The Bar of Badasses
by dragoritus
Summary: (Warning many other franchises will be included) When the worlds of games, anime, movies and many more collide in a made up town where everyone can drink and sing in the Bar of badasses owned by Kratos, whose bartender serves as the end of all lives (Death), and the Bouncer known to abliterate everything... (Asura from Asura's wrath)
1. Introducing the people

The bar of badasses

Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters they belong to their respected owners which includes:

Anime, Games, movies, comics, and many others.

Characters:

Bartender- Death (Darksiders)

Bouncer- Asura

Owner- Kratos

Regular customers:

War (Darksiders)- lives in the abandoned military camp.

Sephiroth (Final Fantasy 7)- where he lives is unknown

Godzilla (Human sized)- Lives in the nuclear plant and works over seas (Destroy Japan!)

Deadpool- Lives where ever the fuck he wants. (Deadpool- That's right boy)

Sauron (Shadow of Mordor version)- Lives in the dark clouded desert with a tower in the center.

Shredder (2014)- lives in the highest building in town.

Bowser- lives in a castle in the volcanic part of town.

Scorpion- lives under the town in the Neatherealm.

Pikachu- lives in his own pet store.

Solomon (Godzilla Creepy pasta)- Famous actor in town (Still the best!)

Dragonborn- Lives in the wilderness of the snowy mountain regions.

King Kong- Lives in a zoo.

Customers:

Megatron (Movies)- Lives in the junk yard.

Gipsy Danger (Human sized)- Lives in the technological research facility.

Roy Mustang- lives huh... what ever he's useless.

 **Customers that were kicked out**

Link (formerly)- After starting a fight with Death's brother War (Who could give a shit) Link has been kicked out of the bar by Azura but is constantly being thrown out by Kratos himself.

Mario- lives in the second floor of his store "Super Mario Bros workshop"

Sonic- Lives in the race tracks in town.

 **Note the cast of characters will grow by suggestions**


	2. Episode 1: In Gamerville

Episode 1: In Gamerville

 **In the legendary bar of Badasses...**

A man with a skull like mask and purple armor was pouring a bottle with a picture of a toxic symbol labeled on it as the door to the building opened to see a black scaled dinosaur creature walk in.

 **(Death- the oldest horsemen of the apocalypse and the belief of Death given form)**

The man then said "Hey Godzilla you've had trouble with Mila again?"

 **(Godzilla- king of the monsters and the very icon of Japan even though his job is to destroy it.)**

Godzilla sighed and said "Yeah he's in that rebellious stage... sometimes I just want to drop a nuke down my throat and go Meltdown when he asks me if he has a mother. I mean I am his father but I can't just say hey I'm also your mother soooo... Death how's Kratos and Asura been I need to catch up."

Death sat the glass in front of Godzilla and said "Yeah the boss is at the gym and Asura..."

 **(Asura- the demigod of wrath and one of the strongest beings the the universe)**

Then suddenly a green clothed kid walked in with a blank expression as a blue fairy floated next to him as the fairy shouted "LISTEN!"

Death squinted his eyes and said "Yeah?"

Then the fairy shouted again "LISTEN!"

Then Godzilla raised his scaly brow and said "What?"

The Fairy yet again shouted "LISTEN!"

Death sighed annoyed as did Godzilla and said to the costumer "And you see what the shit I've got to be put through ever since Zelda fans hate me and my brother for having similar games to legend of Zelda... plus they miss the fact that... MY CREATORS HAD BARROWED AND STOLE FROM MORE THEN JUST ZELDA AND I WORK FOR ONE OF THEM!"

Then the Fairy whispered "Listen..."

Godzilla then growled out of annoyance of the fairy as smoke emerged from his nostrils and made the Fairy fly out from the smoke getting near it as Death asked the boy "And what do you want this time Link?"

 **(Link- The boy whose power over ther triforce of Courage and the the vendor in Gamerville.)**

Link then shouted "HYAAA!"

Death squinted his eyes and said "Look you might have invented the hook shot and the horse riding system but your experience is low."

Godzilla then said "You've got that right..."

Then Link shouted again "HYAAAAAAA!"

Death then palmed his mask and said "We mean is that your game was made in 1986 yes I was not introduce since 2012 but... by the book of Revelations I date nearly 70 years after Christ's death."

And Godzilla concluded "And I was put on screen in 1954 so suck it green bitch!"

Link squinted his eyes at Godzilla who was taking a sip of the glass Death handed to him with no intent to even bother with Link as Link pulled out his sword but a golden metal hand grabbed his tunic as he heard a man say "Kratos said you are not to start shit again remember green boy?"

Link then nodded as he kept his eyes on Death who was cleaning the counter as the man threw Link out and shouted "AND GO TELL GANONDORF THAT ASURA SAYS FUCK YOU!"

Death then said "Hey Asura where you've been?"

Asura then said "Yeah just had to beat another planet sized..."

But Godzilla and Death both sighed and said in unison "A planet sized fatass!"

Then Asura steamed and said "That's right and all I had to do was..."

But he was interrupted again as Godzilla said "His finger was his weakness we know."

Asura steamed again and asked "Ok then tell me Godzilla what can you do to top me off?"

Godzilla then said "Ugh ok where to begin? oh yes I'd go..."

Then Death and Asura sighed and said as Godzilla stated "YOU GO MELTDOWN INSIDE THE FAT MAN AND MELT HIMN FROM THE INSIDE THEN YOU WOULD USE THE SOULS FROM THE ANGRY WARRIORS TO RESURRECT YOURSELF."

Godzilla then said "And that's how it's done."

Then the door opened and everyone saw their favorite ash covered bar owner.

 **(Kratos the god of war and another one of the strongest beings in the universe.)**

Godzilla then said "Yo Kratos how was the gym?"

Kratos then said "War was quite the foe during out usual competitions."

 **(War- the first horsemen of the apocalypse and the very belief of war one of many strong beings in the universe.)**

Death then chuckled and said "Yeah War's got a habit of training and keeping focus."

Kratos then frowned and walked inside hios office behind the counter as Death said "And he's still mopping over his family's deaths Jesus!"

Asura then threw a punch at Death but Death had grabbed his fist while tending to the counter as Godzilla took another sip of his drink and said "Oh come on Asura you know that you can't hurt Death."

Asura then stated "Kratos did!"

Death then stated "Yeah... and that was a God of death not the belief a god can be killed in Greek mythology but the belief will stand forever."

Then Godzilla asked "And how is is that Kratos killed all the gods of Olympus?"

Death then said "Simple they were pussies."

Asura nodded as did Godzilla as Kratos shouted from behind the door "YOU KNOW I CAN STILL HEAR YOU FOOLS!"

Then Godzilla whispered "And there goes the neighborhood..."

The doors opened as everyone turned to see a man in a red skin tight suit and white eyes on his mask as Death grabbed his head with both hands and thought "Please no..."

The man then had a thought bubble popped up which said in dumb thoughts "Hey is that Big G over there with our girl?"

Then another thought popped out in intelligent thoughts "Well technicall that is not the Death we know..."

Then the man said to himself "No still Death."

Godzilla laughed and said "Bet Death leashes out first and decapitates Deadpool three times!"

 **(Deadpool- the merc with the mouth whose known to break the fourth wall and litterally killed the marvel universe.)**

Deadpool then said "That's right I KILLED ALL THE HEROES IN MARVEL! AND DEATHSTROKE IN SCREWATTACK'S DEATH BATTLE!"

Asura then placed a twnety and said "I bet Death will just walk back in the employies only lounge with Kratos after the second decapitation."

Godzilla then said "Your on!"

Deadpool then sat in front of Death looking at him with a look of wonder and asked "So Death baby when are ya gonna go back to that sexy look?"

Death then pulled out his scythe and cut Deadpool's head off as his body had fell off the stool and Deadpool's head reformed a body and asked "But... baby I can change for you!"

Death then cut Deadpool's head off again as he regenerated his body agaion and sang "Baby come back you can blame it all on me!"

Death squinted his eyes and walked in the employ's lounge as Godzilla watched with his jaw dropped and Asura taking the money and said "Yep told ya he would!"


	3. Chapter 1 part 2: Movies?

Episode 1.5: Movies?

 **With three PS exclusive known characters...**

A cat like alien with a robot were sitting in the bar with four other characters one a racoon thief with his turtle friend, and a elf like man with an otssel in pants and goggles.

 **(Ratchet and Clank, Sly Cooper and Bentley, and Jak and Daxter)**

Ratchet had asked "So have you guys heard me and Clank are getting a movie soon."

Sly had stated "Yeah I heard about that but our trailer was better then yours."

Then Bentley stated "Yeah in terms of complete stealth and insulting cops yes..."

Then Jak and Daxter squinted their eyes as Daxter asked "HEY why do your games get movies and look awesome but we get nothing but crap for... hey Jak when was our last real game made?"

Jak then said "Not since our third debut in 2004..."

Then Sly asked "But what about that X game?"

Jak stated "Oh the races were great..."

Then Daxter stated "Yeah... that sucked we got shot at through out the game... BUT DON'T WE GET A FILM LIKE YOU GUYS?! I MEAN WE WERE ONE OF THE FEW GAMES THAT WERE FIRST PUT ON THE PS2 AND YET NOTHING GOOD SINCE JAK 3 WHY?!"

Then Clank said "Perhaps it is because your outdated?"

There was silence as Jak was shockingly getting angry as Daxter said "HEY NOT TRUE AT LEAST WE HAD A GOOD RUN AND REALISTIC STORY!"

Clank then stated "In your Game yes..."

Then out of nowhere a purple dragon with a golden dragonfly walked by as the purple dragon said "At least you haven't had a movie that was cancelled..."

Jak then said "That is true Spyro... that is very much so true."


	4. Episode 2: The weirdo's bar

Episode 2: The weirdo's bar!

Deadpool was headed to the bar when he saw female Death headed into the bar as Deadpool thought "Hey Dragoritus is Death finally change back into a sexy lady?"

 **(Dragoritus**

 **titles: Kaijuologist, author, The sanity beneath your skin, Me,** **That one guy, Mr. smartass.**

 **the writer or the episodes and creator of Dragorah the OC of his version of the Kaijuverse, his personality is unexplained... Happy, smartass, can be rude but only when provoked or someone being constantly stupid, angry when near my mother and my only sister out of 10 or 11 yeah daddy was busy.)**

 **Then I come in as a shadow being and say "come on bro don't ask me that... you should know for yourself do what Deadpool does best."**

Deadpool then walked into the bar to see Lady Death kissing Sir Death's mask and shouted "DEATH?!"

Then both Deaths turned to see Deadpool and asked in unison "What?"

Then two Deadpool's thought cloud pop up "Hey is that guy stealing our girl?"

The other thought cloud said "No their both Death but from different universes."

Deadpool then said "Talk about being a Narcissist."

Then "Sir" Death said "Don't be that way bitch let me introduce you my half naked sister Fury and her titties too!"

Then Fury who was having whine asked "Wait... you want me to show off my tits to Deadpool why?"

Deadpool then asked "WHY NOT?!"

Fury said "Ok..."

Then Fury had opened her bra and a bright light had shined onto Deadpool as he imagined a flower feild around him as he skipped towards her with his arm reaching out to Fury's boobs. Then suddenly Fury closed her bra as Deadpool fell into despairas Despair rose under him and escorted him out the bar as "Sir" Death laughed.

 **Meanwhile in the snowy mountains of Mediatopia**

A man with blonde hair, in iron armor, horned iron helmet had killed a snow bear and opened a screen in front of him and gave him options, fast travel, skills, equipment, and magic. The man had use the Fast travel as the scene turns to a chicken inside an abyss with smoke then the scene changes to the man in front of the Bar.

The man entered to see "Sir" Death cleaning the counter as he turned to see the man and said "Oh Dovakiin what brings you here from the Fangirl mountain range?"

Then a screen had appeared as the Dovakiin was given as choice "It was awesome, it was awful or I had my fair time with my Fangirls."

The Dovakiin chose "I had my fair time with my Fan girls."

Then Death sighed and said "What about Serana?"

Then the Dovakiin was given a choice "She doesn't care, we... broke up... or WHY SERANA?!"

The Dovakiin chose "WHY SERANA?!"

Then sighed and said "Why does the bar have so many damn weirdos today?"

The door opened and everyone gasped as they saw a man with a 8 foot Katana with hip length silver hair, single black wing and green eyes had walked in with his black leather trench coat. Then Death said "Welcome back Sephiroth how was try to kill the life stream?"

 **(Sephiroth- the one winged angel nearly killed his planet's life stream, and nearly won after his ressurection but now is the Square Enix terrorist mostly in Kingdom Hearts.)**

Sephiroth then said "I don't care for the life stream anymore I'm in Kingdom hearts for now on."

Then Death said "Hmm ok your reserved seat is with the boss as always."

Then Sephiroth had went through the door headed to the employee's lounge and as soon as he went in Asura shouted "SEPHIIIIIIIIIIIIROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTHHHHHHHHTH!

Then Sephiroth asked calmly "Yes?"


	5. Episode 3: Link vs Death

Episode 3: Link vs Death

In bar Kratos was sitting in his desk with a picture of his wife and daughter on it as he heard the door to the bar slam open and heard Link's fairy shout "LISTEN!"

Then Death said "OH FOR THE LOVE OF GOD SHUT THAT FAIRY UP AND TALK FOR YOURSELF DUMBASS!"

The Fairy backed off as Link shouted "HYYAAAAAAA!"

Death sighed and pointed towards the back and shouted "WAR YOU'VE BEEN CHALLENGED BY PRETTY GREEN OVER HERE!"

War stood up in his abyssal armor and walked over to see Link and said "He is not worthy to fight THE War."

Death then said "You heard him pretty green you are not worthy."

Then Link pointed at Death and shouted "HYAAAAAAA!"

Death froze and place the glass of his deadly booze and asked "Hey boss... Kratos I've been challenged by pretty green and I'm getting tired of this can I..."

Then Kratos said behind the wall "GO! BRING GLORY TO THE BAR!"

Death then removed his bartender's outfit and showed his necromancer outfit and said "I accept your challenge pretty green!"

Then Link pulled out his grandmaster sword and lounged at Death but Death had grabbed Link's hand that weilded the sword and gave a quick twist breaking his hand disarming him. Death then grabbed Link's face and threw him out the door as he walked causally after him as War, Asura, and Kratos had wanted to see how the fight goes.

Link had used a healing potion as Death tossed his sword back to him and said "Go ahead and use that noob juice."

Then Asura shouted "YOU JUST GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT PWNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNDDDDDDDDD!"

Kratos then said "Hmmm noob juice."

Death stood as Link swung his blade at him but when it struck it had no effect as Link widened his eyes as Death backhanded him and said "Your blade can't hurt me for I am everyone's end stupid boy!"

Then Death let Link stabbed him through the chest as Death said "Much like War straight to my chest."

War then looked at his left hand and said "Yeah don't piss him off kid..."

Then Death grabbed Link's head in his palm and held him over his head and smashed his body onto the ground and looked downward as Link smirked thinking he had won but Death pulled it out with little effort and said "So the Master sword is wielded by a Hero of time? Well since I am Death I cannot stay gone forever since everyone dies in every time, plus I did travel through time with my Phase walker ability any other tricks you got?"

Link was frozen in place as Death threw the sword back to Link as he summoned his Harvester scythe as Link charged at Death but Death flipped over him and stabbed his scythe in Link's back. Link now feeling ill was on his knees as Death pulled out his Harvester scythe out and said "No one can end Death pretty green not even a boy from many reincarnations of one soul... but I have existed sicne life was given Life and Death are needed."

Death beagn to walk away and stated one last thing "And oh there's only one god... and that god is Death for Death has power to end all lives without a form and challenging a form given Death was not very bright Pretty green."

Then Asura huffed "Well I killed my god..."

Death then walked by and said "And now he is DEAD which means Death still wins!"

Asura then shouted "YOU WANT SOME?"

Death then stated "No and I have a job to do remember?"

Then Kratos looked at Link as Shao Khan's voice shouted "FINISH HIM!"

Kratos had grabbed Link by the neck and waist and shouted ripping Link in half as Shao Khan's voice stated "KRATOS WINS!"


	6. Episode 4: He's got balls!

Episode 4: He's got balls

Dragon balls!

(Just to let the Pretty Green fans know no one stays dead in this show think of it as if they respawn)

Death was cleaning his counter when the door opened as Godzilla walked in and asked "The usual Atomic toxins?"

Godzilla nodded as he sat on a stool when Death heard Kratos shout "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Godzilla had then sighed and said "I guess I know whose coming..."

Death sighed as well when the bar doors opened and Death saw Link in a wheel chair with bandages wrapped around his waist and said "Looks whose back sorry Link no drinks for noobs."

Link had wheeled himself in and shouted "HYAAA!"

Death then asked "Does that hurt?"

Link then shouted "HYAAAAA!"

Death nodded and said "I see... oh and Link Goku's on his way as Kratos is getting pissed about it."

Godzilla laughed and said "Yeah, I remember the last time Kratos was obliterated from Goku's kamehame-whatever."

The door opened as Goku walked in waving his hand saying "Hi guys!"

Death then said "Shut ball lover."

Godzilla then said "Burn."

as Link shouted 'HYAAAAAA!"

Goku then said "Wha you to fight me G? Death?"

Death then stated "I don't have to fight you you keep coming back to me in your world, I think you just want to be gay for me."

Goku then stated "I have a wife and two kids!"

Then Death stated "Yeah so did my mother but that didn't stop her from being a whore now did?"

Goku then threatened aid "I will go super saiyan on you!"

Death then stated "And all I have to do is wait for you to die... again."

Goku then backed off and said "Great Beerus was one god now I have to fight another."

Death then stated plainly "Beerus is technically a god, he's just an immortal with the power to destroy a galaxy and no where near Asura's level, but even his god died which by all means I THE god."

Goku then asked "How?'

Death then stated "Well in the bible it is stated 'God is in everyone' which is true cause everyone dies, people fear god, and everyone fears Death but cannot escape it."

Godzilla then said "Damn straight!"

Then Goku shouted "BUT NO ONE SEES YOU AS A GOD IN THAT RELIGION!"

Death then stated "Cause I end their lives duh!"

Godzilla then asked "yeah and also didn't Dante kill you?"

Death then slapped Godzilla and Goku with his reaper hand and said "That bitch was already dead and that was not me that was a poor excuse of someone being me."

Goku then got the idea and said "But I can beat you!"

Death then palmed his mask and asked "Bitch... please how many times have you died on your show?"

Goku then said "Uhhhhh..."

Then suddenly Asura had burst through the bar doors and saw Goku and shouted "GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOKKKKKKKKUUUUUUUUUUUU!"

Then Goku turned to Asura and shouted "ASSSSSSUUUUUURRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAA!"

Goku's surroundings became yellow as Asura's was turning red as the two had tackled each other, but Goku kicked Asura off as Asura had grown out six four more arms. Link then shouted "HYAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

Asura then grabbed Link with his arms and shouted "SHUT UUUUUUUUUUUUUPPPPPPPP!"

Then Asura ripped Link's arms, legs and tore him in half."

Death then sighed and grabbed Asura and Goku litterally kicking them out shouting "YOU FUCKING ASSHOLES I HAVE TO CLEAN THAT SHIT AND IT'S NOT EVEN WORTH BEING BITCHED AT!"

Death had then grabbed the limbs and body as Godzilla stated "I wish they actually gave Link a happy ending not this Reincarnation bullshit."

Death then stated "But I get to see him die over and over which is the best for me... hey Deadpool can you tell your peopl my thoughts?"

Deadpool had the newspaper over his face and said "PRETTY GREEN WILL NEVER BE COOL AS ME ZELDA FANS!"

Death then stated "No the other thing!"

Deadpool then said "OH AND DEATH'S LOGIC IS A FACT BITCHES!"

Then the roof crashed in as Goku was torn in half Asura held his lower body over his head shouting "NO ONE WILL EVER SEE YOUR STUPID ASS AGAIN!"

Then Death stated "Until his friends decide to be pussies and resurrect him with dragon balls... GAY!"

Goku then pulled up his finger as he bled from his half torn off body and said "I have a better histroy then you!"

Death then asked saracstically "Oh really? since when were you the very thing that everything fears but cannot escape?"

Goku's finger fell life less as Godzilla drank his toxin and said "He'll be back guaranteed."

Asura then sighed and said "yeah cause no one was his story to end..."

Death then slammed his fists on the counter an said "No oviously sees that Dragon ball Z has no story... and the anime had the biggest lie ever!"

Godzilla then asked "And that was?"

Death answered "Frieza stated the planet of Namek would blow up in five minutes... it took almost fifty little over twenty minute episodes to even get close... Frieza lied and Goku believed it!"

Kratos then said from the side of the wall "Damn straight!"

 **Next time in the Bar of Badasses...**

 **The dark lord Sauron has finally come out of his secluded tower and has a drink... what could go wrong?**

 **Marriage... Marriage will be his end.**

 **Looks like the one ring will have to be two rings.**


	7. Games turned into anime

What Video game franchises and a movies I think could make a great anime

 **God of war series** : Think about it there's a lot of medieval and mythical anime that have many creatures and God of war's creatures that are unique in their own right. I would see Gonzo studios doing this one in my opinion.

 **Darksiders series:** This to me is a MUST HAVE because it has many qualities of a Demonic fantasy anime, I would set this before the first game telling how the Horsemen slaughtered their people and from then on to the current time.

And Gonzo would be perfect for this as well since they both did Bayonetta bloody fate and Hellsing instant "shut up and take my" deal.

And if I must list anime that can certainly be a good reference, then I will cause I personally want a Darksiders anime:

* * *

 **(And no Dante's inferno that anime was confusing why would many styles would be put into one story)**

 **Devil may cry-** Though I have yet to begin any games or the anime show I think this would be a nice idea.

 **Bayonetta-** You had to have seen this one coming, yes the anime based on the first game blew my mind even though I didn't get into the game I might try it again. Especially where this, Devil may cry and Darksiders have at least one character that solely uses guns and have all have a similar personality. (Dante, Bayonetta and Strife)

I can see this as a style Strife's character.

 **Inuyasha-** This is not of what the theme is but what the style is and this would be a perfect style in my opinion for War because I War with a big ass sword and brutally killing his enemies.

End of list

* * *

The list could go on but not today.

 **Halo** (continuation of the Odd one out from the legends)- I would love the character spartan 1337 to continue on his story even though it's non-cannon I don't give a damn he's my favorite comical spartan of all time.

Toei animation I would choose since they did the Odd one out and get this it's style was based on the Dragon ball series I was instantly sold the minute found that out.

 **Gears of War-** I know what your thinking "Gears really?" but bare with me I think a Gears of war anime might be a great idea, for a mix of horror, action, comedy which was essentially the first gears of war and it made sense why the rest was mostly action packed cause the Kryll got extinct and since most anime have what the Gears have:

* * *

Comedy

Action

tragedy (hehe)

badass evil doers

Monsters

Mystery

and their own great design of guns

end of list

* * *

 **Godzilla-** I still question why there has not been a Godzilla anime, there was a manga but appaerantly it was questionably dumb. Godzilla has influenced many anime series, such as Evangelion, Attack on Titan, and many more Why is it the one frAnd Finallyanchise that starts the inpiration of the genre gets nothing more than movies and games.

* * *

I would have different studios on this because I think the best way to bring Godzilla into a anime adaptation is by starting of with a serious tone.

I would choose the studio bones for they have a good grasp of the environmental style and serious tone like they did with the Fullmetal alchemist series, based on the Heisei series and on so forth

I would also have a more comical version that would be based on the entirety of the franchise, My best thought of the studio who could do this would be Gainax.

* * *

And finally but this might not be a per say a anime but a Tv show based on drum roll please...

 **Skyrim-** This NEEDS to happen after Game of thrones is over cause you know competition divides fans and blah, blah, blah but I would pay my entire life savings (Not really) to see Skyrim come to life.

And I would have Skyrim have many non-cannon characters to fill in the roles of the side quests that the Dovakiin could choose from.

I would have HBO do this since they did so well with Game of thrones I can't think of any studio else better that can achieve this.

Think of it like this:

first season be set as the Dovakiin is freed from prison and before he meets Delphine. (and of course add some more detail to it like the Dovakiin defanding himself from bandits, assassins ext.)

second season have a non-cannon character (let's say Argonian) gets tangled with the Dark brotherhood and ends before he takes the job from the Night mother. (Like the first add some more details to the Dark brotherhood plot.)

Third season have a Khajiit be recruited by the Thieves guild up until Gulum ei.

and it can go on.

So there's in my opinion games and a movie that should have their own Anime and Tv show tell me your thoughts.


	8. Episode 5: What happened to Dante!

Episode 5: What happened to Dante?!

Dragoritus: Ok DEVIL MAY CRY FANS I MAY NOT BE ONE OF YOU BUT I AM AS OF NOW ON YOUR SIDE, I PLAYED NOT EVEN 20 MINUTES OF THIS GAME AND AGAIN I'M NOT A FAN OF DEVIL MAY CRY SO HERE'S WHAT I FELT AS OF NOW ABOUT IT.

* * *

Dragoritus: Hey Death, Kratos I just bought a new game!

Death: Good now you can make fan fiction other than Darksiders.

Kratos: What game?

Dragoritus: It's called... DMC Devil may cry sounds like my kind of game.

Kratos: DRAGORITUUUUUUUUUUSSSSS! WHY?! WHY?!

Dragoritus: What did I do wrong...?

Kratos: I beg of you don't play it... it's eeeeeeeeevil!

Dragoritus: Oh come on it can't be that bad...

 **after first boss battle... oh god here we go.**

Dragoritus' death stare at the screen with fire melting his eyes, he stood up and removed the disk placed in it's case before going outside. Dragoritus then calmly slammed the case into the street and walked back to his house then returned with a sledgehammer and smashed the case and disk into pieces.

Dragoritus repeated this until the hammer broke and went back with a car and ran over the remains until he ran out of gas, Dragoritus then returned to is home and pulled out a gasoline can and poured the gas all over of what remains. Dragoritus then lit a match and dropped it on the gass burning the plastic to oblivion from whence it came.

Dragoritus then walked back inside his house and curled up into a ball rocking back and forth and said "That... just... Never gain, never again."

 **Few years later...**

Death walks through my door and shouts "HEY DRAGORITUS WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?!"

Death then heard Dragoritus in his room shout "NEVER AGAIN! NEVER AGAIN!"

Death then walked in to see the words "EMO DANTE MUST DIE!"

Death then said "Oh shit... don't tell me..."

Death then saw Dragoritus on his bed shaking in anger and grabbed his shoulders before shouting "WHY DID YOU DO THAT?! WHYYYYYYY?!"

Dragoritus: It's not what it seems... it ain't what it... seems oh god it had a pussy shaped forehead!

Death then bought the game days later and put on the "ANTI-EVIL GAME CONTAINMENT SUIT"

Death and Kratos both had the suit on and played beat the first boss before the real Dante walked in and saw his game and shouted "MY EYEEEEEESSSSSSS!"

Death then took Dante and Kratos burned down the entire house as Death said "Don't you dare die on me Dante!"

Dante then said "Uhahaha... Death said don't die on him... how cute.

Death: Dante?! DANTE?! NOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Kratos: my soul hurts...

Dragoritus then stumbled out his house and said "My very existence hurts!"

Death then forced Dante's eyes closed and shouted "HACK N SLASH PROS UNIIIIIIIIIIIIIITE!

Then an large group of characters from Hack n slash games arrived, Bayonetta, War, Deadpool, Ryu, and all the other great hack n slash games came as Kratos shouted "KILL CAPCOOOOOOOOOOM! THEY MURDERED ONE OF OURS!"

Death: MAKE THEM PAY THEY KILLED DANTE!

* * *

Dragoritus: I'm not a Devil may cry fan but this game burned a whole in my soul no one whose the bride of a baddie calls everyone a bitch to their lovers and then calls themselves a bitch!

Now that I've seen what Dante should act I say this, Capcom... you murdered both your cocky badass and your fans, this crime should not go unpunished.

But before I go, I do have to say that Emo Dante surprised me that he didn't even cut himself in this game this is why Bayonetta continues on... because she's like the spirit of what Dante once was... FUCKING AWESOME!

When if anyone asks me if I like DMC I say this "I DO NOT DARE EVEN SPEAK OF THAT MONSTROSITY!


	9. Episode 7 (Teaser)

Episode 6 Teaser (Master Chief)

Suggested by: **Primus1** **661**

 **Keith David's voice it's so sexy!**

 **In a universe where all media are connected, kinda like Wreck it Ralph but for adults who don't act like little fucking kids, comes Bar of Badasses: THE WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU BITCH ABOUT HOW HALO 4 WAS SHIT WHEN YOU BEGGED FOR IT?! EDITION.**

 **Witness how Halo fans wanted an evolved Halo game and bitched at how they got EXACTLY WHAT THEY WANTED!**

 **The universe is in turmoil the Master Chief is missing... not really he's in the Bar with Kratos and War as Chief palming his visor at the way his developers won't let him have a good ending. Watch as Master Chief gets the same treatment as he did in Halo 2, character swapping.**

 **And I should know... I was there in Halo 2 being the Arbiter and all but my voice never seems to stop being so damn sexy, Oh yeah Elite all over that shit bitches.**

 **STARING:**

 **PRETTY GREEN (LINK)**

 **THE GUY THAT ALMOST EVERY ZELDA FAN HATES (DEATH)**

 **COPY CAT GOD OF WAR (INFERNO'S DANTE)**

 **GUY THAT BEGAN A WHAT IF SCENARIO WITH THE GREEK MYTHOS (KRATOS)**

 **THE WORLD'S ANGRIEST DAD! (ASURA)**

 **BOOB WICTH? (BAYONETTA)**

 **THE GUY THAT GAVE ALIENS, DOOM AND PREDATOR A RUN FOR IT'S MONEY (MASTER CHIEF)**

 **AND ME THE ARBITER AND MY SEXY ASS VOICE**

 **Oh and Dragoritus... you may have pissed off so many fans just now right?**

 **Dragoritus: I don't care they can be butt hurt somewhere else!**

 **Arbiter: Ok... back to teaser...**

 **so join the Bar of badasses in episode 6: What the fuck Halo?!**

 **by Dragoritus and suggested by Primus1661.**

 **Did I mention I have a sexy ass voice?**


	10. Episode 7: What happened to Halo?

Episode 7: What happened to Halo?

A super soldier with green armor that is from his fourth entry and a orange visor a man so damn manly he made War look like a spartan until he finally gained emotions... then he became something more... something that a human should have. EMOTIONS!

 **(John 117 AKA The Master Chief- Destroyer of alpha Halo a super weapon twice! Destroyer of the one thing that can activate all the Halos the Ark and now everybody's least favorite Super soldier for his fourth entry... How would you feel if your best friend/holographic girlfriend just died?)**

Master Chief from the popular Halo franchise was in the bar scratching his helmet as Death asked "So Master Chief is rare to have a first person shooter character in here it must be very difficult what happened?"

Master Chief showed a picture of 343's announcement of no Elites and said "I don't want to live on this planet anymore..."

Death then yelled "Yo Arbiter get in here!"

Then the newly designed Arbiter walked in and asked "What do you want to hear my sexy voice again?"

Death then closed his eyes and said "Ohhh that voice..."

Master Chief agreed and said "Good to have you back with Halo once again Arbiter."

Arbiter then said "Of course you can't have a sequel to Halo 4 which was like Halo 1 spartans only without me as a playable character."

Death then handed Arbiter the paper and said "Check again..."

Arbiter murmured and said "I'm in same voice actor I approve... wait a minute... no... this... this can't be."

Death then said "Yeah it's true."

Arbiter crumbled the paper and said "WHO PUTS ME AS A MAJOR CHARACTER AND NOT MAKE ME A PLAYABLE CHARACTER?! AND WHO MAKES NO PLAYABLE ARMOR FOR ELITES FOR MULTILAYER?!"

Master Chief then said "343 who only gave the Elites even more badass armors and not make them playable."

Then woman walked in as Death flirted a whistled and said "And here's another fine beauty of a hack n slash badass Bayonetta."

 **(Bayonetta- the biggest ass in Hack n slash gaming ever** **with a slutty sense of killing her bosses... IT WAS WORTH IT!)**

Bayonetta pulled out a lollipop and stuck it in her cleavage (I kinda to bring the camera towards her face) Bayonetta then brought the camera to her face and said "My eyes are up here Reader."

(ORGASMS JUST HAPPENED AND YOU KNOW IT)

Death then cleaned a bottle and poorer some Angel blood with a drop of a soul and slid it across the counter top and said "On the house Bayonetta!"

Bayonetta then took a sip and said "hmm better than Rodin's very addictive."

Master Chief then pointed at the glass and said "I'll have what she's having."

Death then said "Ok that'll be... carry the one... four hundred and sixty dollars."

Master Chief then curled his finger and said "Never mind..."

Then the door opened as Mario walked in and said "It's a me Mario."

Death then shouted "HEY DID YOU FORGET YOUR ARE BANNED FROM COMING BACK TO THIS BAR OF BADASSES?"

Mario then stated "Oh no I'ma not that video game Mario I'ma the Super Mario bros Z Mario."

Death then cooked up a star whisky and slid it down to Mario and said "That's my kind of Mario and Sonic crossover."

Then a bunch of 3D Platformer characters walked in as Death noted "Ahh Jak, Daxter, Classic Spyro, Sparx, Classic Crash, Ratchet, Clank, and Sly Cooper welcome to the Bar of Badasses."

Then Daxter said "Thanks Death's bone face!"

Death then glared at dexter but stopped to say "Your the best comical side kick."

Clank then asked "What about me?"

Death then stated "When it comes to a robotic comical relief yes."

Sly then noticed that all the platforms have some kind of side kick with the exception of Crash and asked "How come I don't get a side kick?"

Jack then stated "Because none of your can ride you or be your backpack."

Then Link's Fairy dashed in and said "LISTEN!"

War then shouted from waaaaaay in the back of the Bar and said "OH FOR FUCK'S SAKE WATCHER WILL YOU PLEASE?!"

Then War's version of a guide flew in and said (WITH MARK HAMILL'S VOICE!) "At least I can actually speak with words and sound like I'm useful!"

Link then pointed his sword at the Watcher and shouted "HYAAAAAA!"

Watcher then said "Buzz off your little faggot I've got a bone to pick with your annoying listening fairy!"

Then the Platformer characters walked off to their seats as a Master Chief asked "What's happening?"

Death then stated "Oh their gonna have roast competition."

Then Shao Khan walked in and stood between the Fairy and the Watcher and said "Round 1... ROAST!"

The watcher then picked up a microphne out of nowhere and said "I LADIES FIRST."

The Fairy tried to pick up a microphone but failed to carry it and fell down as Shao Khan announced "WATCHER WINS... ROUND TWO... ROAST!"

The Fairy then said "Listen, listen, listen, listen, listen, listen!"

Then the Watcher squinted his eyes and said "I am listening! speak other than (Mocking the Fairy's voice) LISTEN AND HEY LISTNTEN! (Back to his regular voice) At least my games have me with actually have words other than three!"

Then Daxter, Jak, Ratchet and Sly all said "OOOOOOOHHHH BURN!"

Then the Fairy said "HEY... LISTEN?"

Then the Platformer characters shook their heads as Shao Khan said "WATCHER WINS! FINAL ROUND ROAST!"

Watcher then said "AT LEAST MY GAMES WE ACTUALLY HAVE VOICE ACTING COMPARED TO YOU, WHO ONLY HYAAAAAAA, AND HEY LISTEN!"

Then Death said "Burn."

but then a western music was played as everyone gasped as the doors opened revealing... CHUCK NORRRIIIIIIIIS!"

 **(Chuck Norris- He knows)**

Chuck heard the roast and gave a thumbs up and said "I approve the Watcher's claim."

Shao Khan then said "WINNER THE WATCHER! FINISH HER!"

The Watcher then bounded to the Fairy and said "Hope you like my fatality."

The Watcher then snapped his fingers and made the Fairy explode as Shao Khan said "Flawless victory,Fatality."

Then Asura walked in and saw Chuck Norris and went straight back outside and said "Nope."

Death then stated "The only being Asura will not fight cause the legends say that beneath that magnificent beard is just another fist."

Chuck everyone turned to Chuck Norris who vanished without anyone knowing as Bayonetta said "That scares me."

Death then said "He scares everyone even me."

Master Chief then asked "How?"

Death then showed a video of a man killing Chuck Norris and Death came to collect the soul but the body just went on as Chuck said "When I'm ready."

Death stood there silently as he dropped his scythe and said "I need change armor..."

Then the platforms left as Mast Chief asked "Hey what happened to the Halo talk?"

Then I walk in and said "I'll take it from here."

Master Chief then asked "Whose this guy?"

Then the Arbiter said "No clue."

Then everyone closed their eyes and said "Oh his voice it's so sexy."

 **Dragoritu's what the fuck Halo**

 **I have no problem with Halo it's story great the multiplayer games are awesome Hell RED VS BLUE NOUGH SAID!**

 **How ever 343 industry announced that Halo 5 will not have Elites or any other playable race... FUCK YOU!**

 **I MISS THE ELITES BEING IN THE MULTIPLAYER WHY HAVE THE ARBITER IN SO MANY TRAILERS IF YOUR NOT GONNA BE ABLE TO PLAY AS HIM?!**

 **NOW WE CAN'T PLAY CO-OP LOCALLY?!**

 **AND THE STORAGE SPACE!**

 **YOU WISHED FOR A NEW GAME FOR HALO... BUT NO ONE SAID THIS BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU WISH FOR!**

 **GUESS WHAT FANBOYS AND GIRLS YOU GOT WHAT WHAT YOU WISHED FOR AND I AM AMONG THOSE PEOPLE SO I ADMIT IT BUT IN MY OWN OPINION HERE'S WHY I LIKE HALO 4 OVER REACH!**

 **1\. The armor doesn't keep you from sprinting unlike in Reach the armors are not as mobile or maneuverable than the Halo 4's think about it!**

 **2\. Halo evolves... wait a minute what was the first Halo games' name Halo combat evolved... WHY ARE YOU FANS BITCHING ABOUT IT WAS IN THE NAME IN THE FIRST GAME! WHAT THE HELL?!**

 **3\. Bodies can be destroyed completely I liked making the bodies fall off cliffs for some reason but now I can comely destroy them? THAT'S GOING BE VERY HELPFUL WHEN FLOOD RETURNS AND WE ALL KNOW THEIR COMING LIKE THE ROACHES THEY ARE CAN'T THEM ALL COMPLETELY!**

 **And Finally**

 **4\. Master Chief finally shows emotion like concern, sadness and loneliness in his voice.**

 **AND DON'T SAY COUNT THE BOOKS, COMICS AND OTHER STUFF BECAUSE THAT'S NOT A GAME WHAT STARTED AS A GAME SHOULD BE MENTIONED AS A GAME!**

 **I DON'T HATE HALO I LOVE IT BUT 343 INDUSTRIES IS PRETTY MUCH MAKING AN EXCUSE NOT TO PUT ELITES FOR ME AND PEOPLE WILL BITCH ABOUT THE HEAD SHOTS.**

 **IF YOU DON'T LIKE SNIPING ELITES THEN PLAY AS ONE IT WORKS BOTH WAYS.**

 **BACK TO YOU DEATH!**

* * *

Death then said "Riiiiiiight..."

Then Bayonetta said "You Dragoritus I think the Hack n slash characters need a team of their own like... Oh I don't now a Fanifction?"

Dragoritus then placed his hands on his head made an explosion noise and said "DEADPOOOL GET OUT HERE I NEEDS YOU NOW!"

Deadpool then broke the door down as a light from the Heavens cloaked him as he walked in and said "What is my child?"

Dragoritus: ask the readers.

Deadpool: Very well... OOOOOO READERS DRAGORITUS HAS A FUCKING CHALLENGE FOR YOU IF MADE IT THIS FAR! LETS HAVE A HACK N SLASH LEAGUE!

Dragoritus: And no Asura from Asura's wrath he punches no weapons he does' count.

Deadpool: ALL HACK N SLASH CHARACTERS FROM ANY FRACHNISES ARE ACCEPTABLE

Dragoritus: (whispers in Deadpool's ear)

Deadpool: Dragoritus has asked for some one to have Emo Dante brutally murdered by Bayonetta no sex... gruesomely kill the bitch... not Bayonetta she's a witch not a Bitch, that's Emo Dante! Here's a list of must have characters!

* * *

Kratos (Kill all of my family)

Death (Kill all brothers and sisters)

War (Restroe my honor but get vengeance)

Dante (I give no fucks)

Bayonetta (I give fucks but I look like a slut nailed it!)

Deadpool (I shoot people and they die!)

Emo Dante (I can't believe I didn't cut myself!)

Dante from Inferno (Where's my wife?!)

 **(any and all other Hack n slash characters like the ones above are welcome)**


	11. Episode 8: Godzilla vs King Kong AGAIN!

Episode 8: King Kong vs Godzilla AGAIN?!

(One why?)

Godzilla was in the Legendary Bar of Badasses when turtles with two huge tusks sat next to him and said "Hehehe hey G man how are you?"

Godzilla then complained "Uhhh so much bullshit going on Gamera."

 **(Gamera- The guardian of the universe and friend to all children... Like what the Game Grumps say "Rule number 1 never tell your parents, rule number 2... NEVER TELL YOUR PARENTS!")**

Gamers then asked "Why's that?"

Then Godzilla pulled out a laptop and showed Legendary's announcement of King vs Godzilla for 2020 and said "I want to know why this is happening."

The King Kong walked in and said "HA I'M A KAIJU NOW BITCH!"

 **(King Kong- America's 25 feet tall ape.)**

Godzilla then asked "Say Kong you know what I am?"

King Kong then said "Yeah a dinosaur."

Godzilla then stated "Actually no, sense my creators WERE ACTUALLY CREATIVE! I am a non existent dinosaur by using a T-rex and a Stegosaurus for references so Kaiju means strange beast, yes you are strange by size, NOT BY LOOKS!"

Gamera then added "Yeah take me for example I'm a giant turtles with tusks that breathes plasma and can fly what's you excuse?"

King Kong then stated "I was you size in our first fight! And used electricity!"

Godzilla then asked "Dragoritus can you please tell this monkey ass mother fucker what I am capable of!"

Then Dragoritus asked "What like Death battle?"

Godzilla then said "No just make a list of what i'm capable of compared to shit head here!"

* * *

 **Cons of Godzilla compared to King Kong:**

 **GODZILLA:**

 **+ATOMIC RAY (Godzilla's iconic ray of pure radiation)**

 **+SPIRIAL RAY (Godzilla's upgraded version of his Atomic ray but spirals which means piercing damage)**

 **+NUCLEAR PULSE (using the nuclear energy stored within his body Godzilla can emit a short range force push)**

 **+BURNING FORM (This is his weakest state, but also his most dangerous if allowed Godzilla could take out the planet by self explosion)**

 **+HEALING FACTOR (Godzilla had his shoulder cut and was fine a few minutes afterwards)**

 **+STRENGTH (Ghidorah is now push over to pick up unless your Godzilla which defied everything in the laws of physics)**

 **+INTELLIGNECE (GODZILLA USED KICK BOXING, HIS TAIL AND SOMETIMES USED BUILDINGS AS A WEAPON)**

 **+DURABLE (BEING ABLE TO TAKE A METEORITE TO THE FACE AND NOT FLINCH, MONSTERS, AND TOOK A MAN MADE BLACK HOLE TWICE TO THE FACE AND SURVIVED!)**

 **+LIGHTNING ABSORBING (GODZILLA HAS USED NATURE'S POWER TO ENHANCE HIS ATOMIC RAY)**

 **+SUPER FORM (ONLY SEEN IN THE SNES GAME OF GODZILLA BUT THIS IS GODZILLA'S MOST POWERFUL FORM ONLY BAGAN HAS EVER STOOD A CHANCE)**

 **+NOVA RAY (ONLY USED IN HIS SUPER FORM GODZILLA THIS RAY SURPASSES EVEN THAT OF THE SPIRAL RAY)**

 **-COLD RESISTANT (GODZILLA'S ONLY TRUE WEAKNESS IS THE COLD BUT IT DOESN'T KILL HIM IT PUTS HIM INTO A HIBERNATION)**

 **KING KONG (2005 DESIGN BUT GODZILLA'S HEIGHT):**

 **NO THIS COMPARING TO GODZILLA NO ONE ELSE!**

 **-STRENGTH (KING KONG ONLSY SHOWED TO HAVE FACED DINOSAURS AND A GIANT OCTOPUS COMPARED TO GODZILLA)**

 **\- INTELLIGENCE (THE ONLY THING KING KONG HAS SHOWN IN INTELLIGENCE COMPARED TO GODZILLA IS THROWING HIS ENEMIES AT ANOTHER INCOMING ENEMY)**

 **(Not to be confused for a REAL gorilla since they are more social because their in families Kong is all by himself and only knows how to survive on his own which makes him kind of socially awkward)**

 **-DURABILITY (KING KONG WAS KILLED ONTOP OF THE EMPIRE STATE BUILDING BY PLANES COMPARED TO GODZILLA WHO TOOK A METEORITE TO THE FACE WITHOUT FLINCHING!)**

 **-LIGHTNING FIST (KING KONG IN THE FIRST VS MATCH USED THE LIGHTNING TO FACE GODZILLA BUT THAT WAS COMPLETE BULLSHIT IN THE FIRST PLACE)**

 **+COLD RESILIENT (KONG HAS FUR MAKING HIM MORE RESILIENT TO THE COLD THAN GODZILLA BUT HE WOULD HAVE TO LEAVE GODZILLA FORZEN TO WIN LOOK AT FINAL WARS GODZILLA TO SEE WHY)**

* * *

Godzilla then said "Thanks Dragoritus!"

Dragoritus then kicked the door open out and shouted "FUCKING STUPID WHO PUTS A KING OF AN ISLAND AGAINST THE KING OF MONSTERS?!"

Godzilla then said "Yeah and I do hope Gareth Edwards doesn't o this movie because his take is more realistic than a revamped King Kong the size of a skyscraper."

Kong then asked "Hey what about that Cartoon series f mine?!

Dragoritus then ran back and tackled Kong and shouted "THAT WAS A CLONE NOT YOUUUUUU! YOU DUMBASS!"

Gamera then asked "Dude Dragoritus is pissed about this why?"

Dragoritus then stated "King Kong is not meant to fight Godzilla he never was plus that movie King Kong looked Sasquatch not a GORILLA!"


	12. Episode 9: Uhhh Dante's inferno?

Episode 9: Uhhh Dante's inferno?

Kratos was sitting with Asura, as Death gave them some alcohol when suddenly a man with white hair walked in with a sword strapped to his back and said "Yo Death here's that fifty I owe ya!"

 **(Dante from Devil may cry Demon hunter and over all a badass who doesn't give a fuck.)**

Dante tossed a wad of cash as Death caught it and began to count it down before sliding a drink and said "Here Dante this one's on me since Capcom had forsaken you."

Dante then sat down and asked "So did the noob come in today?"

Kratos then growled and said "I tore him in half when he made a graffiti of him banging my dead daughter!"

Death then sighed and said "Wish he hadn't come to existence I mean come on his personality was shit compared to yours Dante."

Dante was taking a sip and nodded before saying "Oh I don't know why the games that show potential an have a chance to continue just be forgotten."

Then Jak and Daxter along with Spyro and Sparx walked out and said "Tell us about it."

But as the four left the bar a being with a black cloak and a large scythe walked in and said "Horsemen your time has..."

But Death had changed into his Reaper form and stared down at the being and said "Take your best shot Death wannabe!"

Then the being swung his scythe at Death but a man with crusader armor had grabbed the being's scythe and decapitated him and stole his scythe but saw Death and said "Why does Lucifer haunt me so?!"

Death then changed back and said "Oh no it's Dante Al... shit!"

Kratos then shot up from his stool and shouted "YOUUUUUUUUUU!"

Dante Al then looked at Kratos and said "Kratos... the power hungry, family murdering bastard!"

Dante then spat at Kratos' direction and Death stepped aside and asked "Shao Khan?"

Then Shao Khan walked out and said "Round one Kratos vs Dante Al... FIGHT!"

Kratos then charged at Dante and tackled him and repeatedly punched his face shouting "I WAS FIRST TO GO TO HELL AND KILL IT'S RULER!"

Then Dante flipped over and began to punch Kratos and shouted "I HAD A REASON TO GO!"

Then Kratos grabbed Dante's arms and broke them and punched Dante's stomach and shouted "YEAH I CAN CHEAT MY WORLD'S DEATH AND COME BACK ALIVE!"

Then Kratos jumped up and head butted Dante as Shao Khan announced "Winner Kratos round two... FIGHT!"

Dante tackeld Kratos and tried to stab his chest with his cross and shouted "LET THE LIGHT IN SIDE YOU!"

Kratos then shouted "MY HATRED FOR THE GODS WILL NEVER DIE!"

Kratos then grabbed Dante's wrist and broke his hand but stood up and tear his arm off and shouted "YOU DON'T DESERVE TO BE CALLED A HERO! A HERO WOULD HAVE SAVED HIS SON WHO WAS SUFFERING BECAUSE OF YOU!"

Kratos then bashed Dante's arm into his face as Shao Khan announced "Fatality!"

Death then waked up and kicked Dante's body and said "Your Death was the first boss... a being who has the power to say where you will go in the afterlife... is the first boss... whose idea was that?"

Then a large EA inside a circle walked in and announced "I DID!"

Then a a gun shot was heard as EA fell dead as Deadpool walked in and said "YO READER TELL ME ONE THING... WHY IS DANTE'S INFERNO HAVE A BIGASS FAN BASE WHILE DARKSIDERS GETS THE... COLD SHOULDER TREATMENT?"

DEATH THEN STATED "Because we have in game mechanics thats similar to Legend of Zelda, Prince of Persia and a bit of God of war."

Deadpool then squinted towards the camera and brought both his guns to his chin and said "I'm out!"

Deadpan shot himself but woke up a few hours later and saw Death beating up Link again and asked "Oh... Hey Dragoritus can I do a request?"

Dragoritus: Do I have much of a choice?

Deadpool: I want Raam in this story you know the first badass Locust general of Gears of war!

Dragoritus: Consider it official.


	13. Ask the author

I have decided to do a ask the author deal and this

Ask the author about:

JAK AND DAXTER ALL THE GAMES (except for Daxter's because I never got to play sadly)

AND WHY I DISLIKE THE LEGEND OF ZELDA SERIES

Any questions are allowed and will be answered by the end of each episode.

You the reader ask away in the comments... if you dare...

Deadpool: Hey your puss in boots!

Dragoritus: Ok... But I don't care.

Death: What about us?

Dragoritus: You'll have your chance... soon.


	14. Episode 10: Gears of war vs God of war

Episode 10: Gear of war vs God of war

 **Underneath the LEGENDARY BAR OF BADASSES!**

A black armored humanoid creature had emerged from a hole leading into the bar and said "DRIIIIINK!"

Death then poured some worm juice and added some grub guts and said "YOU KNOW RAAM I FUCKING HATE IT YOUR FAVORITE DRINK IT STINKS AND JUST LOOKS WRONG!"

 **(General Raam- The first Locust badass who made a huge impression and out of the four Locust villains from Gears of war he is the fan favorite which even I respect. This motherfucker was the ORIGINAL Locust badass out all the Locust bosses because wearing black armor and led an entire army, killing Kim (Who should have ended his codes to Marcus) and controls the Kryll, he wears his new look from the ultimate edition.)**

Raam sat on a bar stool and grabbed the drink and drank it as Deadpool looked and said "See this is just a badass here his people eat worms with rock skin! THANK YOU DRAGORITUS!"

(Your welcome Deadpool.)

Then Kratos walked in and saw Raam and shouted "YOUUUUUUUUU?!"

Raam then stopped drinking as his drink began to spill down his chin as Death grabbed him and tossed him shouting "MOTHERFUCKER I HAVE TO CLEAN THAT SHIT YOU ASSHOLE!"

Raam stood back up and crossed his arms as Kratos declared "MY GAMES WERE GORIER THAN YOURS!"

Raam then shook his head no as Kratos shouted "YES!"

Raam then said "No."

Kratos "YES!"

Raam "NO!"

Deadpool "ME?!"

Raam and Kratos "NOOOOOO!

Then Asura walked in and stated "You two's games are completely different genres..."

Then Kratos shouted "BUT ITS THE OF WAR PART!"

Raam then held his arms out at Kratos and said "Cannot believe this raging idiot!"

Then Death shouted "OK! I'LL LOOK AT BOTH YOUR GAMES HAPPY?!"

Raam and Kratos then nodded in agreement as death took the trilogy of both God of war and Gears of war.

 **three months later (On the hardest difficulty of both games)**

Death returns and has a verdict "For the most combat driven in melee and puzzles it goes to God of war, for heavy sic-fi and military tactics and multiplayer Gears of war but which one is the goriest?"

Raam crossed his arms as Kratos had a smirk on his face as Death announced "Gears of war takes it."

Raam then uncrossed his arms and walked away as Kratos was on the ground punching it shouting "THATS NOT TRUE MY GAMES HAVE ALWAYS BEEN GORIER!"

Death then stated "Your first game was gory but in detail Gears of war 1 was showed more in it's gore but with your bare hands to a chainsaw gun yeah no contest, then the second games of both series God of war upped the gore and story, but Gears of war 2 had you through out the entirety of one level your inside a giant worm where you travel through it's mouth, throat, stomach, three heart chambers with the lat just under it's lines and finally you cu your way out as a river of blood gushes out and some of the worm's organs float out, but your third games beat the gears 3 gore factor."

Then Kratos shouted "HAAAAAA!"

Then Asura then pointed his hand at Kratos and asked "Wh does that matter? I kill a multiverse creator and I didn't even need to have gore."

 **(OOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHH BURRRRRRRRRRRRN!)**

 **Next time on BAR OF THE BADASSES:**

 **EPISODE 11: Kingdom hearts 3? FINALLY!**

 **Trailer:**

 **In a world where peace rules, where sanity strives and chaos is outlawed one team of expendables...**

 **(DEADPOOL- WAIT! We're the expendables now?"**

 **Uhhh no...**

 **(Deadpool- Oh ok continue!.)**

 **... As I was saying one team of expendables...**

 **(Deadpool- But wouldn't that confuse the fuck out of people?)**

 **GOD (BLEEP) DAMMIT YOU KNOW WHAT HERES THE LIST OF CHARACTERS AND THE NAME OF MY NEW IDEA COMING SOON ON YOUR COMPUTER SCREEN... If want to read it.**

Kratos (God of war)

Dante Sparda (Devil may cry)

Bayonetta (...Bayonetta)

Emo Dante (DMC, the guy who dies first)

Dante Al (Dante's inferno)

Death (Darksiders 2)

War (Darksiders 1)

Deadpool **(Hey there I am)**

Talion (Shadow of mordor)

(And more)

 **Badasses of Hack n slash!**


	15. Episode 11: Who screwed over Duke Nukem?

Episode 11: Who screwed Duke Nukem in the ass?!

IN THE LEGENDARY BAR OF BADASSES!

 **Suggested by: No one... no seriously that's the guest's name look at their review and tell me I'm lying, I dare you.**

 **Dragoritus: Ok who did this?! who the fuck did this shit?!**

 **Deadpool: What?**

 **Dragoritus: Why does this exist?! (SHOWED DUKE NUKEM FOREVER!)**

 **Death: AHHHHH MY EYES!  
**

 **Kratos: That hurt my balls just staring at it!**

 **Asura: I CAN'T HANDLE THE INTESE STUPIDITY!**

 **Master** **chief: At least my newer games actually have good aliens and funny ones like the grunt.**

* * *

 **Who the fuck did this to Duke Nukem? I've never played the originals but from I'm hearing they were A THOUSAND TIMES BETTER THAN THIS SHIT AND YOU KNOW WHAT?**

 **I BELIEVE IT! THIS WAS JUST AN INSULT TO MY VERY EYES, YOU CAN PICK UP SHIT AND USE IT AS A WEAPON... LITERALLY A FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT!**

 **THE PISSING GAMES TOO!**

 **IF I WANTED TO PLAY A PISSING CONTEST THEN I WOULD HAVE GONE TO MY OWN TOLIET INSTEAD OF... THIS!**

 **Duke seeing the mother alien with it's disgusting three tits and says "I'd still do it."**

 **OF FUCKING COURSE YOU WOULD DUKE! ONLY YOU WOULD SAY THAT TO ANY WOMAN MAY THEY BE HUMAN, MANBEARPIG, OR A FUCKING GIANT HENTAI BASED MONSTER!**

 **HELL SOUTH PARK STICK OF TRUTH DID ALMOST THE EXACT SAME THING BUT YOU KNOW WHAT IT DID MUCH BETTER THAN THIS!**

 **15 years waiting for this piece of shit... was it worth it you ask? HELL FUCKING NO!**

 **I'm still trying to move on from this shit!**

 **Deadpool: But isn't South park worse?**

 **Dragoritus: depends its with kids that act like FUCKING KIDS! This is a grown ass man ACTING LIKE THIS?!**

 **Death: The adults in South park were just as dumb.**

 **Dragoritus: NONONO! Randy is a fart martial artist and kicks mother fuckin ass! And there's Chef whose... a nazi zombie. Moving on.**

 **Duke: HEY DON'T TALK SHIT ABOUT MY GAME IT HAS...**

 **Dragoritus: dated, humor, dated graphics, dated everything! BUT WHAT BLOWS MY MIND IS STEAM'S RATING FOR THIS GAME...**

 **7/10**

 **I couldn't even finish the game because it felt so poor for a 15 year developed game... THAT MEANS THERE WAS NEXT TO NO PROGRESS FO DEVELOPMENT EVERYBODY!**

 **AND THIS ISN'T THE ONLY GEARBOX GAME THAT DISAPPOINTS, ALIENS COLONIAL MARINES I'M LOOKING AT YOU TOO! Atlas we still have the ONLY best Alien vs Predator game, and only GREAT Alien Isolation game.**

 **Duke: I'd still do that alien queen though.**

 **Dragoritus: ...You've got a sick mind Duke.**


	16. Episode 12: Why no Bayonetta X Death?

Episode 12: Why no Bayonetta and Death pairings?

 **(Deadpool- Hey Dragoritus why haven't you done the request yet?**

 **Dragoritus- Because its hard to do take a request when you know little to** **nothing about it.**

 **Deadpool- Yeah but didn't what's name tell you the victories of... Saitama the on punch man? Dude that name is fuckin awesome!**

 **Dragoritus- Yeah Over-Powered...**

 **Deadpool- Let's call him OP for short!**

 **Dragoritus- Yeah I know the request you've made but I can't take just your word on it, sorry it's a trust issue I have and plus I know nothing about One punch man other than it's a good anime, I need to see it for myself to know it myself, the premise sounds like he could take on Asura but again I know nothing about the series, that's why I do very few Dante from Devil may cry because I know very little about his franchise...**

 **Deadpool- But didn't say the DMC Dante sucks?**

 **Dragoritus- Yes I did I would say it again because that little prick is an abomination! I've seen comparisons to Old Dante and Emo Dante in terms of personality and I say I would love to play the Old Dante more than Emo Dante any day of the week.**

 **Deadpool- Cool story bro... tell it again.**

 **Dragoritus- The point is OP is it ok to call you OP? Anyway the point is I need more than what you've given me, I don't use wiki for things I don't know either because wiki isn't always right. I do apologize for not posting anything about that.**

 **Deadpool- Basically you just told OP to eat your shit.**

 **Dragoritus- Please don't start that I'm being 100% serious to OP.**

 **Deadpool (intense stare)- But you still basically told him to eat your shit!**

 **Dragoritus- OH FOR FUCK'S SAKE! I AM NOT YOUR THE CHARACTER THAT HAS A HABIT OF BREAKING THE FOURTH WALL I HAVE TO TYPE YOUR RESPONSES DUMBASS!**

 **Deadpool- And don't you ever forget it.**

 **Dragoritus- OH FUCK IT! Since I know nothing about Saitama the one punch man, I can't give him or his fancies I can't really take a chance of confusing myself and others. I've only heard the name and that it is a good anime but no details, and I'd rather see it for myself when I get the chance. But when I do I'll just have to wait and see if it's worth it, because I have no idea and I apologize to you OP for that.)**

Death was cleaning the counter as Bayonetta sat across and asked "So are you still dating Mistress Death?"

Death then replied "Umm... it's complicated."

 **last night**

Death was laying in bed with Mistress Death who asked "So when are we gonna fuck?"

Death the squinted his eyes and said "You don't have any organs at all."

Then Deadpool then kicked down the door and shouted "I STILL YA BABY!"

Mistress Death then stared at Deadpool and turned towards Death and said "I'm dumping you."

Deadpool then said "Oh come on enough Death we both you made that other Death to make me jealous."

Mistress Death then stated "He's not me he's a different Death from another franchise."

Deadpool then gasped and said "WHAAAAAA?!"

Death then sighed and kicked both of Mistress Death and Deadpool out o his apartment and shouted "GET OUT!"

 **Presently**

Death placed two glasses and poured alcohol into them and said "Yeah turns out that Mistress Death actually wants it but she has no reproductive organs, or any organs for that matter."

Bayonetta then took a sip of the beverage and said "You know a similar thing happened to me and Dante."

 **Two nights ago**

Dante was shirtless and sat on the couch and kicked his feet up on the table as a box of pizza flew through the window and landed on his lap as he shouted "THANKS PIZZA GUY!"

Then the Pizza guy replied "YOUR WELCOME!"

Dante opened the box and gave a big sniff of the pizza and said "MEAT LOVERS DELUX, EXTRA CHEESE, EXTRA MEAT, AND CHEESE FILLED CRUST MMMM."

Bayonetta had walked into the apartment with a bag of lollipops and said "Ugh, I can't believe they didn't have blueberry flavor... EEEEP!"

Dante then asked while his mouth full "Whats wrong?"

Bayonetta saw a cockroach crawling on the couch near Dante and began to spin around shooting in every direction in a frantic scream "ROACH! ROAAAAAACCH!"

But one of Bayonetta's bullets impacted Dante's pizza causing it to fall back into the box and made his eyes widened and shouted "NOOOOOOO MY PIZZAAAAA! WERE DONE YOU DON'T SHOOT THE PIZZA!"

Bayonetta then stopped and stared at Dante and said "This is my apartment! It's under my name... you get out!"

Dante then stuck his tongue out at Bayonetta who threw him out the window and shouted "AND DON'T COME BACK!"

Dante then shouted "HEY WHAT ABOUT MY PIZZA?!"

Then the box landed on his lap as Bayonetta shouted "TAKE YOUR DAMN PIZZA!"

Dante sighed in relief as the rest of his pizza was still good and started to finish it but then he bit onto something hard and spat out a bullet and shouted "NOOOOOOOOOOO!"

 **Presently**

Death nodded and said "Yeah Hey tell me why do your fans pair you up with Dante all the time?"

Bayonetta then stated "We were created by the same people with the same feel of gameplay, and according to some people we act alike."

Death then stared at Bayonetta and asked "What the fuck? So your fans have you paired with Dante because you two were created by the same people? Okay..."

Bayonetta then stated "Ehh I was ready to end that relationship anyway he was very fond of killing cock roaches."

Death then stated "I wouldn't I'm Death."

Bayonetta then placed her hand on her chin and asked "You hate cock roaches?"

Death then stated "I kill all life... but cock roaches I can't stand they can survive a nuclear blast and still live."

Bayonetta was silent and took another drink of her glass and said "Yep its official..."

Death then asked "What's a official?"

Bayonetta then tackled Death behind the counter as Death shouted "HEY WAIT A MINUTE WHAT ARE YOOOOOOOOOOU..."

Then the doors opened as Kratos walked in and wondered "Where's Death?"

Kratos looked over the counter and give a smirk and said "Oh that's cute... Bayonetta is on top of Death but... BY THE GODS, THAT HOT!"

Bayonetta then shouted "GET A MOVE ON BALDY!"

Kratos raised his hands and said "Eh no problem but... couldn't you two do it outside of my fucking bar?!"

Bayonetta then stated "I live dangerously!"

Death then asked "You know what... I'll go with."

Then Asura walked in and saw what was going on and said "I'd ship."

Then Link walked in as his eyes popped as Shao Kahn said "SEXUALITY!"


	17. Episode 13: Samurai Jack is back!

Episode 13: SAMURAI FUCKING JACK!

 **(Dragoritus- OP Your question about the Deadpool from the movies compared to the Deadpool in this episodic crossover I wouldn't be able to I still haven't seen the movies yet, no money you see.**

 **Deadpool- EXCUSES!**

 **Dragoritus- Is this necessary?**

 **Patrick Star- No this Patrick.**

 **Dragoritus- Where the fuck did you come from?**

 **Patrick- Bikini Bottom.**

 **Deadpool- Ok... Dragoritus you just couldn't let Death be with Death could you?**

 **Dragoritus- I ship Death and Bayonetta more than I ship Death and Death.**

 **Deadpool- OP man you've got to slow your ass down, posting two reviews on the same chapter holy shit! and the last one is long as hell.**

 **Dragoritus- Yeah... wait OP you know as much as I do about One punch man?**

 **Deadpool- What really?**

 **Dragoritus (eye twitches)- THEN WHY THE FUCK DID YOU ASK ME TO ADD ONE PUNCH MAN?**

 **Deadpool- TROLOLOLOLOLOLO!**

 **Dragoritus- YOUR NOT HELPING! OP I don't do anything about Death battle, this more like Mortal Kombat style roasting. This a comedy not a action show.**

 **Deadpool- SO YOU CAN SUCK IT BITCH!**

 **Dragoritus- Why do I have to type that again?**

 **Deadpool- Cause I break the fourth wall all day everyday!**

 **Dragoritus- Fine... but this episode is brought you by the word dickhead!**

 **Deadpool- Dude... just let me be the to joke about dicks, and pussy ok.**

 **Dragoritus- Fine... NOW WITH THE SHOW!**

* * *

IN THE LEGENDARY BAR OF BADASSES!

Death was still thinking over the sudden new relationship he's in with Bayonetta as a man in a white robe walked in with a Katana on his waits as Death noticed and greeted "HOLY SHIT... HEY EVERYBODY JACK IS BACK!"

 **(Samurai Jack- This is the best American made Cartoon ever thought of, the show itself uses it's art style, creativity, fighting, emotions to speak for itself, there is very little dialogue in it but when there is, it's either, funny, awesome, or spectacular! Samurai Jack is sent to the future after being outsmarted by Aku the shapeshifting master of Darkness and the Shogun of Sorrow! GO WATCH IT AND YOU'LL SEE WHAT I MEAN!)**

The Kratos kicked down the door to his office and asked "DID YOU SAY JACK?!"

Asura then bursted from the roof with Goku's shirt and said "JACK!"

Then War walked in and said "IT'S BEEN FAR TOO LONG!"

Jack gave a smile and said "Yes, it has been sometime hasn't it."

Then Link walked in and pointed both his hands at Jack and said "Hya..."

Jack then patted Link's head and said "It's good to see you too Link."

Deadpool then walked in and saw Jack and shouted "JACK YOUR BACK?! OH MY GOD LOOK AT YA YOU HAVEN'T CHANGE ONE BIT!"

Jack then chuckled and said "Your still as crazy as you were the last time I saw you."

Dragoritus then walked in and went on his knees and kissed the feet of Samurai jack and said "FOR YEARS I'VE WAITED, FOR FAR TOO LONG HAS CARTOON NETWORK HAS WITH HELD YOU FROM YOUR DESTINY... BUT NOW YOU'VE RETURNED!

Then the Powderpuff girls flew in and said "Hey guys we're back too!"

Dragoritus then stared and said "Wait.. Samurai Jack, SWAT Kats, now Powderpuff girls? HOLY SHIT CARTOON NETWORK IS GAINING IS BADASSERY BACK... JUST WAITNG FOR TEEN TITANS SEASON 6."

Then the Teen Titans go walked and as Robin said "That's not right!"

Dragoritus then stood tall above the Go team and said "YOUR NOT ALLOWED IN ANY OF MY EPISODES GET OUT!"

Samurai jack then asked "What happened to the Teen Titans?"

Dragoritus then stated "A lot has changed since your hiatus Jack... the Titans have new, writers and they suck."

Samurai Jack then said "Hmmm..."

Then Dragoritus then sighed and said "BUT IT'S OK CAUSE JACK IS BACK EVERYBODY! SPREAD THE WORD, SET THE BANNERS! THE RETURN OF JACK HAS COME!"


	18. Episode 14: Birthday surprise!

Episode 14: Birthday surprises!

 **(Hey real question, why isn't there any fan art of Death (Darksiders) and Bayonetta parings? Seriously they more comparable than Dante and Bayonetta in terms of backstory, tragic events. Both lost everything they once held close and dear, Bayonetta the Umbra witches and her mother, Death his entire race.** **)**

* * *

 **Dragoritus- Good evening... readers, Deadpool told me he had surprise for me at the Bar so I'm kinda of** **curious since my 20th birthday wasn't that long ago...**

 **OP man I like you... not that please no god don't take like that please!**

 **OMG Pterodactyls Best comment ever for the show episode (claps).**

 **So the badasses wanted to throw me a roasting party between me and Pretty Green, I feel like I'm on the Roast for Justin Bieber, though link is 1000 times better then that shit. No he's no person he's just a shit, nothing more nothing less just literally a shit.**

 **(Are there any Bieber fans left? Oh wait I forgot as long as Twilight still has fans the the possibility of Justin Bieber's fans being completely gone is -10 to 0)**

 **(Walks into bar)**

 **Dragoritus- Holy... shit.**

 **(HAPPY LATE BIRTHDAY DRAGOIRTUS YOU FUCKING ZELDA HATIN PRICK!)**

 **(To be perfectly clear I don't hate Legend of Zelda, but the fans are split between a mature themed no story and setting HELL BATMAN ARKHAM ASYLUM, CITY AND ORIGINS all had the mature them and setting plus were rated T for TEEN!)**

 **Deadpool (wearing a party hat)- SURPRISE MOTHERFUCKER!**

 **Kratos- IT'S TIME TO SEE YOU ROAST PRETTY GREEN!**

 **Death- Yeah, or you can have War do it you know he's more comparable to Link.**

 **Dragoritus- Fuck... yes!**

 **Link- Hya?**

 **Death- Stop it starting shit me! I don't make your games look bad and I don't make them look good either, the games I'm in are literally HOMEAGE TO YOUR SERIES SO SUCK IT PRETTY GREEN!**

 **Dragoritus- well... I was gonna be the one to roast the shit out go him... Now it's my turn!**

 **Shao Kahn walks in and announces "Dragoritus vs Link, round one... ROAST!"**

 **Dragoritus- Ladies first...**

 **Link (stares)- Hya!**

 **Dragoritus- Oh your guy? Then your not the princess?**

 **Link- Hya!**

 **Dragoritus- Oh so your saying your the hero of time and Zelda is not the main protagonist but she's the titular character?**

 **Link (nods)**

 **Dragoritus- WHOSE FUCKIN IDEA WAS THAT?! YOUR GAMES ARE CALLED, LEGEND OF FUCKIN ZELDA! NOT LEGEND OF PRETTY GREEN OR LINK!**

 **Link- Hya!**

 **Dragoritus- Yeah I'm a hater but not without reason, I respect your games influence for other games, I would go back and bare my teeth to hear your... (sighs) Fairy again in Ocarina of time, but seeing that your did a complete 180 on your theme and settings, I don't want to started out like this, mature dark theme, WAY MORE MATURE DARK THEME, mature Dark theme again, and then KIDDDY SHIT, KIDDY SHIT, KIDDY SHIT! WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED BETWEEN TWILIGHT PRINCESS AND WIND WAKER?!**

 **Link- Hya!**

 **Dragoritus- A DIFFERENT TIMELINE? ARE FUCKIN SERIOUS?! LOOK AT YOUR TIMELINE!**

 **Link- ...**

 **Dragoritus- I'll tell you this, your timeline is chronologically fucking itself!**

 **War- Ouch...**

 **Shao Kahn- Winner Dragoritus!**

 **Dragoritus- F*** off I'm not done yet!**

 **Death- Oh shit...**

 **Dragoritus- You may have a beautiful way to call your horse, but this is THE LEGENDARY BAR OF BADASSES NOT BAR FOR BEAUTIFUL ASSES... Though Bayonetta's ass is...**

 **Death- Shut your noise hole!**

 **Dragoritus- Ok... (whispers) DAT ASS THO!**

 **Death- That's it! Your dead!**

 **Dragoritus- So says the one I paired her with in Bayonetta a journey with Death crossover and might I add she's already fucked you... twice if you count this show!**

 **Death- ...Very well... not until someone makes a Bayonetta X Death pairing art on Deviantart then you'll live!**

 **Dragoritus- Oh boy can't wait to see that, wait... will I get to live long enough to see it?**

 **Death- No.**

 **Dragoritus- Damn!**

 **Shao Kahn- Death wins!**

 **Dragoritus- I never win at Roast Kombat! anyone good at fan art and can make Death and Bayonetta pairings, because all I have ever seen thats a pairing from Bayonetta (series) and Darksiders is War and Bayonetta, which I am happy to see at least 1 thing, but war and jeanne are a better choice, not only because of their hair "fabulous" color but their personalities match. Well I guess that's all of n...**

 **Sasuke Uchiha- Where can I find power?**

 **Kratos- ...change of plans boys and girls I'm tearing this asshole a new one!**

 **Sasuke- You can't beat and Uchiha go home!**

 **Kratos (crosses his arms)- You can beat a god!**

 **EVERYBODY- OHHHHHHHHHHHH! OH SHIT THAT WAS BRUTAL!**

 **Sasuke- At least I can keep my daughter alive!**

 **Dragoritus- Damn...**

 **Kratos- Good point... but at least my daughter knows I loved her since the day she was born!**

 **Dragoritus- Damn!**

 **Sasuke- I've got Sharingan! (Did I spell that right?)**

 **Kratos- And somehow you still couldn't keep a blond boy from being your friend.**

 **Shao Kahn- DAMN!**

 **Dragoritus- ALRIGHT YOU TWO! WE KNOW YOUR BOTH BADASSES OK?**

 **Deadpool- TEEN TITANS GO!**

 **Dragoritus (stand over Deadpool)- you mean from the original series when they have to face someone or the shit of the show?**

 **Deadpool- can we talk shit the shitty show?**

 **Dragoritus- That I can do, but those maggots will never come back on this show again!**

* * *

 **Teen titans go... ffffffuck yourself!**

 **seriously what the fuck happened here?!**

 **Duke Nukem was one thing but taking my childhood favoritet teenage superhero show and turn it into... shit! Is in my book, a sin of childhood!**

 **At least Krome** **studios knew that Spyro had to have a reboot and made the Legend of Spyro, which has a great story as it's own.**

 **I have not even watched a full episode, but the one that caught my attention was the titled "THE FOURTH WALL!"**

 **That one alone literally pissed me off, because I loved the old show and I kinda feel bad that the writers of this piece of shit actually insulted their own show's fans. where's the logic in that?**

 **Teen Titans go... is literally a shit that Duke Nukem forever use as a throwing weapon!**

 **Deadpool- Oh shit Dragoritus you've forgotten about kingdom hearts 3!**

 **Dragoritus- I'm sorry but I lost faith in that after so many games that made me felt it was being milked to death, plus I don't know anyone who can replace Robin Williams. (RIP man) as Genie cause he was the GENIE IN THE LAMP! And I don't know if they can pull it off with out him...**

 **Deadpool- That got depressing real fast right readers?!**

 **Dragoritus- Your the one who breaks the fourth wall it's not like I can make just say, hey he would be better not breaking the fourth wall, because we've seen how that ended!**

 **Deadpool- Don't talk about that garbage!**


	19. Episode 15 (teaser)

The Hamill Effect Teaser

 **LONG AGO IN MANY DIFFERENT GALAXYS FAR FAR AWAY FROM HERE... MARK HAMILL IS LUKE SKYWALKER, AND TH JOKER,THE WATCHER, THE FIRST PURPLE DRAGON MALEFOR, AND THE SKELETON KING... WHAT YOU ARE ABOUT TO SEE... IS MAKR HAMILL EFFECT!**

 **"WHY SO SERIOUS?"**

 **Dragoritus- cut! No Mark that's Ledger's Joker I need yours!**

 **Mark Hamill- Oh right... my the force be with you.**

 **Deadpool- Ok, change "the force" to my penis.**

 **Mark- May my penis be with you... THAT'S DISGUSTING!**

 **Dragoritus- TOLD YA MY COUSIN KNOWS HOW TO MAKE STAR WARS FUNNY!**

 **Deadpool- HAHAHAHAHAHA! THAT WAS GREAT! LOL #FUCKKONAMI!**

 **Darth Vader- Join us... and together we'll see how the Hamill effect works!**

 **Dragoritus- Hehehe Hey Vader? Guess what.**

 **Darth Vader- What?**

 **Dragoritus- JAR JAR BINKS BWAHAHAHAHAHA!**

 **Darth Vader- NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!**

 **EPISODE 15: The Hamill effect!**

 **Coming soon on a computer monitor near you... or in front you.**


	20. Episode 15: The Hamill effect!

Episode 15: The Hamill effect

 **(Dragoritus- OP I have a better name for a Death and Bayonetta pairing, BayonDeath!**

 **Deadpool- That's good with me as long as Miss Death stays with me.**

 **Dragoritus- Oh come on you know it was funny!**

 **Deadpool- Confusing as hell!**

 **Dragoirtus- Good! So if anyone has a problem with a Death and Bayoentta pairing warning there will lemons!**

 **Deadpool- WOAH WE'RE DOING A PRONO NOW?! I FORGOT TO BRING MY SEXY UNDERWEAR!**

 **Dragoritus- Sort of... but it's not like I haven't made lemons before.**

 **Deadpool- Say wha?**

 **Dragoritus- The following stories have Lemons, The Riders of the Balance a Darksiders and Injustice gods among us crossover has the most, Bayonetta a Journey with Death has only one but it Bayonetta fucking Death! come on you can't say that isn't hot!**

 **Deadpool- ... You've got issues...**

 **Dragoritus- Oh so says the one who tries to stick his dick in a corps!**

 **Deadpool- Hey you seen the movie yet then ha!**

 **Dragoritus- Then how did you say that since I'm the typing your quotes now?**

 **Deadpool- (Gasp) You saw it didn't you!**

 **Dragoritus- Surprise... Yeah I j** **ust saw it two days ago, it was as just how a Deadpool movie should be! Although I felt it was shorter than I was expecting... but well worth it! and you had so much fucking sex in this movie oh my god!**

 **Deadpool- What can I say the bitches love the pool of dead.**

 **Dragoritus- You see readers, sex is ok...**

 **Deadpool- so says the virgin writer!**

 **Death- Wait... your a virgin and twenty years old?**

 **Yoda- Clouded by the darkish this one is...**

 **Dragoritus- Yoda... your the to talk your like what 600 year old? Any who yes I'm a virgin... come on bring in the jokes, the roasts the insults!**

 **Asura- NO ONE GIVES A FUCK!**

 **Dragoitus- Ok... now on with the show!)**

War was cleaning a glass but his prosthetic hand broke the glass and he shouted "MOTHER FUCKER!"

War was being watched by both Kratos and Asura as Asura was handed ten dollars as Kratos aid "Could you find me camera this shit is funny!"

Asura then asked "But shouldn't we go get Death?"

Kratos then stated "I would't if I were you I taught him how to please women..."

 **Death's apartment (Warning lemons)**

(X! Circle! Triangle! Triangle! Spin the stick! Spin the other stick! Square! Triangle!)

Bayonetta "Not bad..."

(Spread the butt cheeks! IMMEASURABLE... POWERRRRRRRRRRR!)

 **(Deadpool- The fuck did I just read? was this a sex scene?!**

 **Dragoritus- Hey if you didn't get two part reference then I'll tell ya! God of war sex minigame! and the play through of Asura's wrath by Yovideogames!)**

 **The bar**

Asura palmed his faced and said "You taught him the sex minigame?"

Kratos then nodded and said "Yeah... he's eating Bayoentta who uses CLIMAX!"

Then Bayonetta scream of pleasure was heard as War waved his hands and said "PAY UP BITCHES!"

Kratos then gave War ten dollars as Asura gave the money Kratos gave him for a cheap camera as Kratos shouted "HEY THAT WAS MINE!"

Asura then stated "But it's your fault for giving me the money stupid!"

Then a man with a golden beard walked in the bar wearing his white robes as Kratos asked "ZEUS?!"

Then Asura stated "No that's father..."

 **(FMAB Father- he who swallowed god! the dwarf in the flask! the homunculus, our father, this guy is without a doubt a badass he literally swallowed god and became him for a short moment of he failed but the fact he actually** **succeeded damn.)**

Then Father calmly said "I'm not Zeus I am Father."

Asura then pointed out "THAT MAKES NO FUCKING SENSE!"

Then a man in black walked in with yellow glowing eyes and a pipe in his mouth with fire emerging from his body as Kratos palmed his faced and said "No not you..."

 **(KND Father- he who is father to the delightful children from down the lane, uncle to Nigel Uno, and brother to Numbah zero! Son to Grandfather, this guy's voice when you first see him and hear him you knew he meant business... even though he's trying to make children as... slaves to their parents... WTF dude?)**

Both fathers stared at each other as KND Father placed his hand on FMAB Father's shoulder and said "I was wondering where you were!"

Then FMAB Father stated "Yeah I was slightly late... hows the kids?"

Then KND Father stated "They're delightful. Yours?"

Then FMAB Father stated "Uhhh lets see... one is always hungry, sleepy, greedy, angry, prideful, jealous, and slutty.."

Then Kratos asked "What the fuck?"

Then a man who was like KND father floated in but was much taller and older shouted "WHERE'S MY MONTY!"

 **(Grandfather- he who is... oh fuck its already as it is!)**

Then Joker walked in and laughed "HAHAHAHA! SO MANY FATHERS IN ONE ROOM!"

 **(Joker- the greatest villain of all time, period! No one can match him in villainy, he can chaos and terror with mere presence alone, he's unpredictable, insane, money is worth nothing to him. He's batman's #1 fan, he's voiced by Mark Hamill (Luke skywalker) and has almost killed Joason Todd whose the second Robin to Batman which made a major impact on him to become the Red hood.)**

Joker then sat down and waited for something or someone as the Watcher floated in and sat next to him, then a cybernetic skeleton walked in with a staff and black cape. Asura then said "Oh its the Skeleton king..."

 **(Skeleton king- This mother fucker is one of my favorite villains that Mark has ever voiced, of course there's the Joker is always to notch, but the Skeleton king is as my choice for mark's secdon best voiced villain.)**

Then a man with a pointy beard walked in with clothes that seemed to be fire like and sat down with Joker, Watcher and the Skeleton king as War said "Fire lord Ozai..."

 **(Fire lord Ozai- from Avatar the last airbender this guy was the only person I say from the show who can fuckin use fire bending to fly! Sure Azula used hers to propel herself but her father Ozai fuckin flew! with fire!)**

Then mark Hamill walked in and sat down and they all said with the exact same voice "THE HAMILL EFFECT!"


	21. MANLY MEN! DOING MANLY THINGS!

**Dragoritus- Readers! sorry to bust your balls but this isn't a new episode however I have but guess what? I found a webcomic not one week ago called Manly men doing manly things, and you know what I just now realized It feels almost like the Bar of badasses...**

 **Deadpool- Except it's been around longer than the Bar.**

 **Dragoritus- Never mind that! Anyone who loves this story I recommend you the comic Manly men doing manly things, it has so many manly men, like Kratos, Terminator,** **Wolverine. Even Pokemon are manly in this comic.**

 **Deadpool- Pokemon... manly?**

 **Dragoritus- You'd be surprised how manly the Gyarados is in this comic. Any way this comic basically is the Bar of badasses but with pictures...**

 **Deadpool (Sarcasm)- Really? I'd figured a comic was something see on TV.**

 **Dragoritus- And Sgt. M00re, I haven't played all the wolfenstein games I know that BJ loves killing Nazis, and screwing that girl in the New order. So he's acceptable Doom I've sadly never played but also never heard anything about it until l Bethesda announced their Doom game and saw the gameplay. So I can't really use that.**

 **Deadpool- But what about Dracula from Castlevanis lords of shadows, damn a kick ass name.**

 **Dragoritus- I was never drawn to it, I could decide my friends at the time were divided on it, one said it wasn't great but no details, another said it was awesome and that friend usually when I play the games he likes always suck to me. He likes the game Too human which was a bad game.**

 **So the characters other than BJ I can't place them here, I haven't played those games (yet) I can't put them in this story until I personally play them and get to see with my own eyes how it's badass.**

 **Deadpool- You literally do so in God of war 3.**

 **Dragoritus- Yeah that's the best thing from that series is the 3rd game's mechanic of putting you in Kratos' POV. (Point of view)**

 **So anyone who like this story get your ass over to the comic just type "Manly men doing manly things" in Google if you use that if you don't then... just type it. the website is called:**

 **.com**

 **ENJOY MOTHER FUCKERS!**


	22. Episode 16: Time and Death

Episode 16: Time and Death

 **(Dragoritus- isn't that Manly men doing manly things just an awesome webcomic?**

 **Deadpool- the website didn't go** **through.**

 **Dragoritus- Wha? SON OF BITCH!**

 **Deadpool- HAHAHAHAHA!**

 **Dragoritus- Rage... hate, anger vengeance. the three things that makes up God of war, and Asura's wrath.**

 **Deadpool- Mr. Spawn!**

 **Spawn- Deadpool?**

 **Deadpool- is it true you killed god took his place in your comics?**

 **Spawn- Yeah...**

 **Death- I was wondering why she was dead...**

 **Dragoritus- Woah, woah, woah... God is a woman in your series Spawn?**

 **Spawn- Yeah.**

 **Deadpool- Oooooooh I know where this going I the title ahahahaha!**

 **Death- What is he talking about?**

 **Dragoritus- We're having a Queen gamer woman...**

 **Death- Bayonetta.**

 **Spawn- How would you know?**

 **Death- ask Dragoritus.**

 **Dragoritus- Spoiler!**

 **Deadpool- Then don't make it obvious!**

 **Dragoritus- I'm a simple man...**

 **Bayonetta- With no expeirence with the ladies.**

 **(Dragoritus is forever alone...)**

 **Dragoritus- Let's just get on with the fuckin show assholes!)**

IN A JEWLERY STORY NOT FAR FROM ZA LEGENDARY BAR OF BADASSES!

Death had bought something and went over to his job and saw Link crossing his arms with a woman next him and shouted "HYAAAA!"

Death palming with both hands (That's serious) and said "Why are you having Zelda challenge, Bayonetta for dominance? No offense Princess but your FUCKING PRINCESS!"

Zelda then said "Yeah I'm of it myself."

 **(Zelda- the titular character but not the progtagonist of the Legend of Zelda games... she's a recurring damsel in distress. But looks pretty)**

 **Deadpool- Hold up why does Zelda get to actually speak?**

 **Dragoritus- Tri-force of wisdom duuhh.**

 **Deadpool- You don't how she sounds like in the game do you?**

 **Dragoritus- Shhhh they don't need to know that... FUCK YOU GOT AGAIN!)**

Death then sighed and said "As it so happens I'm going to ask Bayonetta something today."

Zelda then saw Death hiding his left hand and placed his hands on her face and asked "Oh my god! Your proposing to Bayonetta?"

Link then eyed Zelda and said "HYAAAA?"

Zelda then said sarcastically "Oh do I? maybe you should have proposed twenty years ago."

Death then said "Don't tell anyone!"

Then Kratos walked out ignoring everything but outside he changed into... ALEX MERCER!

 **(Alex Mercer- A human bioweapon that can change into anyone he absorbs or consumes... disgusting! He was a protagonist but became a bad guy after starting another bio-hazard virus that fucked New York up!)**

Alex then placed a cell phone on his ear and said "Yeah, he's... well... Just get to the bar and you'll see. No he's cheat on you. No he's not talking to Jeanne, Zelda is talking to him but... Hello? uhhh Bayonetta? Oh shit..."

Then Alex turner to see Bayonetta behind him and shouted "HOLY SHIT! YOU NEARLY SACRED THE SHIT OF ME!"

Bayonetta then asked "Where is he?"

Alex then pointed at the bar as Bayonetta walked in and saw Death punching Link in the face shouting "FUCK YOU PRETTY GREEN YOU DON'T INSULT MY GIRL IN FRONT OF ME AND GET AWAY WITH!"

Zelda then walked toward Bayonetta and said "I love it when he kicks his ass, Link still propose to me."

Bayonetta then squinted her eyes and said sarcastically "Your a princess, and you wonder why he can't?"

Zelda then said "Ehhhh he can get used the life."

Death then dragged Link out of the bar and shouted "I'm kicking your ass again!"

Death then threw Link into a street light as Alex widened his eyes and said "Ohhhhhhhhhh shiiiiiiiiiiiit..."

Death then pulled out his gun and shouted "COME GET UP!"

Link stood up but Death shot his leg and said "THAT'S YOU TAKING FALL DAMAGE!"

Link stood back up as another bullet hit him as death shouted "THAT'S YOU NOT HAVING VOICE ACTOR!"

Link then just sat there as Death then shot his face and said "AND THAT! Is because your Timeline sucks!"

Bayonetta then patted Zelda's shoulder and said "He'll be back remember? Infinite respawns."

Zelda then walked off and said "Yeah I'm out of here for now."

Bayonetta then turned towards Death who was on his knee opening a ring case and revealed a skull ring and said "You what this means."

 **Gothic church**

Bayonetta was wearing a black wedding dress as the priest Rodin asked "Can you satisfy the Lady of Time's needs?"

Death then said "Of course."

The Rodin asked Bayoentta "Can ya keep up with the Reaper of souls?"

Bayonetta Then smirked and said "Like you can?"

Rodin then said "Then I now pronounce you two... Husband and Wife! KISS THE MOTHER FUCKING BRIDE MAN!"

Death then glared and at the camera as it cut out to Deadpool who got in the way "HEY AM I BLOCKING YOUR VIEW OF DEATH'S FACE? AM I?! AM I REALLY? OH THEIR DONE!"

Death had his mask back on as Kratos shouted "CAN YOU FUCK LIKE ME?"

Death then countered "Can you still have kids?"

Kratos then silently sat back down as Asura then shouted "I'D SHIIIIIIIIP IT!"

Then Mirtha pulled her father down and said "Please dad, your embarrassing me..."

The Emo Dante looked at Mirtha and growled but then saw Asura grtting his teeth with enlarged white glowing eyes and shouted "DON'T YOU FUCKIN DARE!"

Emo Dante then smacked Mithra's ass and said "I don't dare I do!"

Asura then punched Emo Dante into nothing and said "DON'T WITH YOUR DICK!"

 **(Deadpool- Yeah Dragoritus!**

 **Dragoritus- Shut up!)**


	23. Episode 17: There was no better idea

Episode 17: There was no better idea so...

 **(Dragoritus- We're gonna roast the shit out of some shows and companies that I think are stupid and a insult to my childhood.**

 **Deadpool- ... Are fucking serious?**

 **Dragoritus- What?**

 **Deadpool- You pulled a fast one on Bayonetta and Death, a wedding?**

 **Dragoritus- Time is Death's bride. which also... I never said in how long each episode is in between each other.**

 **Deadpool- Your gonna have a lot of BayoDante fans after that just to insult the idea.**

 **Death- Bring it bitches!**

 **Dragoritus- Death can handle it... he's Death.**

 **Dracula- He's blobby?**

 **Dragoritus- That's why I still care for you, because of the fact that the creator of Samurai jack, and Dexter's Laboratory directed your movies.**

 **Deadpool- Can I say this time?**

 **Dragoritus- Go crazy.**

 **Deadpool- I'M NOT SATISFIED DISNEY!**

 **Mickey mouse- Hohohohi no you didn't!**

 **Dragoritus- Mickey the only time when your a badass is in KINGDOM HEARTS!**

 **Mickey- No...**

 **Dragoritus- Gargoyles what happened to that?**

 **Mickey- It wasn't kid friendly...**

 **Dragoritus- And yet you had it on your fucking channel?! PLUS JETIX DIES BECAUSE OF YOUR DISNEY STUPIDITY!**

 **Mickey- Not kid friendly either...**

 **Dragoritus- I feel bad for Marvel, you know why?**

 **Deadpool- Ohhh kill em!**

 **Dragoritus- BECAUSE THEY ARE LOWERED THE STANDARDS YOU HAVE TO HAVE A PG 13 RATING! WHILE DEADPOOL GOT A R!**

 **Mickey- We don't own Deadpool movies rights...**

 **Dragoritus- GOOD! Avengers 1 was great it had a lot of hype and it delivered! Avengers 2, I was led to believe Ultron was going to be a scary ass mother fucking robot with issues with Strings... most of the quotes from that movies that were good was when Ulrton was talking seriously.**

 **Mickey- We couldn't make it to serious...**

 **Dragoritus- Yeah I got that from Guardians of galaxy with a Raccoon riding a tree! You lowering the standards is just killing your reputation for.. oh I don't know... ANIMATED MOVIES!**

 **Mickey- Frozen.**

 **Dragoritus- Granted, that Frozen was by far the... how do I put this? Ah yes Frozen showed that you "were" growing out of the 'HEY I JUST MET YOU AND THIS IS CRAZY BUT KISS ME BABY!"**

 **Mickey- Lion king was like that.**

 **Deadpool- No they were an arranged marriage remember what Zazu said? "One day you two will be married!"**

 **Mickey- Oh you remember that...**

 **Dragoritus- Yeah get out of here! Next is... NOOOO!**

 **Deadpool- (Chcukles) What? ahahahaha!**

 **Dragoritus- Someone wrote on my list Teen Titans go... FUCK YOU MAN!**

 **Deadpool- BWHAHAHAHAHAHA!**

 **Teeny Wobin- Hey I still have a bone to pick with you!**

 **Dragoritus- Oh by all means pick wisely!**

 **Teeny wobin- Your not a hater because we are meant for kids.**

 **Dragoritus- EVEN MY NIECES AND NEPHEW HATE YOUR SHOW! AND I'M PROUD TO HAVE MAKE THEM WATCH THE ORIGINAL TEEN TITANS! FUCK YEAH!**

 **Deadpool (Claps)- THAT WAS AWESOME!**

 **Teeny Wobin- But we can fight crime.**

 **Dragoritus- Aqualad roasted your ass and your still gonna say that? Have you forgotten, you make... fart jokes and shit jokes?**

 **Teeny Wobin- Hey it's dooky jokes!**

 **Draw the destroyer- Your an imbecile!**

 **Dragoritus- Thank you Drax, but yeah your show insulted not only my childhood cartoon but your own fans!**

 **Deadpool- Now that's fucked up!**

 **Dragoritus- I could keep bashing ya but I hate having you on my show so... GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE!**

 **(Gone)**

 **Deadpool- Damn... talk about being scared shitless you literally scared the shit out of him!**

 **Dragoritus- Good! Next is... Nickelodeon, your ass is toast! You made Spongebob uncool! He was your baby! and you killed your baby! Plus the Legend of Korra no longer being aired? Your begging to die.**

 **Deadpool- Plus when is Invader Zim coming back?**

 **Gir (Love this guy)- WE'RE DOOMED! DOOMDOOMDOOMED!**

 **Dragoritus- If only... Next is... Cartoon network, You may have gaining your badassery, but I'm not fully grateful until, some shows you started get finished, Powerpuff girls is a good start, Samurai Jack and it's being even more dark excellent! But Teen Titans Go shit themselves! No! Adventure time is... eehhhhhh ok.**

 **Deadpool- Their quotes are even unbearable!**

 **Dragoritu-The only good thing from adventure was great was the Lich, which I think was the only good villain from that show. Ice King is a Bowser wannabe, trying to kidnap the princess and always fails! No scratch that the entire show is a Mario bros wannabe!**

 **Deadpool- How?**

 **Dragoritus- Two brothers, both look different but they know they're gonna save the day, Fin is Mario, as Jake is Luigi, plus the ice king and just the gumball kingdom sounds like a ripoff of the Mushroom kingdom!**

 **Deadpool- Damn... what about regular show.**

 **Dragoritus- That's a good show not great but good, the Death in that show has only one huge arm ahahahaha! HE BE MASTURBATING TOO MUCH TO SKIPS' SOUL!**

 **Death- Not me right?**

 **Dragoritus- No a less badass Death. What else do I have to complain about?**

 **Deadpool- I don't know.**

 **Dragoritus- I guess that a bleblebleblebleblebleeeeh That's all folks!**


	24. Episode 18: Highschool?

Highschool for Badasses Teaser trailer

 **Main Characters (Teachers):**

 **Death the cool Home room teacher (Darksiders 2)**

 **Asura the daring gym teacher (Asura's wrath)**

 **Jeanne the sexy history teacher (Bayonetta 1 & 2)**

 **Cereza AKA Bayonetta the mysterious dancing teacher (Bayonetta 1 & 2)**

 **Kratos the angry janitor (God of war all of them)**

 **Augus the awesome headmaster (Asura's wrath)**

 **Deadpool the loud mouth culinary arts teacher (Deadpool comics and game)**

Opening:

Flyers by Bradio (Also known as Death Parade opening)

The scene begins with a man's gloved hand that appeared to a skeleton as the camera zooms back to see Death with a serious look pointing towards the air Bayonetta with a smile pointing towards left below Death, Kratos with an angry expression below Bayonetta pointing to the right, as Augus laid on his said below Kratos pointing towards Death with his other hand pointing right with a smirk.

Behind and below Bayonetta was Jeanne with a happy grin pointing both hands in the same direction as Bayonetta with one point downward towards Asura who had his hand on his cheek pointing up unamused. And at the center was Deadpool with his left hand on a skull with his mask on and waved towards the camera.

The scene changes to Death selecting a topic with Bayonetta sitting as his desk with a smile, as the scene changes again to Deadpool and Jeanne talking about their classrooms.

The scene changes again to pencils, dodgeballs, and miniature globe of the Earth, as the scene changes once again to Death with his arms out with Bayonetta on his left and Deadpool on his right.

The scene changes to Bayonetta swinging by in gym with Augus behind further away nearly slipping off as Deadpool was behind Bayonetta closer towards the camera with an excited look as Kratos swag by unamused. The scene changes to Deadpool in dance class dancing while Asura had his hands together as if he was praying while eight arms were behind him as if they were coming from his body.

Then Asura smiled and pointed one hand up and the other down as Bayonetta appeared below his left, Jeanne his upper left, Deadpool his lower right and Mithra his upper right.

The scene changes to a apple exploding as Zelda shaking her ass from left to right as Link has his mouth wide open with blood gushing out his nose, while the scene changes again to Kratos tearing his shirt off showing his muscular body and scare as Zeus appears in front of him giving a snicker.

Then scene changes to Deadpool in a tuxedo and quckly tears it off as his span with his head looking up and amor out as a school appeared behind him with Death and Bayonetta dancing on the roof.

The scene changes to Bayonetta bending toward her left facing the camera with her thumb near her lips as Death, Zelda and Kratos did the same behind her in that order.

The scene changes to Kratos unmanned as he is washing the windows as Zelda dances with Link falling back from the lack of blood and Augus dancing with the two very sexy ladies during Asura's wrath as his side.

The scene changes again to Jeanne showing the students which consist of: Sora, Link, Zelda, and many other recognizable characters.

the scene then changes to Asura with his arm around Kratos whose arm was around Death whose arm was also around Augus and vice versa, while Asura gave a smirk Kratos was angry, Death wearing his mask and Augus having a huge happy grin.

Then the scene changes to Deadpool who wore a dress and sang as his arm sore up while the scene changes again to Asura, Death, Kratos and Augus huddled together like a football team and began to plan their move against the opposing team, which had Emo dante, Dante Al, Link and Chakravartin.

The scene finally ends with the entire school with the the group pose that that started this entire opening as the music stops and Deadpool asked "HOW'S THAT READERS?!"

* * *

Meanwhile in the Legendary Bar of Badasses

Bayonetta, Death, Kratos, Asura, Augus and War just saw the teaser for the School for badasses as Augus asked "HELL YEAH!"

 **(Augus- The teacher of Asura, he craves fighting and** **beautiful woman who can fight by his side, he rarely uses his sword he's only been known to use it twice, once for Deus and the other which did not help him win, Asura. This guy's sword is the longest in gaming history sorry Sepiroth but you your pales in comparison it's so long it can be stabbed into the Earth and reach the other side without breaking.**

 **Deadpool- Hehehe! That's what she said!**

 **Dragoritus- ...You've got me there.)**

Death then asked "And why are we being teachers again?"

Deadpool then stated "Because the author wants the kids to know some shit!"

Kratos then asked "Why am I a janitor?"

Deadpool then stated "Cause your always cranky!"

Bayonetta then said "I Like my job as the dance teacher."

Deadpool then shouted "SEE SHE'S MORE OF A MAN THEN YOUR GUYS!"

Death sighed as Augus said "I'm in period!"

Asura then asked "Wait... why was my daughter there?"

Deadpool then said "Uhhhh... ask Dragoritus."

Dragoritus- HEY DON'T INTO... this...

Asura cracked his neck and knuckles as dragoritus then gulped and said "Oh shit..."

 **Fangirl mountains**

The Dovakiin was walking with lovely lovely nerdy girls under his arms when he heard a loud yell all the way from that bar "OWWWWWWWWWWWW!"

Dovakiin then said "What a mighty thu'um..."


	25. Episode 19:Happy Halloween I mean Easter

Episode 19: I love holidays!

 **(Dragoritus- Hey how did you readers like or dislike the trailer?**

 **Deadpool- Primus1661 has** **reviewed.**

 **Dragoritus- ooooh yes let me read it! Doom guy...**

 **Draw the destroyer- Your an imbecile...**

 **Dragoritus- Primus, Prime, Primy, brother of Unicron, Can I ask you to read your request and now go to Sgt. M00re's request.**

 **Deadpool- Dragoritus can't add Doom guy who is also known as the Doom Marine yet, seeing that he's never personally played Doom. SHAME ON YOU DRAGORITUS!**

 **Dragoritus- What? I'm sorry I don't know anything about Doom guy because I've never played any of the doom games. I never understood weather it was a dark fantasy or sci-fi game seeing that there are demons in it.**

 **Augus- Are we still gonna have that show?**

 **Dragoritus- the Highschool for badasses? Yes it won't be a sequel to this more like a... spin off.**

 **Deadpool- GAY!**

 **Dragoritus- Yeah with I am happy my decision.**

 **Deadpool- Damn you!**

 **Dragoritus- Trolololololohohohohohoooo! Pay back bitch!**

 **Deadpool- shit head!**

 **Dragoritus- Cancer dick!**

 **Deadpool- Ok that was uncalled for!**

 **Dragoritus- Butthurrrrrt!**

 **Godzilla- Guess who motherfuckers!**

 **Dragoritus- Hail to the king, hail to the one! Kneel to the crown! Stand in the sun!**

 **Spawn- Why... just why?**

 **Dragoritus- aren't you here at the bar?**

 **Spawn- Just because I'm not physically there doesn't mean I'm not I'm omnipotent.**

 **Dragoritus- Oh yeah your god in your universe. My bad.**

 **Sora- Anyone see Riku?**

 **Deadpool- Your shittin me?**

 **Roxas- Why am I here?**

 **Dragoritus- Yeah why are you here?**

 **Axel- Roxas!**

 **Dragoritus- WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON?!**

 **Riku- Sora?**

 **Sora- Riku?**

 **Dragoritus- Oh yeaaaaayy bromance... now... KISS!**

 **Kairi- What was that?**

 **Dragoritus- Oh you want them both!**

 **Edward Elric- This isn't the portal of truth...**

 **Deadpool- No shit... ohhh your tiny your cute!**

 **Ed (Angry face)- What was that punk?**

 **Deadpool- Why you so tiny?**

 **Ed (punches Deadpool)- DON'T CALL ME TINY!  
**

 **Dragoritus- Holy shit the shrimp is gone mad!**

 **Ed (Snorts like a bull)- WHAT WAS THAT?**

 **Dragoritus (rewrite)- I SAID... THE SHRIMP HAS GONE MAD!**

 **Ed (charges)- AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!**

 **(Hits Death)**

 **Death (Cold stare)- You hit me?**

 **Ed- YOU BASTARD GET OVER!**

 **Death (grabs Ed)- YOU HIT ME?!**

 **Ed- YEAH WHAT ARE GONNA...**

 **(Death leaves Ed corps with rest of the shrimps)**

 **Dragoritus- Damn... you didn't need to go that far Death.**

 **Death- Shut up!**

 **Dragoritus- Ok... NOW WITH SHOW!**

IN THE LEGENDARY BADASSES!

Asura, was in a boxing match with Augus who shouted "IS THAT ALL YOU GOT ASURA?! YOU KILLED CHAKRAVARTIN'S ASS AND YOU STILL CAN'T WIN A SIMPLE..."

(It was at this moment that Augus knew... he fucked up)

Asura punched Augus' face breaking his nose and shouted "SHUT UP!"

Then a skeleton walked in with blackened white suit and asked politely "Excuse me where can I find the Legendary Bar of Badasses?"

 **(Jack Skelington- When Holloween has no mascot he's the closest thing for he is the PUMPKIN KING! When you can take another's holiday and make it your own and fix it all within one night Jack Skelington is your man... or uhhh skeleton...)**

Asura then point out the door and said "Next door on left!"

Jack then waved and said "Thanks!"

Augus then asked "Wasn't that Grim's brother?"

Asura then said "If you include the webcomic Grim tales then yes."

Jack walked in and saw his brother Grim and said "GRIM HOW LONG HAS IT BEEN?!"

Grim then said "Oh... not since Jr and Minie's incident."

 **(Grim- also known as The Grim Reaper, he may not be like Death seeing that he failed to win at limbo with two kids, but he's Jamaican accent come on man!)**

Grim's wife Mandy then leaned over and some a cigarette and said "Give me more bone face!"

 **(Mandy- From Grim Tales, which is a webcomic for Grim adventures of billy and Mandy, A nightmare before christmas, Spawn, Powerpuff girls, Samurai Jack. Fairy odd parents, Teen Titans (Not Go)... pretty much all the good shit before Cartoon network was shit. She rules as the titled: QUEEN BITCH, Because she's willing to kick her own children's asses, have abortions for Grim to have an heir to the throne. and she's not a dumb blonde she's... hot.)**

Death then clashed his head with Mandy's and said "MAKE ME BITCH!"

Mandy then stood up both starring at each other's eyes and the ground between the two blew up into a crater from the intense stares the two were giving each other. Then a boy asked "Mom... Minnie won't stop hugging me again!"

 **(Grim Jr- The son of Mandy and Grim, however his biological father is unknown, dammit B** **leedman I wanna who his father is! Since he was not given a single breath of life before being aborted he is technically Grim's son among with other aborted children...**

 **Dragoritus- Damn that's dark as fuck... but I can't stop reading it! It's like Game of thrones with my childhood!**

 **Deadpool- That's... actually pretty awesome.)**

Grim then sighed and said "Minnie stop cuddling with your brother."

 **(Minniemandy- Named after her mother guess who? Mandy, yeah she's a Yandere of the dead... when I say that grim tales is the Game of thrones of my childhood, I meant it. Minnie is in love with her older brother, ew! But when Jr seems to be attrcated to a demon muted girl named Mimi, whose the daughter of Blossom and HIM for unknown reasons she gets on a murderous state where she is willing to just hurt anyone. Fucking crazy man.)**

Minnie then said "But father Jr is cold and needs comfort."

Death then said while still having his intense staring contest with Mandy "TAKE HIM OUTSIDE GIRL!"

Mandy then stated while not moving an inch "STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE AND CUDDLE UP TO JR AS MUCH AS YOU WANT!"

Minnie then hugged Jr and said "Yes mother..."

Jr then began to cry and asked "Why me?"

Then Bayonetta walked in and saw Death growling as Mandy's eyes twitched and palmed her face and said "I'm married to the Reaper of souls and he can't even stop staring at other women..."

Death then shouted "NO THIS IS A MATTER OF WHOSE MORE DOMINANT OVER THE DEAD!"

Grim then took s sip of cynide and said "Plus ya ain't my wife she is my wife."

Bayonetta then saw Mandy and said "Well she's got good taste in lingerie thats for sure."

Mandy then turned towards Bayonetta and thanked "At least someone thinks it fits me!"

Death then raised both fists in the air and shouted "I WIN! I WIN! I WIIIIIN! I LOVE YOU HONEY!"

Bayonetta raised her finger but curled it and palmed her face and said "Love you too Death."

Then a the easter bunny walked in and said "Bartender give me three chicky yokes!"

Death then cracked three eggs in a glass and poured some alcohol in it and said "Here you go Bunny man!"

The easter bunny then shouted "THANKS!"

 **Happy easter everybody!**


	26. Announcement!

Announcement!

 **(Dragoritus- oh boy! Guess what** **everybody! High school for Badasses has just started!**

 **(Deadpool- Fully glory of my fourth wall breaking even in the description!**

 **Dragoritus- Now this show is not going to be apart of the same universe as this show but a spin off that has the badass Teachers in it!**

 **Deadpool- So OP, Cool story bro... tell it again!**

 **Dragoritus- Don't make him retype that shit! Anyway Doom sounds pretty cool but is it on PS1 or PC?**

 **Deadpool- Now Sgt! Captain Pricne is by far my favorite badass from Call Duty so yes!**

 **Dragoritus- However, Cole can't do I actually didn't like that game sorry, Nathan drake I tried the first so, it wasn't really that interesting more like a Indiana Jones and Tomb raider combined and made that. It could be much better but seeing it's Naughty Dog it's gotta be good.**

 **Deadpool- The apprentice from Star wars unleashed? Isn't his name Star killer?**

 **Dragoritus- Yeah it is... there's a point where I can't get passed in the first game so I can't say he's a full blown badass, Overlord from the overlord series? Which one? There's like two? The first one whose the father of the second or the Overlord during the second game? Because there both great games.**

 **Deadpool- But yeah, Dragoritus needs to play more Playstation games he's been away for far too long!**

 **Dragoritus- I love both Xbox and Playstation I don't care who says there equal in my eyes. but I do admit I need to play more Playstations games if I'll ever get the money for a Ps3 and 4)**


	27. Episode 20: RAGE AND ANGER!

Episode 20: Naughtydog and Activision rage!

 **(Dragoritus- Hey everybody I have good news and I have bad news...**

 **Deadpool- Good news first!**

 **Dragoritus- Good news is I'll be moving out of my grandparents soon.**

 **(HORRRRAAAAAAY!)**

 **Deadpool- And the bad news...**

 **Dragoritus- I won't have internet for some time...**

 **(FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!)**

 **Death- that sucks...**

 **Kratos- Yup.**

 **Asura- My wrath will only grow until you've returned...**

 **Dragoritus- Awwww how sweet of you guys, OP that sounded so crazy that I might actually play the game I'll have to buy the Doom 3 BFG edition seeing that it comes with Doom 1, 2 and the remaster of Doom 3. And that makes sense right?**

 **Deadpool- Right!**

 **Dragoritus- And Sgt. M00re I have played Overlord 1 and 2 but due to the disks I bought (The disks would only let me play so far from being so damaged) and those were the only copies the store had I can only give from what I had seen in the short (BUT FUCKING AWESOME) first two hours.**

 **Deadpool- And Nathan Drake?**

 **Dragoritus- I have not played Uncharted so can't do that, But I will give a rant about Naughtydog though, Sgt, Star killer I would but I couldn't get passed a certain chapter so no can do until i can figure that shit out and rebut the game. I say Lara Croft as Nathan's replacement she do everything he could as a Badass woman we need more of these in the show anyway.**

 **Bayonetta- Hello!**

 **Dragoritus- I sad we need more! Your great but your not enough!**

 **Bayonetta- So you men can master-bate to us?**

 **(Gamers: Uhhhhhh noo...)**

 **Dragoritus- I won't lie you FUCKIN HOT! But we need more Badass female characters any suggestions?**

 **Deadpool- and asked if we can have Prophet from Crysis OH and JAMES HELLER FROM** **PROTOTYPE 2!**

 **Dragoritus- Why James?**

 **Deadpool- He's a badass black guy and you don't have any of those in this show... except for Spawn but we can't see his Badass anywhere.**

 **Dragoritus- Holy shit... your right yeah James Heller and Prophet are good to go!**

 **Deadpool- YOUR WELCOME FOR REMINDING YOUR FORGETFUL ASS!**

 **Dragoritus- Sorry thank you for reminding me to bring more badass black characters. Now I have to tear Naughtdog a new asshole...**

* * *

 **Dragoritus in: WHAT THE FUCK NAUGHTDOG?!**

 **Seriously what happened?**

 **You started with Crash** **Bandicoot but Jak and Daxter is what made you!**

 **I'm still waiting for that promised Jak 4 that you hinted at Jak 3!**

 **Naughty dog great you made Uncharted and the Last of us (Not badass but very emotional! I got the feels so bad though I wanted to cry I guess I was just too badass)**

 **Deadpool- You wish!**

 **Dragoritus- What ever!**

 **Naughty dog sell Jak to someone who can give the fans what they have been waiting for!**

 **Rtachet and Clank, Sly Cooper they got sold to a companies who respected both the creator's works and the fans!**

 **YOU DON'T!**

 **You had the chance to allow Jak and Daxter to be in a movies, Ratchet and clank and Sly Cooper both are getting that!**

 **If you wanted us to believe us to expect a never say never thing then do it!**

 **(Shia Labouf: DO IT! JUST DO IT!)**

 **I can say something by judging on the gameply of Jak X though I'm not into racing games the characters still acted as if it was a regular Jak game and I respect that from you. Daxter you didn't make though you allowed it seemed very Jak and Daxter like buth just without Jak, then (Sighs) Lost Frontier happened.**

 **And seriously they fucked up the Lore, the Characters, the gameplay, and why is everyone in this game referring the Brink as the end of the world? WHEN THEIR WORLD IS A FUCKIN PLANET?!**

 **IT'S NOT FLAT LIKE A MAP!**

 **You making so many easter eggs in the Last of us! YOU HAVE LOST THAT MUCH RESPECT FROM ME!**

 **And to those of you who think Jak and Daxter is for kids...**

 **(Drag: You're an imbecile!)**

 **Jak and Daxter 1 was kid friendly, so was Disney's the hunchback of Notre dame and the Black cauldron! and there was some pretty scary and fucked up shit in those movies!**

 **WHERES THE JAK AND DAXTER MOVIE?!**

 **Seriously Jak and Daxter ARE the games that built your asses!**

 **Naughtdog, if you wanted to go back to Jak 4 then I must say you don't need to reboot that!**

 **Sell it to the company who can respect your creation and it's fanbase!**

 **Because right now your only keeping it to yourself and saying "Oh we'll maybe go back to it."**

 **That's another way of saying "We're keeping this franchise to ourselves and we will let Playstation all stars pay for it!"**

 **As far as I've seen Naughtydog your claim of never say never is just a code for "We're greedy mother fuckers that won't let anyone take anyone take more of our products even if it's for it's own good!"**

 **FUCK YOU, FUCK YOU, FUCK YOU!**

* * *

 **Deadpool- You mad?**

 **Dragoritus- Furious...**

 **Deadpool- You know when you rant about a company you know someone is gonna probly see that right?**

 **Dragoritus- GOOD! THEY CAN ACTUALLY SEE A REASON WHY THEY SHOULD SELL JAK AND DAXTER TO SOMEONE ELSE CAUSE WE KNOW JAK AND DAXTER ARE NOT IN THEIR INTERESTS ANYMORE!**

 **Spyro- Yeah I feel that!**

 **Dragoritus- Oh wait I gotta Rant on Activision now...**

* * *

 **Dragoritus in: FUCK YOU ACTIVISION!**

 **FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCCCKKK YOOOOOOOOOOOOOU!**

 **(Deadpool- Holy shit...)**

 **YOU FUCKED UP!**

 **CALL OF DUTY IS THE SAME GAME OF AND OF AGAIN BUT THAT'S NOT WHAT I'M GONNA BE CHEWING YOUR ASS OUT ON.**

 **SKYLANDERS (THIS ATROCITY!)**

 **WHERE DO I BEGIN?**

 **OH YES SPYRO IS NOT THE MAIN CHARACTER!**

 **HE'S A** **BYSTANDER**

 **AND WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TO CYNDER?!**

 **SHE WAS A BADASS BLACK DRAGON NOT A PURPLE DRAGON LIKE SPYRO!**

 **I WOULD HAVE SAID TO PUT SHEILA, AGENT 9, BENTLY, SGT BIRD, AND HUNTER IN THIS BUT I WANT MY CHILDHOOD TO STAY SAFER FROM YOU!**

 **YOUR LIKE THE MICHAEL BAY OF VIDEO GAMES!**

 **(Deadpool- Oh my god!)**

 **(Optimus Prime- So true after the Dark spark.)**

 **FUUUUUUUUUUK YOU!**

 **YOU SUCK ACTIVATION YOU RUINED MY FAVORITE PURPLE DRAGON FROM MY CHILDHOOD!**

 **(I'm still playing year of the Dragon and haven't completed it yet)**

 **SO FUUUUUUCK YOU ACTIVISION!**


	28. Episode 21: FULL HOUSE!

Episode 21: The good the bad and the fucked up!

 **(Dragoritus- You know I fucking love my childhood so I might make a list of rules of what to do with my childhood and what not to do...**

 **Deadpool- No one... I fucking love you!**

 **Dragoritus- What?**

 **Deadpool- Read his review!**

 **"The Bar of Badasses is just badass. Keep them coming, thanks for listening to my suggestion. I got another one Samael from Darksiders"**

 **\- No one (No seriously that's their guest name)**

 **Dragoritus- I fucking love it! YES YES A MILLION FUCKING TIMES YES!**

 **Deadpool- Primus asked for** **Grimlock.**

 **Dragoritus- FUCK YES! NOW ON WITH SHOW!)**

In Death and Bayonetta's new house

Death was annoyed with his guests as Bayonetta was impressed and said "Your mom is... actually good looking for a demon."

Death then sighed as his mother Lilith said "Thank you, you know I always knew Death would choose a woman like me."

 **(Lilith- Death's mother (Actually Creator but she calls him her son so...) she created the first Nephilim from the ashes of Angels and Demons, Absalom, but when her** **knowledge of how to create more was taken away and the Nephilim were executed by Death and his fellow siblings she is now married to... the Red wonderer, the Dark Prince's rival the one the only SAMAEL!)**

Lilith then asked "You enjoying yourself dear?"

Samael then sighed and said "No."

Death then stated "At least we can agree on that!"

 **(Samael- the Red wonderer the fuckin second in line for Hell's hierarchy, and this guy is so fuckin badass even when he is not at full power he managed to trick War into killing the individuals who had stolen his power and contained it within their hearts and after War did found out he had still chose to give him the last heart knowing he would have the power to send him to his sworn enemy Straga even if it meant having Samael whose power is rivaled to Lucifer gaining all his power back.)**

Bayonetta then said "Yeah I saw you two at the wedding and I'm curious how did you two's fucking create him?"

Death and Samael then stood up and left without another word as Samael asked "Where's your bar?"

Death then stated "Follow me I need to get to work anyway..."

Back in the house Lilith then smiled and said "Oh I didn't give birth to that Hunk of Badass but I created his brothers and sister and entire race."

Bayonetta then asked "Really? was he the first?"

Lilith then stated "Second the first was Absalom his older brother whose still mad over Death getting the favorite treatment deal..."

 **In the Tree of Life**

Absalom curled up in a ball and shouted "WHY WON'T YOU LOVE ME TOO MOMMY?!"

 **IN THE LEGENDARY BAR OF BADASSES!**

Death had walked in as two robots were standing in front drinking oil and energon as Death shouted "MEGATON GRIDLOCK HOW'S CYBERTRON?!"

 **(Megatron (Live action** **version)- He may be a hunk of junk being killed twice, but god damn can he take a hit! Half of his face blown off by Optimus Prime and his hand cannon blown off! HOLY SHIT! He's not a badass just for being durable but he's so quotable too!**

 **Deadpool- just see this shit!)**

Megatron then shouted "I AM MEGATRON!"

Grimlock then stated "Yes we got that since 2006!"

 **(Grimlock- How can I explain the pure badass that is** **Grimlock? He's a fuckin Transforming Robotic T-rex who can breath fire and shit! IT DOESN'T GET BETTER THAN THAT IN ROBITICS!**

 **Deadpool- A Planet eating Robot!**

 **Dragoritus- True Unicron is..**

 **Deadpool- Plus I know the last movie was shit but come on! A FIRE BREATHING ROBOTIC T-REX WITH A ROBOTIC SAMURAI BEHIND HIM!**

 **Dragoritus- Yeah Guilty pleasures always bad but fun!)**

Death and Samael then walked into the Bar seeing it was a full house tonight as death saw both Overlords from their franchises, James Heller the man whose trying to hunt down Alex Mercer. Captain Price whose holding a picture of soap in his hand.

 **(Overlords 1 and 2- The father and son overlords, the overlord in the first game commands an** **entire horde of minions its fun actually playing the villains! and that's badass!**

 **James Heller- A man whose like Asura but on a city level, fuckin guy gets turned into a prototype by Alex himself and killed the fucker who kidnapped his daughter and murdered his wife. JUST LIKE ASUSA!**

 **Captain Prince- When you need a sniper that can shoot your arm off and make you remember the time of nearly being killed by a sniper Price is your man, this guy where do I begin? He shot a man's arm off, gets locked up in a prison and survives being tortured, gets back into the military, helps kill a backstabbing douchebag! and hangs a terrorist from a steel cable and smokes a cigar afterwards... holy shit!)**

Then Price shouted "Oi Death Glad you made it I want a Soapy!"

Death then poured a drink and dropped a bar of soap in it and said "Here you go Captain."

Price then drank the entire glass soap and all and said "Mmm great."

Then James who sat with Asura asked "So how's your daughter?"

Asura then stated "Great after I punched Emo Dante at Death's wedding. Yours?"

James then stated "She's getting used to her powers..."

 **James' house**

James' daughter (I Forgot her name) shouted as she tried to consume Emo Dante "WHAT AM I DOING WRONG!"

But Emo Dante shouted "COME ON WHY DO I HAVE TO BE THE ONE THAT HAS TO GET HURT HATERS!"

 **(Dragoritus- YOU SHUT YOUR GOD DAMN MOUTH YOU PUSSY! YOUR FANS ACTUALLY CALL THE REAL DANTE FANS HATERS BECAUSE THEY CAN'T LET GO OF NOSTALGIA?! NO IT'S BECAUSE EMO DANTE IS A FUCKING DICKHEAD WHOSE GOD DAMN BROTHER MURDERED A BABY INSIDE A PREGNANT WOMAN AT LEATS THE REAL VERGIL WOULD KILL YOU WITH A SWORD TO THE FRONT!**

 **Deadpool- Yeah we have a legit reason to hate your game!)**

 **Bar**

Then another badass walked in with a lady in his arm and said "Death give me a nazi killing riot!"

Then Death said "Coming right up BJ!"

 **(BJ Blaskovitch- This guy loves killing Nazis and I think he should be a top worry post war cause you know there aren't any nazis left but what makes this guy so badass is his quotes and the fact he got laid after like what 10 years in a coma? and its a Polish** **hottie!)**

Death then headed the drink to BJ and drank it all and shouted with two guns in hand "IMA GONNA KILL ALL ZE NAZIS!"

Then Bj ran out on a guns blazing glory as Kratos asked "What the fuck kinda drink does that shit?"

Samael then asked "So this is the Legendary Bar of Badasses?"

Death then said "Yep and Kratos owns it."

Kratos then stated "yeah it took me quite some time to find a place to buy..."

 **After God of War 3...**

Kratos' torso was bleeding out as he had jumped into the sea from Mt Olympus but eventually he blacked out and awoke on... the island of the Amazons?

Then a woman walked in looking like the The Statue of Liberty's sister and asked "You there are you alright?"

 **(Wonder woman- Fucking wonder woman... not stating anything further than that.)**

Kratos then asked "Where... where am I?"

Wonder woman then stated "Your on my island but... I've gotta say your not like any man I've seen taking on the gods and winning is impressive."

 **Later**

(Triangle! circle! circle! X! X! X! SPIN THE STICK! SPIN THE OTEHR STICK! CLENCH THE BUTTCHEEKS! GAH MORE CLENCHING!)

Wonder woman then said "Not bad... now bend over!"

 **Presently**

Kratos then stated "After that she gave me a fuck ton of money and also made me her booty call."

Then a phone rang as it was Wonder woman's voice "BEND OVER, BEND OVER, BEND OVER!"

Kratoshad slowly walked back to his office as everyone had turned towards him and laughed while Asura shouted "GOOD TO KNOW THAT THE GOD OF WAR LIKES IT UP THS ASS HAHAHA!"

Price the said "Spartans hahaha!"

Death then sighed and said "Of fucking course!"

Shao Kahn the shouted "KRATOS LOOSES... PUNISHMENT... DEATH BY ANAL DILDO FUCKING!"

Then a loud shout was hard in Kratos' office as he later shouted "NOT FUNNY SHAO KAHN!"

 **Dragoritus- This will be the last post for I am moving tomorrow, until me and my cousin can get a new house and internet I can't post new stuff... so please don't make too many request while I'm gone.**

 **Deadpool- HEY READER DO IT ANYWAY! WE NEED A CHAPTER OF HIM GETTING PISSED OFF LIKE THE NAUGHTYDOG AND ACTIVATION SHIT AGAIN!**

 **Dragoritus- You know what... go ahead I can't win against his fourth wall breaks...**

 **Deadpool- Oh you know you love it!**

 **Dragoritus- Immortal cancer!**

 **Deadpool- ...That hurst you know!**

 **Dragoritus- (waves hands towards self) try me bitch!**

 **(It was at that moment that I knew fucked up...)**

 **(dead)**


	29. Episode 22: Nintendo

Episode 22: Does this make me look sexy?

* * *

 _Deadpool- Hey just skip this part until you've read the Bolded stuff._

 _Fair use:_

 _A Doctrine that brief excerpts Copyright material, under certain circumstances be_ _quoted, verbatim for purposes such as:_

 _Criticism_

 _News reporting_

 _Teaching_

 _and Researching without the permission of from or payment to copyright holder_

 _Deadpool- MEANING NINTENDO YOU CAN'T FILE COPYRIGHT SINCE THE PEOPLE ON YOUTUBE ARE INDEED CRITICIZING YOUR WORK AND USE YOUR WORK TO TEACH, RESEARCH AND OTHER GOOD STUFF!_

* * *

 **(Dragoritus- Well guess what mother fuckers?**

 **Deadpool- Oh we're having badass Tacos?**

 **Dragoritus- ...Can't deny that Tacos are badass, but what I'm gonna say right now will not affect this show at all.**

 **Zelda- Do tell.**

 **Dragoritus- I will be as soon as I can buy the following games, Legend of Zelda, Ocarina of Time, Majora's mask, and Twilight princess.**

 **Death- Why?**

 **Dragoritus (sarcasm)- Because I'm annoyed with the Zelda fans and their bitchin about Darksiders a horrible clone. No I found out that a childhood favorite actor, Robin Williams who had sadly passed away back in 2014 had a daughter named Zelda naming her after the titular princess character.**

 **Death- Wasn't he the genie in the lamp?**

 **Dragoritus- That's my favorite role he played and because I looked up to him as with respect and so forth, I would play the only three games Legend of Zelda games I will buy these games not only as a sign of proving my respects to a man who was just a great actor and who had inspired many.**

 **Deadpool (Crying)- THAT WAS BEAUTIFUL!**

 **Death- You know you don't have to play the game because of Robin Williams liked it right?**

 **Dragoritus- I'm not laying it for me to enjoy it, I may not like the series but I will have to tolerate it seeing that I'm a Darksiders fan and knowing that both Darksiders fans and Legend of Zelda fans more or less hate each other's games. So me playing these games will welcome a much NEEDED Darksiders and Legend of Zelda crossover.**

 **Death- There's already like one.**

 **Dragoritus- with only one full chapter? Yeah not good enough.**

 **Deadpool- Sgt has asked for, Alice Liddle from American Mgee's Alice/Alice madness returns, a bunch of characters from stagecraft and Jack of blades from Fable I second the last one!**

 **Dragoritus- I was fucking confused with American Mcgee's Alice madness returns, I automatically said "This isn't the Alice in Wonderland I saw as a child." But yeah I have no idea what she did that was badass seeing that I wasn't quite into the game, never played starcraft and never will seeing that I don't really like strategy games. But Jack of Blades is definitely a yes!**

 **Deadpool- Why name this episode Zelda is the badass of her legend?**

 **Dragoritus- Because although her use of the Triforce of Wisdom is never used to you know for WIDSOM! She can change into different forms, Sheik the more important alter ego is just quite frankly badass. She can come out of nowhere like poof there's sheik again, but then there's the argumentof Sheik and Zelda's gender. While I say that Sheik had no bodge near hs crotch people can argue that he had no breasts like Zelda however I can argue that Zelda could have been flat chested.**

 **Zelda- It's more maneuverable like that!**

 **Dragoritus- Of course and so are large breasts that are so maneuverable they bounce all over the place! NOW ON WITH THE...**

 **Deadpool- WAIT! CAN YOU LECTURE NINTENDO?!**

 **Dragoritus- Why?**

 **Deadpool (Shows that the company is abusing the fair use in Youtube)**

 **Dragoritus- ...Your ass, IS MINE NOW NINTENDO!**

 **Deadpool- Oh wait I'v gotta put the Fair use thing above... ^**

 **Dragoritus- We're time traveling now?**

 **Deadpool- Ok I'm back yeah fuck your stupidity Nintendo!**

 **Dragoritus- Ok now on with the show!**

IN THE LEGENDARY BAR OF BADASSES!

Samael was with his step son Death who said "Why are you still here?"

Samael then stated "Because your wife and mom are shopping together..."

 **Link's treasury store**

Link had shouted "HYAAAA!"

Bayonetta then asked "And why not I can wear it better than you can!"

Lilith then walked out in a suit much like Bayoentta's and said "Wow this is quite sexy... what do you think hon?"

Bayonetta then stated "For a demon I can say yeah you look splendid. Now Pretty Green I'll make a bet with you..."

Later Bayonetta walked out of the store in Link's tunic and said "Oh bother it looks like its a bit too loose around the breast area..."

Link just stood make with his arms crossed unamused as the pet shop owner Pikachu walked out in a green fedora and pointed at him and laughed while Link shouted "HYAAAAA!"

 **Back in the legendary bar**

Bayonetta and Lilith walked in as Death and Samael widened their eyes as Lilith sat on Samael's lap and Bayonetta hopped over the counter and said "Hi honey how you like my new look?"

Death was silent as he only noticed Bayonetta's cleavage was more noticeable in the green tunic and said "Pretty green is not getting this back..."

Bayonetta then smiled seductively and said "My, my, looks like the pale horse is growing fast."

Then Deadpool bursts out of the trash can and shouted "SHE WANT THE D!"

Death then slammed the trash can lid on Deadpool and shouted "SHUT UP!"

 **(Deapool- That's not how it went! Let me show what really happened)**

 **Deadpool's version of what just happened** **seconds ago:**

Death had divorced Bayonetta and claimed to be Deadpool's biggest fan and is madly in love him!

 **(Dragoritus- What? Why are you making me type that?**

 **Deadpool- I was bored.**

 **Dragoritus- Ok but don't fuck with my typing skillz while I'm makin a episode!)**

Bayonetta then asked "So will Kratos mind you playing hooky for a day?"

Death then leaned back over the counter and saw Kratos' office was closed and said "How fast can we go for this?"

Bayonetta then stated "In less then fifteen minute if we're both going fast."

Death then stood up straight and said "Ok lets make this quick."

Death and Bayonetta then walked so fast that the two seemed to be running but Samael then asked "Not gonna lie... I like this new outfit your eating."

Lilith then stated "Good boy now lets go I'm a bit aroused myself."

Then the two went through a portal as Zelda walked in with Link who borrowed a different green tunic that look like the one Bayonetta took and said "You know she's not gonna give it back why did you let her take it?"

Link then shouted "HYAAA!"

Zelda then stopped and turn her head showing her serious look at Link and said "You saw her NAKED?!"

Link then tiptoed away as Zelda then pulled out a bow and shot him in the head with an arrow and said "Don't worry we all have infinite response and I'm not done punishing you yet!"

Then a man walked in with a red hood and a mask and said with a deep voice "How cold, and even the hero of Oakdale would have laid with you."

Zelda then sighed and asked "Jack of blades, what do you want?"

 **(Jack of blades- You know despite Fable not living up to the hype it's villain did, this guy kills the hero's father, blinds their sister, burns their village imprisons their mother, makes them an orphan, imprisons them with their mother for a year, causes world wide catastrophe, kills your mother, cheats death, becomes a mother fuckin dragon and then takes control over their body as if it was his own, seriously this guy did everything right when it came to being a ancient evil, and if you played the lost chapters and chose not to throw away his mask he wins**

 **He is the only BEST villains from Fable.)**

Jack of blades then stated "But I can't deny that his body is still urging to fool around..."

Zelda then grabbed Jack of Blades' hands and made him kneel before her and said "Keep your nasty snake to yourself!"

 **(OHHHHHHHHH THAT WAS BRUTAL!)**

Jack appeared to not be in pain and said "Why of course princess..."

* * *

 **Dragoritus in: Nintendo being assholes about Fair use**

 **Seriously? WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TO YOU?!**

 **Nintendo you having the videos that are dedicated to your most beloved franchises taken down because they don't own the franchise is complete and total BULLSHIT!**

 **YOU chose to sell us copies of your games don't expect us to not make videos of games that YOU MADE and WE LOVE!**

 **I will say one thing if you Konami low which I pray to god(zilla) it won't, Asura will punch through the planet and kill you!**

 **Asura- Why would I do that?**

 **Dragoritus- Nintendo... is thinking on making your daughter cry for posting a criticizing video about a game that needs to improve.**

 **Asura- WHAT?!**

 **Dragoritus- Yeah, yeah their plans are to not allow anyone to have free will to show how much they love their games.**

 **Asura- YOU BASTARDS!**

 **Dragoritus- Yeah you bastards. (Wink)**

 **Death- Do I need to Reap their souls afterwards?**

 **Dragoritus- No we still need them to make more Bayonetta games, and if code name NX doesn't work we can kiss Mario, Zelda, Donkey Kong, Metroid and the most important one... Bayonetta ALL GOD BYE SEEING THAT THEY OWN THEM ALL!**

 **Dante- Well... shit.**

 **Dragoritus- Yeah and I don't want Bayonetta to die... because Nintendo being idiots and forcing their own fans to hate them for pulling this shit!**

* * *

 **Preview for Highschool for Badasses Music teacher: The World's best Roadie:**

 _All the students sat in class Jr still trying to get understand how he has two fathers who are Reapers and now hold on to your pant cause thing are gonna get Metal._

 _The teacher's desk explodes into a performance stage as a man with long black hair who oddly looked like Jack Black and sounded like him said "Alright little roadies! LETS LEARN ABOUT MUSIC!"_


	30. Episode 23: Badasses vs Wimps!

Episode 23: BAR OF BADASSES VS LODGE OF THE WIMPS!

 **(Dragoritus- Well I'm going to piss off of an entire fan base... YO DW COULD YOU SAID IT SOUND BETTER WHEN YOU DO IT!**

 **Dark Wing Duck (I almost typed Dark winged dick)- LETS GET DANGEROUS!**

 **Deadpool- I love reunions! So which fan base are you gonna piss off?**

 **Dragoritus- Well by reusing a quote by Unicorn but adding my touch... There was a time when I considered sparing the fans of Twilight... but now you shall witness me dismember it verbally!**

 **Twlight Fans- NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!**

 **Deadpool- YESSSSSSSSSSSSS!**

 **Dragoritus- Yes the time has come to have the Bar face it's eternal rival... the Lodge of Wimps.**

 **Deadpool- Hey Dragoritus, what team you on?**

 **Dragoritus- Pffft that's a dumb question, Team Edward... Elric HA!**

 **Ed- This guy ^ got me killed.**

 **Dragoritus- No one dies here unless I deactivate someone's infinite respawning.**

 **Deadpool- (gasp) Hacker...**

 **Dragoritus- Then I must not be playing Halo right... which I have some beef to say about 5th game since I now have played the damn game and I knew alot about it was not good now I've actually played it and I've got some ranting to share with you all.**

 **Deadpool- THE SGT HAS ASKED FOR SWEET TOOTH, ALBERT WALKER AND... THE GUY... OH YOU SHOULD HAVE ASKED DRAGORITUS THAT!**

 **Dragoritus- Sweet Tooth is acceptable but I've only played and remember his part in the new Twisted metal, Albert I've never heard of problem since I don't like Resident evil very much, I'm not a zombie fan unless it's Red dead Redemption or Dying light. The Guy... Disturbed's mascot...**

 **Deadpool- Let's take a moment of silence...**

 **Dragoritus- FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK YEAHHHHHHHHH! SGT ARE YOU SURE YOU NOT ONE OF MY CLONES I TRIED TO MAKE?!**

 **Deadpool- You didn't make any clones!**

 **Dragoritus- One can still try.**

 **Deadpool- But you didn't even try!**

 **Ed- Let him dream god knows that's all he does.**

 **Deadpool- God just smiled upon Dragoritus and said "You shall dream big... but never go anywhere."**

 **Dragoritus- That's harsh... but so true. I can Dream of big things, boobs, better pairings, and I love the color black and can't go back.**

 **Deadpool- You white boy!**

 **Dragoritus- So?**

 **Deadpool- Racist fuck!**

 **Dragoritus- Oh you dick head! I don't care what you look, and I don't even like talking about religion cause you know I can choose to be a asshole and disrespact people's beliefs or I can be the guy who doesn't disrespect anyone's religions... with only one exception.**

 **Deadpool- What religion?**

 **Dragoritus- The one with the giant flying spaghetti monster. JUST THE IDEA IS DUMB AND FOR WIMPS!**

 **Deadpool- scratch that... Dragoritus is gonna piss of a fan base and entire religion.**

 **Dragoritus- And it's a legit belief... how?**

 **Deadpool- four or more people belief in it.**

 **Dragoritus- The fuck? What ever on with the show!**

In the wimpy Lodge of wimps (Located in an alternate dimension, yes like DC but not as dark)

The bar tender was a sparkling vampire Edward Cullen...

 **(Dragoritus- Please Oh god don't make me** **type this shit!**

 **Deadpool- Too bad!**

 **Dragoritus- Damnit!)**

As I was saying... Edward cullen was cleaning the bar as his boss Harry potter sat in if office...

 **(Dragoritus- Ok seriously? Fucking Harry Potter?!**

 **Deadpool- Keep typing buddy!**

 **Dragoritus- oh god I'm afraid what else you want me to type...)**

With Ash Katchum as the bouncer only using his slave Pokemon as his means to fight...

 **(Dragoritus- Your fucking me aren't you?!**

 **Deadpool- You wish.**

 **Dragoritus- I fucking hate Ash!**

 **Deadpool- Why?**

 **Dragoritus- He's still 10 years old and has not aged one damn bit with me! At least Digimon got that and grew up along with me!**

 **Omnimon- Supreme cannon!**

 **Dragoritus- Can your Pokemon combine like** **transformers? and never die?!**

 **Pikachu- Pika?**

 **Dragoritus- No your the only badass on that show, you can wear a fucking fedora in smash bros you've earned that title badass with that alone!)**

Then Harry walked out and said "So... we're going to have to face the bar of badasses again..."

Edward then sighed and said "what a drag."

 **(YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP!)**

Edward then asked "Dis anyone heard that?"

 **(YOUR A FUCKIN VAMPIRE WANNABE YOU SEE THE MVIE DRACULA UNTOLD AT LEATS DRACULA WAS FUCKIN BADASS IN THAT MOVIE!)**

Harry then stated "No, but... I think Voldemort is behind this...

 **(You use fuckin wands when I clearly saw you do magic without it! That glass window! Tom Riddles closet catching on fire by Dumbledore? does any of that not ring a bell?!)**

Then Ash shouted "I'll be the very best!"

 **(Yeah... where's your father again?)**

Then all three went through a portal Dragoritus somehow made and entered the Bar of Badasses as Death shouted "NO YOUR NOT A MASTER OF DEATH GET OUT!"

Asura then walked in and saw Ash and said "Grow up kid!"

Kratos then saw Edward and lost his sanity and picked him up over his head as Ed said "What a drag..."

Keaton then tore him in half and shouted "GET OUT OF MY BAAAAAAAAR!"

Then the three were sent back to their Lodge as Kratos continued to stomp on Ed's head and shouted "ONLY ONE MAN IS ALLOWED TO SPARKLE!"

Then a manly voice was heard "WHY THANK YOU KRATOS AND BY THE WAY THOSE MUSCLES LOOK FANTASTIC!"

Kratos then stopped being angry for a moment and said "We need to get War and show off our muscles sometime Armstrong."

 **(Alex louis Armstrong- the ONLY man who is allowed to sparkle and make it badass, his blonde mustache, a single curly strand of hair along with his insane amount of muscles... it's n wonder why he's so fucking badass... but his older sister Oliver... ohhhh I wouldn't mind being her soldier for a day... or if she just commanded it cause she's got long blonde hair and isn't dumb... I want one.**

 **Deadpool- DENIED!**

 **Dragoritus- Why can't I get the** **ladies to like me?**

 **Deadpool- Cause ya origin ain't that pretty.**

 **Dragoritus- WHO TOLD YOU?!**

 **Deadpool- Your mom!**

 **Dragoritus- Oh... she's a liar anyway so suck it!**

 **Deadpool- You don't like you own mother do you?**

 **Dragoritus- Not without reason.)**

* * *

 **Dragoritus in I am disappoint!**

 **343 you are gladly sucking Microsoft's "** **glorious" and expensive cock!**

 **Halo is Bungie's greatest achievement and you just take one big shit all over it!**

 **You make the fuckin game 70 GB worth of fuckin graphics, The story though a good idea and extreme, I am very disappointed in YOU!**

 **The story is the worst out of the entire Halo franchise, It's shorter than Halo 4 and not as badass as Halo 2 and 3, You made Chief a playable character but not as much as fuckin Locke.**

 **Agent Locke is a kiss ass, he has no other motives than to find Master Chief, the only time we see him OOC is with Buck.**

 **And speaking of Buck who is a great character I have to ask... why does he look like fuckin Charlie Sheen? that by itself tells me how low you've gotten in this franchise!**

 **Gears of war 4 will have Co-op and yet Halo 5 has none! I see where my money is going to next time!**

 **Where the fuck is the Didact?! Yeah I know he died in the comics but tell me why you set him up for a potential sequel and yet only mention him very few times?**

 **The Warden of Eternal's poorly executed reoccurring boss fight.**

 **Granted love that the Covenant can speak human languages again and great to see the Elite's home world, and the Kraken was pretty well designed but just like the Scarabs it's weakness is just TOO easy to find.**

 **The story feels half assed beyond compare! You made the misleading trailers of Master Chief vs Agent Locke and you fucked it up!**

 **Seriously what happened, love that Arbiter is back and that we actually heard a female character for once! Your not giving us any other playable races, HELL I SAW THE PROMETHEAN SOLDIERS AS A GREAT CHANCE TO ADD ANOTHER PLAYABLE RACE BUT YOU MISSED IT!**

 **THERE ARE STILL NO BRUTES!**

 **A BAD CLIFFHANGER ENDING THAT RESOLVES NOTHING AND LEAVES US WITH A UNFULFILLED NEED TO FIND OUT WHERE IS THE REST OF THE STORY?!**

* * *

 **Dragoritus in Good job Gears 4**

 **To be honest I am still skeptical about it, but seeing the new trailer with Disturbed song, sound of silence I am already hooked, I knew Disturbed was a perfect music choice for the series.**

 **And I better have some Cole train in this game, he and has to act the same but older, because being older and acting like himself makes it even more badass!**

* * *

 **Dragoritus in Buda daaaa daadadada daaaaadadadaaaaa! (Star wars)**

 **Well I gotta say... George Lucas eat your heart out!**

 **You see this movies defines an age of what Star wars shoulder have gone through, George Lucas failed twice! Once for making 4, 5, and 6 first and confusing a whole lot of people of certain events like, The Clone wars.**

 **Now George I respect the universe you created but I have to say this, FUCK OFF! Remember you were too attached to a certain character in the** **prequel trilogy Jar Jar links, though yes I feel he should have remained in 1 movies the others just made the character so... political and I don;'t give a fuck for politics.**

 **But the new star wars oh... so good.**

 **Deadpool- You know I can make SOOOOOOO many dirty jokes from what your just said!**

 **Dragoritus- Yeah back on track...**

 **Eddie- Hey I need to know when me and The Guy will be teaching the Little Roadies.**

 **Dragoritus- soon.**

 **The Guy- I'M THE HAND OF GOD! I'M THE DARK MESSIAH! I'M VENGEFUL ONE!**

 **Dragoritus- seriously why hasn't there been a comic book or a animated movies about you yet?**

 **The Guy- Sometimes Darkness... can show you light!**

 **Dragoritus- Oh I love that song... and just about every other songs the band makes.**

* * *

 **(Eddie Riggs- This guy looks and is voiced by Jack fuckin Black, perfect! The guy I couldn't take seriously when he was angry in King Kong but I did a bit in Kung fu Panda is also a metal head. No not the Jak 2 and 3 creatures though their... designs were fuckin badass! Eddies is sent back into time when demons ruled over man kind, Metal is used a magic and for a** **comedy hack n slash, real time strategy game I felt that there's a lot of lore to be seen in this game.)**

 **(The Guy- Who's this Guy? Well nobody knows... some people have claimed his real name is Morbus, but one thing is for sure, he's the face of Disturbed, quite literally. He is indestructible, a master of war, a vengeful one, and his toothy grin would make the Joker proud! But yet I feel that The guy being only seen on covers of CDs, T-shirts, and two music videos, I would think the Guy deserves something much more than just that, The Guy is just badass looking and hell he's got a bunch of kids! take a look at the lost children cover!**

 **Now I've gotta say this, the song by Disturbed Ten thousand fists would be perfect as Asura's theme song!)**


	31. Episode 24: People

Episode 24: PEOPLE... ARE EVERYWHERE!

 **(Dragoritus- you know I that last episode typed I had to have those three get fucked up, ESPECIALLY the Princess from Twilight.**

 **Deadpool- Remember kids, Twilight Princess is Midna, Princess Twilight is a pony, and the Princess from Twilight is a Dracula sparkly pornstar wannabe.**

 **Dragoritus- Now Sgt, I don't really like Infamous and because of that I didn't really see why Cole is a badass, however Cole train from Gears of war is and will always be a badass... so sorry.**

 **Deadpool- Dude if you keep telling your readers to eat your shit your gonna get a lot of hate.**

 **Dragoritus- You know I fucking hate it when you say I'm telling them to eat my shit if I wanted them to eat my shit I would have to first!**

 **Deadpool- You would eat your own shit? WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU!**

 **Dragoritus- No I'm just... you know what fuck you and you making me type this shit!**

 **Deadpool- Alucard from Hellsing, Raiden, Mass effect characters and Dragon age characters.**

 **Dragoritus- Ok since I have not yet watched Aulcard I can't, Raiden I've good things about but haven't gotten to play it yet, and I don't really care for Mass effect but Dragon age is a different story.**

 **Deadpool- Read the title jackasses!**

 **Dragoritus- Hey don't insult the fans I'm trying not to be the Teen Titans Go writers.**

 **Deadpool- Well then you shouldn't have put me in this show.**

 **Dragoritus- You know what... your right.**

 **Deadpool- AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! NOW ON WITH THE MOTHER FUCKIN SHOW!**

IN THE LEGENDARY BAR OF BADASSES!

Asura was leaning back at a bar table as a man with two large horns an eye patch and grey skin sat with him and said "TO KILLING DRAGONS!"

 **(Iron Bull- What is there to be said about Bull? He's a man with horns like a long horn bull, who loves fights, he has some weird thing for Dragons though... one minute he's like 'I LOVE FIGHTING DRAGONS!' then next he's like 'I will have pleasurable sex with women while thinking of that dragon fight.'**

 **and the** **weirdest part is that a legend goes around that his race are descended of dragons... Who ever made that shit up is really fucking weird. Hell he's biosexual and a badass bu the prefers having red head ladies... which I cannot argue with.**

 **Deadpool- Dude...**

 **Dragoritus- What?**

 **Deadpool- You like redheads?**

 **Dragoritus- Who doesn't? That's my second choice of hair color, my favorite is Raven or black.**

 **Deadpool- You just love the color black don'tchya?**

 **Dragoritus- Well let me put it this way, any character that is or has an association with the color black already has my attention, Batman (Cause he's batman), Bayonetta (her hair which is her clothes), Death (His hair), Hell the voice actor for Arbiter is black has one of the most distinct voices to be heard!)**

Then a dwarf that beside Iron Bull and showed his bare hairy chest sat with his feet in the air and said "Yeah... dragons I should start another book about them."

 **(Varric- THIS MOTHER FUCKING DWARF MAKES GIMLI LOOK LIKE A WHIMP! I'm sorry just had to say that right there, this guy writes stories, shows his bare hairy ass chest, and the best part... you can't get in a relationship with him cause he already has someone important in his life but knows he** **can't but he kept a promise and fuck yeah man this guy is all badass. Just don't put him in the same room as Cassandra hehehe.)**

Then Bull asked "So where's Morrigan I'd thought she was going to meet her friend Bayonetta?"

Asura then said "Don't worry about her she's more than likely in good hands."

 **Death and Bayonetta's house**

Death had a confused look on his face and asked "So what did you want to do again?"

Bayonetta who sat next to Morrigan said "Morrigan needs to relieve herself of stress. So we're not asking we're telling you we're having a threesome."

Death then asked "But where's your son?"

Morrigan then stated "Tis with his grandmother."

Death then shouted "BUT YOU HATE HER!"

Morrigan and Bayoentta turned away and said "he's asking too many questions... are you sure?"

Bayonetta then stated "Trust me if I can dominate Death then your allowed to have some fun with me."

Moroccan then asked "But why didn't you asked Jeanne?"

 **At Jeanne's apartment**

(CIRCLE! X! X! X! SQAURE! LEFT STICK! RIGHT STICK!)

Jeanne then laid back with an angel and said in said "Not bad... red rider."

War laid back placing both arm underneath both women and said "It's hair."

 **Death and Bayonetta's house**

The two woman tackled Death and...

(TRIANGLE! X! SQUARE! CIRCLE! RIGHT STCIK! LEFT STICK R1+R2!)

 **The bar**

Then Master Chief walked in with another super soldier who wore a different type of armor.

 **(Prophet- This guy won't fucking die, even when he committed suicide! his suit can harden into bullet proof and go invisible not at the same time but still! He can power punch and kick a car and dumpsters! HE CAN KILL A SQUIDE LIKE SNAKE ALIEN HAVE MINDED THING!)**

Prophet then asked "So what's on today's ass kicking contest?"

Master chief then stated "Agent locke being a kiss ass!

Then another super soldier in blue armor walked in and said "MY NAME IS MICHEAL J CABOOSE! AND I HATE BAAAAAAABIES!"

 **(Caboose- YOU KNOW FROM RED VS BLUE! There is no way you can't say he's not badass! when he is angry he can kick AGENT TEXAS' ROBOTIC CLONES ASSES! He is IN LOVE WITH A TANK NAMED SHEILA! AND HE HAS A PET MANTIS (A halo 4 vehicle) NAMED FRECKLES!)**

Master Chief then said "And there's the stupidest spartan on the planet... but god damn you don't want to piss him off."

Prophet then said "yeah You don't piss of Caboose he pisses you off..."

Deadpool then appeared and said "That made no fucking sense!"

Then a man with a clown mask and a flaming fucking head walked in and said "You some candy?"

 **(Sweet tooth- From twisted metal, seriously this guy is a fucking badass clown, his head is on fire! and his ice cream truck is a transformer! ARGUMENT INVALID!)**

Then the Joker appeared and said "Your a copy cat!"

Sweet tooth then walked away and said "Ohhhh man."

Then Batman walked in and said "Joker get back to Arkham!"

 **(Batman- cause he's Batman.)**

Then Cole train walked in and said "TIME BRING IN THE HEAT B MAN!"

 **(Cole Train (Sorry THE Cole Train)- This guy... I cannot even say how badass he is, seriously there's no words I can use to describe him.)**

Batman then said "Go home Cole your drunk."

Cole then said "Come on baby we still haven't stated a bar fight yet!"

Asura then stated "Then I'd win hands down."

Iron Bull then stated "Yeah you would."

Then a man walked in with a sheep and threw it at Asura's face and said "Nod hard feelings for killing my son."

 **(Goat throwing man- This guy... threw a goat in Dragon age Inquisition at your castle... as a formality of no hard feelings for killing my stupid ass son... I WANTED THIS MAN IN MY INNER CIRCLE DAMNIT!)**

Asura then said "What... why did you throw a goat at me?"

The man then stated "Just no hard feelings for killing my idiot son."

Kratos then walked out and said "That's so fucking badass!"


	32. Episode 25: MORE RAGE!

Episode 25: MORE FUCKIN RAGE

 **(Dragoritus- Sgt, I don't play assassin's creed because there's too many of them and I don't really care for the gameplay which is over complicated to me, but I think Agent 47 from pitman would do better, now Van Helsing I never saw cause people have told me it sucked and me being the fool believed it. Now Bioshock all three were great games in my opinion. Now Ash from evil dead, I never played it so I can't place him in this.**

 **Deadpool- Where's my Cable?!**

 **Dragoritus- I thought we had Satellite?**

 **Deadpool- NO CABLE YOU MY SIDEKICK?!**

 **Dragoritus- Oh yeah... seriously though that name is fuckin weird!**

 **Deadpool- But he's my weird!**

 **Dragoritus- You've got issues Wade... So I watched the first episode of the 2016** **Powderpuff girls and I gotta say I VERY ANRGY!**

 **Deadpool- Oh shit...**

 **Dragoritus- You know I think the creators of the first show knew that people wanted more but over the years they knew that the show had run it's course and when they asked if this new show would be good. I BET THAT THE CREATORS KNEW IT WASN'T GOOD AND JUST SAID "THEIR GONNA PISS OFF THE OLD FANS, AND MAKE THE NEW ONE STUPIDER... GOOD LUCK WITH THAT IT'S NOT MY PROBLEM ANYMORE."**

 **Deadpool- So I heard that a later Episode has them twerking.**

 **Dragoritus- THE FUCK?! THEIR FUCKING KIDS! OH MY GOD... THIS IS INSULTING THE OLD FANS.**

 **Deadpool- Now I'm worried that Samurai Jack's new show won't be good.**

 **Dragoritus- I know from what I've heard it will have blood and won't hold back like it did in the original because Cartoon network did want a lot of GORE when the Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy's opening had the two main character skinless!**

 **Deadpool- Yeah...**

 **Dragoritus- Alright now back with the show!**

IN THE LEGENDARY BAR OF BADASSES!

Asura was sitting in silence hen suddenly Death put on a song that sang "TEN THOUSANDS FISTS IN THE AIRRR!"

Asura shot his eyes open and asked "Who sings this song?"

Then a hooded figure with red eyes and a huge toothy grin walked in and said "Disturbed."

Asura then asked "And who are you?"

The man then said "The Guy."

Asura then asked "Wha?"

The Guy then said "You know the Guy that is Disturbed's Mascot."

 **(The Guy- the face of Disturbed, the vengeful one, the dark messiah and a master of war, whose his real name nobody knows all that is known is that he has a animated music video and a live action music video that has him as the main character. The Guy is just badass, cause he kills Demons, a Monopoly overlord, the lies of the media and has a lot of children just look at the Lost Children cover art for Disturbed... that lot of children.)**

Then Batman walked and sat down in front of Death as he already had water out and said "Death."

Death then said "Bruce."

Batman then said "How did you..."

Death then leaned forward and stated "As you can kick metahumans asses cause your Batman, kill Demon lords cause I'm Death..."

Batman then asked "That makes no sense."

Death then stated "Like being Batman makes sense?"

Batman then stated "Cause I'm Batman!"

Death then shouted "AND I'M DEATH!"

Batman and Death were staring into each other's eyes as Deadpool appeared out of nowhere and said "NOW KISS!"

Death then punched Deadpool as a woman in black skin tight suit with cat eyes walked in with Bayonetta and Morrigan and said "Hey Batman."

Death then said "Well looks like we have the same taste..."

Batman saw Bayonetta and said "No argument here..."

Bayonetta then walked over to Death and said "So how's the bar today?"

Death then stated "Well we've got a new costumer yesterday."

Bayonetta then asked "Oh joy who is it?"

Then a woman walked in with a hood and said "Me."

Death then introduced "Meet my new student, Raven."

 **(Raven- from teen titans, (NOT GO DAMNIT!) Seriously I never knew Tara Strong would make such a great Raven voice, even in Injustice which sounds nothing like the cartoon was badass. And I just saw the Justice league vs Teen Titans movies and I gotta well played DC, having Nightwing the first Robin with Starfire and having Damian Wayne who is also Batman's son the new current Robin with Raven.**

 **They two are technically Robin just one is older than the other, so come think of it Starfire and Raven now have their own Robin right?)**

Raven then floated next to Death who said "She's running away from her dad Trigon."

Bayonetta then sighed and asked "You should tell me when we're adopting children Death before you go and do it."

Raven then stated "But he's Death."

Bayonetta then argued "I'm the Lady of time which makes Death my bitch."

Death then hid under the counter as Raven saw it and said "Nice."

* * *

 **Dragoritus in: HYPE AND THEN RAGE!**

 **I AM VERY DISGUSTED WITH YOU CARTOON NETWORK.**

 **You know you having Powderpuff girls a new show does not mean it should be A FUCKING PARODY OF MEMES!**

 **The Powderpuff girls twerking... that's in every way WRONG!**

 **Although it's better that Teen Titans Go and has Monster Island which I am glad that there's still monsters and a cameo of Godzilla, I won't say it's as good as the original and yes I am going to compare it to the original because:**

 **1\. it looks like the original**

 **2\. it's a childhood memory**

 **3\. it doesn't have the heroes being the heroes like they should**

 **THIS SHOW HAS ALREADY GOTTEN A KNIFE IN MY BACK AND I'M VERY ARAID THAT SAMURAI JACK'S REVIVAL MIGHT NOT BE GOOD BUT SEEING THAT A MAJORITY OF THE ORIGINAL PEOPLE WHO WORKED ON THE FIRST ONE I WILL NOT SAY IT WIL BE BAD I'M JUST VERY CAUTIOUS NOW.**

 **Now with that out of the way, I just saw Justice League vs Teen Titans and I love it, not only do we have a Robin who is also Batman's son in this movie seemingly in a love interest with Raven. We have a better Teen Titans, though it may not be as the old Titans I can accept that this one does not insult anyone though I wouldn't mind them giving punches to Go.**


	33. Chapter 26: Fall damage?

Episode 26: I can't FUCKING take fall damage you little shit!

 **(Dragoritus (Palming face)- OP... look if I wanted a Villains pub like HISHE I would be a loser for copying that shit If I wanted yo go that route I would have named the bar "THE BAR OF HEROES" but that's cheesy as hell, and having the villains of the main cast would be pointless seeing that even Vaillains are badasses in the bar.**

 **Deadpool- In other words EAT MORE OF HIS SHIT!**

 **Dragoritus- STOP IT! YOUR JUST SHOVING WORDS IN MY MOUTH!**

 **Deadpool- Duuuuuh!**

 **Dragoritus- ... I hate you... but yet I love you no homo.**

 **Deadpool- Why not?**

 **Dragoritus- Well I'm not homosexual but I have friends who are but I can't say their names for safety issues.**

 **Deadpool- Liar.**

 **Dragoritus- I'm not my mom asshole!**

 **Deadpool- It's pronounced badass!**

 **Dragoritus- ...God damn your awesome! Any who OP I also do not play PC games cause I can't really afford that shit and I like to have a physical copy it makes me feel...**

 **Death- like actually has value?**

 **Dragoritus- Yeah. Now for that TVTropes 30H's thing... I groaned in annoyance when I saw it was Harry Potter and Dobby the two characters I just hate in that series... and then heard the phrase "Groin chainsaw."**

 **Deadpool- That sound oddly familiar...**

 **Dragoritus- Because... REN AND STEMPY ALREADY DONE SOMETHING SIMILAR! AND IT WAS** **DISTURBING AS FUCK! AND NOW THIS?! I'm sorry I'm not going to read that for one it's sounds just dumb with two wimpy characters.**

 **Deadpool- Plus he hates them so he's stubborn like that**

 **Dragoritus- You damn right I'm stubborn about it cause Harry Potter has the most disorganized** **characterization I have ever seen... and Dobby... well is just too wimpy to be badass he's had heroic moments which doesn't make him a Badass. I'm talking like the guys who can take on an army by themselves badass, or planetary destroying god killer badass or just Death.**

 **Death- Ha!**

 **Deadpool- Hey Death how's your new adopted daughter?**

 **Death- better than your movie's girlfriend who won't fuck you any more just sit on your face.**

 **Deadpool- Hey that was not nice!**

 **Death- Do I look like a nice person?**

 **Dragoritus- I just found out more reasons why Death is more badass than Link!**

 **Death- Why me?! Why not War?**

 **Dragoritus- Because your Death and he's not.**

 **Death- Your gonna make me fight Pretty Green again?!**

 **Dragoritus- Yeah... until I can find a way to buy some of the three games of zelda I'm willing to play.**

 **Death- You soulless bastard!**

 **Dragoritus- Does that mean you can't reap me? If you know what I mean... (Raises eye bows twice)**

 **Death- one your not Bayonetta.**

 **Bayonetta- Oh how sweet.**

 **Death- two I hate you.**

 **Dragoritus- OHHHH RIGHT IN THE HEART! NOW WITH THE SHOW!**

IN THE LEGENDARY BAR OF BADASSES!

Death was cleaning the counter with Raven talking with Rodin and warned "I like Batman but no."

Raven then stated "We're not dating if that's what your thinking I've got beast boy for that."

Death then shouted "NO! I'M NOT GONNA LET YOU DATE A BOY WHO CAN CHANGE INTO ANY ANIMAL IN EXISTENCE BECAUSE OF THE THOUGHT OF... THAT B WORD.

Raven then asked "B word?"

Death then grumbled "Beastiality..."

Robin ran into the bathroom to throw up as Raven said "Dad!"

Death the said "Just saying no!"

The the bar doors slammed open as Bayonetta walked in and asked "How's my two favorite family members doing?"

Death then said "Just saying no."

Bayonetta then asked "To what?"

Raven then stated "To me dating someone."

Bayonetta then slapped the back of Death's head and said "And we went out for about four months before you proposed to me!"

 **(Dragoritus- Few days** **technically but time... how does its work?** )

Bayonetta then sat in Rodin's seat and asked "And whose this boy's name sweaty?"

Raven then stated "Beast boy."

Then Bayonetta quietly stood up and said "No."

Raven then shouted "OH COME ON!"

Bayonetta then asked "Have you seen what he does in his animal forms? Jesus it's like a lickathon with him!"

Death then clenched his fingers and said "I did not need hear that!"

Then Link charged in and shouted "HYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

Death then slammed his head into the counter and said "AGAIN?!"

Link then shouted "HYA!"

 **Later onto of Shredder's** **skyscraper**

Death then stated "Ok if you can survive this fall without getting hurt... or die then you win ok?"

Link then asked "Hya..."

Death sighed and tackled Link off the roof and the two fell 200 stories as Death crashed landed into the road while Link... jus splattered on it Death walked out of the crater and said "I don't take fall damage Pretty Green!"


	34. Episode 27: I feel ugh!

Episode 27: I feel... bleh!

 **Dragoritus- Hey guys and gals you miss me?**

 **Deadpool- NO!**

 **Dragoritus- That hurt... so I finally watched some, DC animated movies, old cartoons, and having to relive my childhood again.**

 **Deadpool- Oh the memories! Hey... wait a minute. (Reads review by Thedemonoverlord238)**

 **Dragoritus- Oh boy you've done it now...**

 **Deadpool- YOU CAN SUCK MY CANCEROUS BALLS!**

 **Dragoritus- ...That was disturbing to think about... WHY DO I HAVE TO TYPE THAT SHIT?! THAT'S NOT WHAT I WANT!**

 **Deadpool- Cause I'm making you my biatch!**

 **Dragoritus- You know what I could deactivate the infinite respawns... but since you can't die... there would be no point for you.**

 **Deadpool- I win!**

 **Dragoritus- At leats you Demonoverlord didn't mention a certain... X-men origins...**

 **Deadpool- What was that?**

 **Dragoritus- Nothing!**

 **Deadpool- Yeah that's what I thought bitch!**

 **Dragoritus- Ok...** **any who, just finished, Young justice and gotta say this is FUCKIN EPIC! I cannot fathom how the Badassery this show just shines on us! I FINALLY got to see some Hellsing ultimate and oh my FUCKING GOD ALUCARD IS BADASS!**

 **Deadpool- Well I know a certain girl that Dragoritus has a thing for on that show Seras' got that booty and boobies!**

 **Dragoritus- No... no I don't!**

 **Deadpool- Oh you should have seen his dreams!**

 **Dragoritus- Stop it!**

 **Deadpool- Plus he's been playing his...**

 **Dragoritus- SHUT UP!**

 **Deadpool- ...Winky Dinky.**

 **Dragoritus- (Sighs) ...Why just why would you say that... and how are you entering my fucking dreams anyway?!**

 **Yoda- The four wall breaking is very strong in this one.**

 **Dragoritus- SHUT UP YOU OLD GREEN GOBLIN!**

 **Spiderman- Hey he's not...**

 **Batman- Where's uncle Ben?**

 **Spiderman- Watching a movie at the theater with your parents!**

 **EVERYONE- DAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMN!**

 **Shao Khan- That was brutal!**

 **Dragoritus- So I've been sick lately... I still kinda am, my sleeping habits are ALL OVER THE PLACE! My dad's uncle had passed sadly and I wasn't told when the funeral was, and my sister got married and I wasn't told... Fucking life.**

 **Batman- You're telling me.**

 **Dragoritus- Where did Deadpool go?**

 **(Meanwhile in deadfall's apartment)**

 **Deadpool- Oh Domino! Where would I be without ya?**

 **Lady Death- This pizza is quite stringy.**

 **Dragoritus- You guys thought I was going to have Domino with Deadpool for a moment didn't you? So Watching some old shit here and there going back to watch Teen Titans again. FUCK GO! And I've found what is Batmetal...**

 **Batman- Alfred he's knows now.**

 **Alfred- Master Bruce...**

 **Dragoritus- You done goofed Alfred!**

 **Scarecrow- Wayne? Bruce Wayne?**

 **Dragoritus- Oh shit... Yeah I can definitely say... I am more of a DC Fan now with all the cartoons that they inspired and now with the first R rated Batman animated movie on the way... Don't worry I still love Deadpool and Ghost rider.**

 **Deadpool- Yeaaaay love you too Dragoritus!**

 **Dragoritus- Not what I meant... whatever and now I'm watching the Devil may cry anime, though I know for a fact that it's not as crazy as the games I'm enjoying it enough to actually have an interest in playing them. 1-4 that Ninja theory one... don't count.**

 **Emo Dante- Hater.**

 **Dragoritus- I don't think I deserve to roast you...**

 **Dante- You're speed is lacking, you're guns are... though original in design are pitiful to my Ebony and Ivory, and I look badass in Devil trigger.**

 **Dragoritus- Good, good tear that self righteous prick anew asshole! AND NOW ON WITH THE MOTHER FUCKING SHOW!**

IN THE LEGENDARY BAR OF BADASSES

Kratos was sitting with War and asked "So I heard you and Jeanne had it going? How was it?"

War then stated "We... had a surprise guest."

Kratos then raised a brow and asked "What?"

 **(When War and Jeanne did the nasty)**

Uriel the angel had walked in and saw what was going on and squinted her eyes and shouted "YOU!"

Jeanne then shouted "YOU!"

War then asked "What?"

The both women tackled War...

(X! Circle! SPIN BOTH STICKS! R-1! R-2! SQUARE! TRIANGLE! X X X!)

 **Currently**

Death had walked in with Raven and Bayonetta walking with him as he had clocked in and said "Ok Raven you and your mom have fun."

Raven then said "Ok dad."

Then a two tailed white wolf walked in with a young woman with wolf fur and a red mask as Death said "San and Moro welcome to the Bar!"

 **(San- from princess Mononoke, the most badass wolf girl I've ever seen to date! she kicked a man's face twice while in mid air! And the best part she's was raised by wolves!**

 **Moro- San's adopted mother, if you think San is badass then see what Moro can do despite being a wolf she is fucking badass! Like her head was shot off from her body and was still able to bite a greedy lady's arm off as her final act of badassery! IT DOESN'T GET MORE BADASS FOR WOLF THAN THAT!)**

San then asked "where's the Dragonborn? he said he'd be here."

Death then stated "I haven't seen him since... God I forgot episode it was."

Then the doors opened as the Dragonborn walked in and San tackled him and said "WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN!"

Death then said "Do I need to ask what she's... OH MY GOD HE'S WEREWOLF ISN'T HE?!"

Moro then grinned with her huge teeth and said "Indeed."

Kratos then shouted "Ok get out! I don't want any beast fucking screw here so get out and find a hotel or something!"

Then all three left as another customer walked in with a red trench coat and a red hat, he had red eyes and black hair as Death said "Alucard! My old friend!"

 **(Alucard- from the Hellsing ultimate anime, dude the episodes are like 50 minutes each, so... saying that... WHY THE FUCK DOESN'T ANY MAINSTREAM ANIME DO THIS?! Sorry getting off track... Alucard... how can I explain him... Ok I got nothing other than if Deadpool and Dante had a baby and it became a vampire... Alucard would be the result**

 **Deadpool- HEY PRINCESS OF THE TWILIGHT SAGA THIS IS A REAL VAMPIRE!)**

Alucard then grinned with his iconic creepy grin and said "Death still trying to persuade me to die?"

Death then stated "if I wanted you dead you'd be dead by now you're body might survive but your soul... not so much."

Then another armoed First person shooter walked in and stood there silently as Death said "Doom slayer!"

 **(Doom slayer, Dooom Marine or Doom guy- This guy is so fucking badass he doesn't need to talk while killing Demons! I recently played the new Doom and OH MY GOD IS IT AMAZING! I Thoutht killing Demons in Darksiders was fun... this takes it to a whole another level!)**

Doom slayer then held his hand up as if he was asking for a drink as Death said "Demon blood it is then."

Death then pulled out a small demon that was the size of a orange and crushed it in his hand pouring a glass of Demon blood, guts and hellish organs as the Doom slayer walked up grabbed the glass and dipped it on his suit and rubbed it in and walked back out. Death then said "Not sure if he was getting off by rubbing demon blood all over himself... or he's trying to fit in with the demons..."

 **Sorry I haven't been around more often, a family member had recently passed away, I ran out of Badasses, and I got sick, so I apologize for the delays of all the stories I'm currently focusing on.**

 **I'm going to focus on the rest of the Full chapter of Riders of the Balance story, hopefully I can get my shit together and complete that, since the preview a lot of things and happened and I think I may have forgotten a few things so it will take some time for me to again get my shit together.**


	35. Episod 28: SICK AND STILL RAGING!

Episode 28: SICK AND STILL RAGING!

 **(Dragoritus- So I'm still sick now I'm coughing and I fuckin hate it! OP I saw the gameplay trailer... OH MY FUCKIN GOD HE'S GOT A FACE FULL OF BEARD!**

 **Chuck Norris- I approve.**

 **Dragoritus- Y... Yes sir.**

 **Deadpool- Kissass!**

 **Dragoritus- Quite you!**

 **Deadpool- Bring it!**

 **Dragoritus- Ok... so I've heard many things about the design of Emo Dante in that... dysfunctional piece of shit DMC..**

 **Deadpool- Mr. Tam-Tam of Ninja Theory had to make our Badass Dante designed off of himself... FUCK YOU ATTENTION...**

 **Dragoritus- No Let me say it please you didn't play 10 minutes of that game.**

 **Deadpool- Fine... time to see you rage.**

 **Dragoritus- FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUCK YOUUUUUUUUU! ATTENTION WHORE! YOU ARE A EGOTISTICAL, SELF RIGHTIOUS, ARROGANT, PRIDEFUL ASSHOLE!**

 **Deadpool- Holy shit...**

 **Dragoritus- But I'll continued my sickness rage after** **THE MOTHERFUCKIN SHOW!**

IN THE LEGENDARY BAR OF BADASSES!

Death was with, Bayonetta, Raven, Dante, War and Asura all of which sat in the bar staring at Kratos who had grown a beard and asked "What?"

Death then said "What's with the... beard?"

Kratos then stated "My beard makes my age more badass."

War then asked "No that's Chuck Norris' beard yours makes you look like an homeless man."

Dante then joked "With a issue with flees."

While Bayonetta joked "And looks like birds nest."

Raven then said "I'm not getting myself involved in this."

Asura then laughed and joked "I can't feel any manliness from you yet."

Kratos then squinted his eyes and said "You done?"

Death then asked "So what's with the beard?"

Kratos then placed his hands on his hips in a proud moment and said "I'm now a Spartan and a Viking!"

Deadpool then teleported in and asked "And how the hell does that work?"

Kratos then stated "I dunno it's just badass."

Death then pointed his hand at Kratos and stated "That makes no fucking sense!"

Kratos then shouted "YOU DON'T MAKE SENSE!"

Death then stated "Death makes more sense than a Demigod who became a god then was reverted back to a demigod and now is a mortal. People just fucking die in my sense."

Dante, Bayonetta and Deadpool then turn dot Death and leaned away and all said in unison "That was dark Death!"

Death then shrugged and joked "Good thing it's Darksiders."

Then suddenly a the doors opened and the iconic breathing was heard and the theme of star wars was heard as a man in black armor and a cape was seen as deadpan then said "Darth Vader my man!"

 **(Darth Vader- Once he was known as Anakin Skywalker a Jedi apprentice who couldn't keep his dick to himself, but after the stresses of the Clones wars and a vision of his wife pregnant wife dying while also being manipulated into the Darkside by a Sith lord he was given a choice to save the galaxy and possibly prevent his wife's death or try to save his wife by helping destroying the only hope in the galaxy... the Jedi knights.**

 **But after get his limbs cut off except the one that was already cut off in the 2nd film and burned by molten lava, and finally loosing his wife and twin children he became the most badass space samurai to ever lived... Darth Vader.**

 **Deadpool- Holy shit that was... AWESOME!)**

Then Death asked "Darth Vader... oh wait HEY KYLO REN GUESS WHO?!"

Darth Vader then said "Please he has an obsession over me..."

Then a similar looking warrior walked out from the bathroom and saw Vader and raised both hands in the air and gasped and said "GOHHHH PAPY!"

 **(Kylo Ren- Darth Vader's grandson and seems to have a obsession over him... I mean who wouldn't? He's fuckin Darth Vader God dammit!)**

Darth Vader the used the force to throw lo out of the bar and said "Sonny I am disappoint!"

Then Kratos was seen in the background rubbing his beard near a mirror with chuck Norris' picture on it and quietly said "Notice me Senpai..."

Bayonetta along with Death and Raven walked out with Dante following all stood in front of the bar as death asked "Who wants ice cream?"

Then Raven said "Sounds nice dad."

Bayonetta then said "Oh your cream?"

Dante then walked passed and coughed "That's what she said! Oh sorry but yeah as long as I get a strawberry sunday."

Death then squinted his eyes at Dante and said "Why are you with us?"

Dante then stated "I wanted a Strawberry sunday... cause I've got no money."

Death then sighed and said "Fine... but you'll have to kill a certain half demon for me."

Dante then asked "Ok who?"

 **Later**

Dante and Death were in the crime part of town as Death pointed at the walking Emo Dante and said "That bastard! The guy tried to grope Raven's ass but I caught him though he escaped."

Dante then said "But nothing escapes Death."

Death then said "That's why you're here."

But then Emo Dante ran into Asura who recognized him from death and Bayonetta's wedding and shouted "YOUUUUUUU!"

Asura quickly grabbed Emo Dante and held him over head and rip him in half and began to punch him over and over again until he was punching through the Earth to the other side and threw Emo Dante back on the ground and proceeded to punch Emo Dante back to the other side and slammed him on the ground. Dante then reached out his hand and said "Jobs done."

Death then glared at Dante who gave a grin as Death said "Asura... Dante here had a problem and it seemed to be about your daughter."

Dante frowned and glared at Death who then said "You don't see it but I'm grinning evilly."

Then Asura shouted "DAAAAAAAANNNNNTEEEEEEE!"

Dante then ran as Asura chased after him while Death turned around and walked as Dante shouted "But death will eventually get her!"

Death froze as Asura shouted "DEAAAAAAAAATH!"

Death then squinted his eyes and said "Oh... shit!"

 **Theory of the Ninja... fuck you Tameem Antoniades**

 **I may be sick and feeling like shit but my raging anger grows even more at this state...**

 **Deadpool- Think of his power level increasing after hitting 9,000.**

 **But Mr. Tameeem... sorry you don't even deserve the title Mr. Ohhh Tamee you're AN ATTENTION WHORE, BAD DUBSTEP LOVING, UNFRIENDLY, UNLOVABLE, YOU TALK SHIT ABOUT THE FANS AND BAYONETTA!**

 **STRIKE 1**

 **YOU INSULT THE FANS OF DEVIL MAY CRY WITH THE NOW TITLED "YWC: YOU WILL CRY! IN RAGE" AND COMPLETELY FUCK UP BY DESIGNING DANTE AS.. YOU!**

 **STRIKE 2**

 **YOU FLAT OUT SAID AS YOU MAKE GAMES THAT ONLY "YOU" WOULD PLAY AND THAT THE FANS' OPINIONS DO NOT MATTER EVEN THOUGH THE STORY OF YOU WILL CRY IS SHIT! AND I SAW WHAT THE SUCCUBUS LOOKED LIKE...**

 **EVEN THE DEFINITION OF A SUCCUBUS FELT INSULTED FROM THAT DISGUSTING MAGOOT-LIKE DESIGN!**

 **BUT WORST OF ALL...**

 **DANTE AND VERGIL AS CHARACTERS... I CAN'T EVEN!**

 **AWKWARD VERGIL IS A PUSSY IN THIS GAME, GOD I CAN'T EVEN, AT LEAST THE OLD ONE WOULD KILL SOMEONE FROM THE FRONT! AND HAD FUCKING HONOR! PLUS HE HAS A LOT OF AKWARD SILENCES FOR NO FUCKING REASON!**

 **EMO DANTE IS A EMO ASSHOLE AND APPEARS TO HAVE A LOT OF CASUAL SEX, HIS TRENCH COAT IS MEDIOCORE AT BEST, HIS HAIR LOOKS LIKE YOURS! BUT THE WORST THING YOU DID TO HIM WAS TO HAVE A RUNNING GAG (INSULT) OF WHITE HAIR ON HIS HEAD AND MAKING HIM TEAR IT OFF AND SAID "NOT IN A MILLION YEARS!"**

 **STRIKE 3 YOU'RE FUCKED THE FANS OF THIS SERIES IN THE ASS AND I CAN HEAR THEIR VOICES FROM ALL THE WAY DOWN HERE!**

 **Deadpool- Since when did you get super hearing?!**

 **AND THE WAY YOU EXPLAINED OF THE TWO OF THEM BEING NEPHILIM IS COMPLETELY SHIT! IF THE THEY WEREN'T ABLE TO BE CONCEIVED THEN HOW DID THOSE TWO COME TO BE?!**

 **HELL DARKSIDERS DOESN'T STAY COMPLETELY TRUE TO THE BIBLE AND HAS IT'S OWN LORE AND STILL MANAGES TO HAVE THE NEPHILIM PROTAGONISTS LOOK BADASS!**

 **You make me even more sick by looking at the comparison picture of you and Emo Dante!**

 **Deadpool- Ok laid your ass down hahaha! your gonna make yourself throw up from this shit!**

 **Dragoritus- You know... I wouldn't doubt it.**


	36. Episode 29: When Critics are dumb

Episode 29: FUCK THE CRITICS!

 **Dragoritus- I just saw Suicide Squad and man do I love it!**

 **Deadpool- Hey don't tell him but I broke the forth wall and entered his mind and watched the movie... it's ok...**

 **Dragoritus- Ok? You call half a** **country in magical weather destructive vortex that could have destroyed the entire human population Ok? So far Marvel's excuse for destruction is always city based.**

 **Deadpool- Age of Ultron and the X-men.**

 **Dragoritus- Age of Ultron the entire city was used as a meteorite but it did not destroy the entire planet which I might add MAN OF STEEL HAD STARTED THE MOVIE WITH A PLANET BEING BLOWN UP! Plus I don't count the X-men due to the different studios.**

 **Deadpool- Good point.**

 **Dragoritus- Yeah I liked the new movie but more FUCKING HEAD BASHING RAGE!**

 **Deadpool- Inferno666, No One, and OP all reviewed.**

 **Dragoritus- No One can't do Strife cause he hasn't proven his badassery quite yet, he needs his own game and adventure and no Fury either cause we know literally nothing about her other than she uses a whip and her name is Fury oh and she's kinda like Death and War loyal to the council and family comes first deal.**

 **Deadpool- Inferno666 shots fired from him and respects from me... to you!**

 **Dragoritus- Ok Kenshiro never heard of him but might have seen him before just don't remember... PunisherI don't care what people say the movies were great in their own way. Whiteboard... I don't watch One piece so no.**

 **Deadpool- How long has it been going?**

 **Dragoritus- Last time I checked it had over 700 episodes, THAT'S TOO MANY EPISODES FOR ONE MAINSTREAM ANIME! And I know nothing of Whitebeard other than he died standing... got to admit that's badass but still I don't watch one piece cause you know when one anime has that many episodes in my opinion it's time to let it rest or just ruin it to the ground.**

 **Deadpool- Comics do it all the time.**

 **Dragoritus- Yeah but at least we get stories that have an beginning and an end, like how Batman the dark knight returns, though it has sequels the first story had a beginning middle and ending which ended that part of the life of our favorite characters.**

 **Deadpool- So what are we doing here now?**

 **Dragoritus- We're going swimming... end of the summer baby! ON WITH MOTHER FUCKING SHOW!**

WITH THE BADASS CREW IN THE BADASS POOL OF BADASSES (OK WHERE'S THE FUCKER WHO MADE ME TYPE THIS SHIT?)

Death, Kratos, Spyro and Prophet were underwater as if they were meditating while above Master chief, Doom Guy and Marcus Feinix were reading to swim but then Lara Croft appeared and said "Ok swimming practice starts... NOW!"

 **(Lara Croft- Badass British woman like Bayonetta not as powerful.**

 **Marcus Fenix- This man... one of the four burly manly men in Gears of war to have a great fucking BBF team of men! Marcus is just fucking badass hell he's grown a beard in gears 4 and gotten old... but that beard!)**

Then Master chief dropped into the water as his overshield depowered and he drowned, while Doom Guy dropped into the water but he sank but before he could... Thumbs up!

Marcus then shouted "HEY IS THERE SOME KIND OF INVISABLE WALL?! I CAN REACH TO THE FUCKING WATER!"

Lara then said "Maybe I should have... thought this through..."

Then suddenly a badass with a black trench coat and a skull on his shirt walked by with a biker that was skeleton with his skull on fire, along with another man with his skull on fire but it was purple flamed as Deadpool shouted "HEY PUNSIHER?! WHEN ARE YA GONNA GET A GOOD MOVIE? OH YOU TOO GHOST RIDER AND ATOMIC SKULL... YOU NEED MORE ATTENTION BRO!"

 **(The** **Punisher- He's the Batman of Marvel, lost his wife and children plus his entire family if you count the movie, but anyway this fucker kills, manipulates his enemies into killing each other or he kills them himself but in the end he is always punishing the guilty and knows it goes against his beliefs but he accepts that he might never be happy again.**

 **Ghost Rider- He's a fucking skeleton biker with his head on fire enough said! Why can't we have a biker gang of these guys?!**

 **Atomic skull- Depending on which one the atomic skull is either a Red skull knockoff or a Ghost Rider knockoff but is always assoiated with atomic energy. I like the Purple flamed Atomic skull he and Ghost Rider should make a gang of bikers together... even though marvel own Ghost rider and DC own Atomic skull...)**

Then all three without a word looked at Deadpool seriously but kept walking as Lady Death said "You shouldn't piss off those guys their moody."

 **GAAAAHHHHHHHH RAAAAAAAAAGE!**

 **I FUCKING HATE THE CRITICS THAT'S WHY I SEE THE MOVIE FOR MYSELF!**

 **SUICIDE SQUAD WAS GREAT I WON'T SPOIL ANYTHING BUT WILL SAY:**

 **HARLEY QUINN IS FANTASTIC!**

 **JOKER IS GREAT!**

 **WILL SMITH IS STILL BADASS JUST NEEDED A FILM TO PROVE IT AGAIN!**

 **And I also realized... there's really no way you can fuck up the Joker, cause you know the Joker can have any story he chooses cause he prefers it that way, Jared Leto's Joker is not Heath Ledger's and that's good because no actor who played as Joker actually portrays him in the exact same way!**

 **This Joker though we know little about, which is good since the movies isn't called "THER JOKER!" showed that Joker can be a Crime boss! as well as a psychopath!**

 **I don't look for the bad in films but it's clear that Critics (Not all of them though) don't know shit about having fun with a movie!**

 **Oh Powderpuff girls and Teen Titans go crossover... WHAT. THE. FUCK?**

 **Another Ben 10 reboot... Seriously?! And the animation looks even worse than Omniverse. I miss the original animation style of Ben 10 cause that was the exact same style as Teen Titans. (FUCK GO)**

 **Plus Vilgax was a badass alien villain.**

 **Deadpool- Jesus... You alright?  
**

 **Dragoritus- I am RAAAAAAAGING HERE!**

 **Deadpool- Ok...**

 **Next time: Episode 30: season finale!**


	37. Episode 30: A BADASS BAR FIGHT STARTED

Episode 30: BAR FIGHT!

 **Dragoritus- WHY DOES EVERYONE THINK THIS IS GOING TO BE THE LAST EPISODE FOR THE SERIES?!**

 **Deadpool- Yo readers! A season does not equal a series!**

 **Dragoritus- anyway I've been focusing on jokes and stuff while keeping fights to a minimum but now we're gonna END THIS MOTHER FUCKING SEASON 1 WITH A EPIC BADASS BAR FIGHT OF HISTORY!**

IN THE LEGENDARY BAR OF BADASSES!

Death was cleaning the bar counter when suddenly the wall exploded and the badass force of nature that killed Superman walked out and roared "I WILL DESTROY YOU ALL!"

 **(Doomsday- the one motherfucker that can kill superman by beating him to** **death... what's more badass than kicking the man of steel's ass?)**

Death then asked "ABSALOM! YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE I HAVE TO CLEAN THAT MESS!"

Then Absalom who would behind Doomsday the two had looked very much alike as Death said "Since when did you get a kid?"

Absalom and Doomsday roared and charged at Death who used his Reaper fists to grab the two and threw them back out the hole as Kratos walked out and saw his bar wall had been blow up and crashed his beer can in his hand and shouted "WHO DID THIS TO MY BAR?!"

Then Kratos saw Doomsday and Absalom facing Death and pulled out his blades of chaos and charge at Doomsday and Absalom while Asura walked in from the door and saw that right across from him was a giant hole in the wall and said "Well I could have just walked through that..."

Deadpool had appeared out of nowhere and cut Absalom's fingers off and shouted "NO TOUCHING!"

Death had glowed purple and exploded into a massive reaper storm catching both Absalom and Doomsday in it while Kratos had shouted "I AM THE GOD OF WAR!"

Then thunderbolts struck all around him while Deadpool was laid back while being in the reaper storm and asked "Loving the fight yet readers?"

Then Absalom threw his axe out while Mithra walked in and said "Father..."

Then the axe stuck near Mithra who shouted "EEEEP!"

Asura's eyes glowed whit and shouted "THAT'S MY DAUGHT YOU JUST ATTACKED!"

Asura then jumped into the storm and using his mantra of wrath, combined with Death's reaper storm and Kratos' thunderbolts Deadpool had sunglasses on and eating popcorn through his mask and said "The effects are amazing!"

Then Asura punched Doomsday into space and shouted "YOU STAY OUT OF THE BAR!"

Asura then ripped Absalom's left arm off and punched his head off and shouted "AND YOU JUST DIEEEEEEE!"

Then suddenly Goku arrived and asked "Hey guys need any help?"

Then another saiyan appeared but he was bigger, bulkier and taller than Goku as Death said "Broly."

 **(Broly- the one movie villain that had great potential but then after his first appearance they shat on him. Now he's a mindless beast that only wants to kill... especially Goku who he shouts "KAKAROT!")**

Goku then squinted his eyes and said "Broly."

Then Broly had charged at the six as Deadpool stabbed Broly's back with both katanas who ignored the pain and kept charging with Deadpool hanging on for dear life and shouted "HOLY SHIT SLOW THE FUCK DOWN!"

Death then changed into his Reaper form, holding his scythe as Kratos pulled out the gauntlets took from Hercules and growled while Asura crossed his arms with a serious look while Goku shouted while cuffing his hands together "KAME... HAME... HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA"

Death then summoned the souls of the dead while Kratos slammed his gauntlets on the ground causing tremors while Asura used his fist to fire a wrath blast while Deadpool saw the incoming attacks and said "Oh shit..."

Deadpool then pulled out two hand guns and shoot Broly in the back of the head and jumped off and ran behind cover as Goku's kamemeha wave, Asura's wrath blast, Kratos' tremor slam and Death's souls all combined and hit Broly reducing him to dust. Then death changed back as Goku held his fists up while Asura smirked and bro fist with Goku's right fist, while Kratos pulled off his gauntlet and bro fist with Goku's right while keeping his left fist free and Death's reaper fist bro fist with Kratos.

Then suddenly a thunderbolt struck as Zeus, Chakravartin the creator form, Super Buu, Abaddon fallen angel form, Aesir god form, Mundus and Sauron towering dark knight form all appeared, then Bayonetta, Dante, Talion and War appeared with the Bar's allies as Deadpool who had rugged his back under his allies popped his head out the ground and looked up to see Bayonetta's ass right above him and gave a satisfied look and said while a pirate hat and beard appeared on him "I found the booty!"

Then Death stomped on Deadpool's head back underground and said "Don't even think about it!"

Then Asura leaped at Chakravartin, as Death, Dante took on Mundus, Bayonetta facing Aesir, Goku took on Super Buu, while War and Talion took on Abaddon and Sauron. Dante had cut off Mundus' wings while Death used his Harvester scythe and decapitated the demon king, while Asura and Chakravartin had repeatedly punched each other's knuckles until Deadpool shot Chakravartin in the forehead and gloated "I KILLED A GOD! I KILLED A GOD!"

Goku then used his spririt bomb on Super Buu destroying him completely as Talion defeated Sauron and sent him back to his dark tower, while War had tore the wings off of Abaddon and stabbed his chest. Kratos had just punched Zeus' face until there was nothing but the ground left.

Then everyone turned towards the bar as Kratos shouted "DEATH GET TO WORK AND CLEAN THIS MESS!"

Death then shouted "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!"

 _End of season 1_

 **Deadpool- You guys and gals who though this was the last chapter for the series... shame on you! there's a big difference between a season and a series damnit!**

 **Dragoritus- Yeah Have to end a season off need to focus on other stories but don't worries when I feel like it I'll be back for more... this is Dragoritus saying:**

 **SEE YOU NEXT TIME AT THE BAR OF BADASSES SEASON 2 EPISODE 1!**


	38. Season 2 Trailer

Season 2 trailer: Badasses are reborn not remade

In a void of of eternal darkness a statue stood, but yet only glimpses of the statue is shown, a large figure standing with a staff, he wore his coat without putting his arms through his sleeves, his eyes closed, his mustache in a U shape.

Few badasses go to Badass hell cause let's be honest... going to a badass heaven would be child's play compared to raising hell in Badass hell...

 **Deadpool- DUDE WE GET IT! CAPTIAN WHITEBOARD IS THE CLOSEST THING TO CHUCK NORRIS AS ANY ANIME CHARACTER CAN GET BY DYING STANDARDS... Oh hi readers you miss us?**

(EXPLOSIONS!)

 **Dragoritus- CUT! CUT! CUT! DAMNIT WHO HIRED MICHEAL BAY AS MY EXPLOSION'S MANAGER?**

 **Paramount- Uhhhhhh...**

 **Dragoritus- YOU'RE FIIIIIIIIRED!**

 **Unknown British accent voice- LET THE CRUCIBLE GAMES BEGIN!**

Join The Badasses in their new chaotic adventure, the fabled Death games has come, all must fight or all will... what? suck the balls of Deapdool, who that fuck wrote this script?

 **Deadpool- (Rolls on the floor laughing hysterically)**

(Long wait)

 **Deadpool- YO!**

 **Dragoritus- what?**

 **Deadpool- You forgot the title!**

 **Dragoritus- Oh sorry...**

 _THE BAR OF BADASSES SEASON 2: TOTAL ANARCHY!_

 **Deadpool- YAAAAAAAY ANARCKY!**

 **Tiny Tina- BADBOOOM!**

 **...**

 **Master Hand- You did not think me gone forever did you Gaverville?**


	39. episode 31: BEARDS!

Episode 31: GEARS OF WAR 4... IS AWESOME!

 **Dragoritus- Hey guys and gals you miss me?**

 **Deadpool- YOU NEED TO CALL OUT THA MOTHERFUCKIN TROLL!**

 **Dragoritus- I missed you too Deadpool.**

 **Deadpool- WHY WON'T YOU TEAR THAT FUCKER PART... VERBALLY READERS.**

 **Dragoritus- I don't want to it won't prove anything if I did.**

 **Deadpool- HE CALLED YOU A SHIT WRITER... EVEN THOUGH YOU DELETED HIS REVIEW!**

 **Dragoritus- The review wasn't irrelevant to the story, and technically speaking from what I understand Fanfiction is full of shit writers but that's** **fan fiction dude you can't expect us all to be professional writers.**

 **Deadpool- Fuck you!**

 **Dragoritus- You would want too.**

 **Deadpool- Don't mind if I do.**

 **Dragoritus- ... I was not expecting that.**

 **Trevor- Pull down your pants... lets fuck.**

 **Dragoritus- 0_o**

 **Deadpool- :)**

 **Trevor- :(**

 **Death- STOP THAT SHIT!**

 **Dragoritus- ...Ok.**

 **Saitama- HEY THAT'S MY LINE!**

 **Dragoritus- Oh yeah I saw One punch man... amazing.**

 **Deadpool- My dick!**

 **Dragoritus- What The Actual Fuck?!**

 **Saeko- So when does the party start?**

 **Dragoritus- Hmm... nice.**

 **Deadpool- That ass...**

 **Asura- Those boobs...**

 **Kratos- I just want the pussy!**

 **Death- I'm married.**

 **Bayonetta- THAT'S RIGHT THIS MAN IS MINE... BUT I DON'T MIND SHARING.**

 **Deadpool- Really?**

 **Whitbeard- These are my new mates.**

 **Asura- YOU TOO WEAK!**

 **Whitebeard (punches ground causing earthquakes)**

 **Asura- PFFFT! (jumps in space punching the moon into Chakravartin's eye)**

 **Death- STOP! THIS IS BRINGING ONLY BRING THE BALANCE TO A SHIT STORM!**

 **Kratos and Whitebeard- Sorry...**

 **Dragoritus- Well... that was easy. NOW ON WITH THE MOTHERFUCKIN SHOW!**

IN THE NEW AND IMPROVED BAR OF BADASSES!

Death had huffed and groaned annoyingly as he had rebuilt the entire bar...

* * *

 **Deadpool (speaking as if it was a commercial)- NOW WITH FIGHTING RINGS, AND RANDOM SEXY BABES.** **POSSIBLE DEATH BY SHEERE BADASSERY IS HIGHLY POSSIBLE AND WITH BEER SOLD SEPARATELY.**

* * *

Death then brought Kratos and Asura who both nodded but Kratos with his magnificent beard asked "Senpai?"

Suddenly Chuck Norris appeared with his beard shining gold and said "I approve this bar!"

Kratos then teared up and said "Please notice me..."

Then suddenly Chuck norris was gone, vanished in thin air as a man in a yellow jump suit with a bald head and a bored expression walked in as a scram was heard "ONE PUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNCH!

The man then asked "Hey anyone here got a beer?"

 **Saitama- The One Punch man... almost every fight he ends with one punch with the exception of that finale bad guy who died by One Serious punch! Motherfucker is bored and is a hero for fun and is funny as hell. Though I do feel bad for Super Sega Sonic was it? What ever... he accidentally has his balls land on Saitama's fist making him tremble in pain.**

 **Deadpool- Holy shit... I like this guy already.**

Death then said "Sure Saitama what's your poison?"

Saitama then asked "Anything that CAN get me drunk?"

Death then sighed and said "You know... there is the the Drunken soul... But only few were able to survive it."

Saitama then asked "Give it to me!"

Chuck Norris the repaired and gave a thumbs up and said "You will survive cause I said so."

Saitama then waved and said "Thanks dad."

Death then looked at Saitama and said "He's your dad?"

Seriatim then bobbled his head and said "Who taught me to One Punch everything?"

Death then sighed and gave Saitama his drink and after drinking it Saitama fell back and walked out with his arms singling around and said "I'MA GONNA FIGHT ASURA HE'LL FIGHT ME AND SURVIVE RIGHT?!"

Death then looked at the bottle and said "Damn... I never get drunk from that."

Then Link walked in and shouted "HYAAAA!"

Death pointed at Link and stated "EVERYTIME YOU MAKE THAT NOISE I SWEAR YOU BEING FUCKED IN THE ASS BY SOMETHING!"

Link then pouted as Death asked "What is it this time Pretty Green?"

Link then shouted "HYAAAA!"

Death then poured him the Drunken soul and said "Go ahead..."

Link then drank it as his eyes whitened and he fell back as his soul floated out and Death said "So that's it looks like when people drink this huh? Nice."

Then Marcus Fenix walked in with his magnificent beard and said "HEY DEATHW HERE'S KRATOS WE WERE SUPPOSED TO TEACH OUR SONS A LESSON AN HOUR AGO?!"

Kratos walked out and said "Just had to re-open the bar Fenix... let's do this!"

Marcus then stated "That's my line!"

Both bearded badasses left the bar as a black space marine walked in and shouted "DEATH WHERE ARE THE SPLIT LIPS?!"

* * *

 **Sargent Johnson- I can't even express the sheer power level of his badassery, he's or was Master Chief's badass black guy who would kick some alien ass even jokes that Master chief would one day land on something as stubborn as him. R.I.P Sarge... you are missed.**

 **Vegeta- IT'S OVER 9,000!**

 **Dragoritus- Ok...**

* * *

Death then stated "Arbiter isn't here he's with the chief."

Johnson then ran out as a man with a white U shaped mustache walked through the bar wall as Death eyes glowed red and shouted "I JUST REBUILD THE BAR YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE!"

* * *

 **Whitebeard- Guy's punches can start earthquakes and he died standing... STANDING!**

 **Deadpool- YOU DO NOT WANT TO FUCK WITH THIS GUY!**

 **Hulk- HULK ANGRY!**

 **Dragoritus- Hey Hulk isn't that the Puny god who hit your face with a hammer?**

 **Hulk- HULK SMASH!**

* * *

Death then ran at Captain Whiteboard and dropped kicked him to the ground and shouted "YOU'RE PAYING FOR THAT!"

Whitebeard then gave Death a sack of gold as death took it and said "Now that's over what's your poison?"

Whitebeard then smirked and said "Drunk soul."

Death gave the ENTIRE BOTTLE to Whiteboard who drank it all and said "Hmm... strawberry flavor?"

Death then widened his eyes as Whitebeard stood up and was completely still as Death asked "Hey captain you alright?"

Whitebeard didn't answer as his eyes closed while Death grunted and shouted "HE FUCK DIED STANDING?! JESUS CHRIST!"

 **Gears of war 4 MICROSOFT YOU DONE GOOD WITH GEARS OF WAR!**

 **I am very relieved that Gears 4 was done right compared to Halo 5, Halo 4 was fine by story standards but Halo 5 you sicken me.**

 **Though I am a bit disappointed with a few things with gears of war 4, some Swarm designs I think feel unworthy compared to the Locusts and Lambent, while they are new and an interesting concept their design to me feel less...**

 **I say it, If I wanted compare the Swarm to the Locusts in terms of looks the Locusts take it due to their armor designs and of course my personal favorite Locust order, The Therons... especially RAAM.**

 **I like the idea of the Swarm but I also would have liked them to have badass armor like the Locusts had, the Deebees I'm ok with them since Gears has had Jack for sometime It was only a matter of time till we got some battle bots.**

 **But my only true disappointment was... the MOST important thing in the game, I NEED COLE TRAIN IN EVERY ACT I'm sorry but He's just too badass to just be grounded to the final act.**

 **And also... Anya's grave... oh I forgot (SPOILER ALERT) I wanted to know how she died... and I didn't we grave nothing more.**

 **Plus Garry Carmine wasn't part of your squad I mean of course all carmines have to die in one way or another but Garry's death... was disappointing compared to Anthony and Ben's, I still think Clay was meant to be the Carmine that survives.**

 **But I do like... the new characters interactions.**

 **Jade's speaker bot is officially the new carmine.**

 **Marcus Fenix's beard!**

 **Old man Hoffman is still alive... and in a wheelchair.**

 **Easter eggs**

 **Giant motherfucking playable robots... the Pacific rim game we needed.**

 **And. that. cliff hanger ending... was not expected and I look forward to the future games.**


	40. Episode 32: Death's family life

Episode 32: The Fuck-a-thon

 **Dragoritus- ... Really? The Fuck-a-thon?**

 **Deadpool- What you don't like it?**

 **Dragoritus- I have a feeling you're trying to make an orgy episode... won't happen EVER!**

 **Deadpool- Why not?**

 **Dragoritus- Too many X's and circles for my tastes.**

 **Deadpool- HAHAHA!**

 **Momonga- Can we get started I would like to see the bar.**

 **Dragoritus- And I finally watched the Overlord anime too, gotta say when I see a skeleton overlord I can only imagine him in english dub, and man I think it works, kinda like how Fullmetal alchemist's dub really works.**

 **Deadpool- Oh you finally watched an episode of Teen Titans go.**

 **Dragoritus (growls in rage and annoyance)- I'll get to that later... ohhh that episode. Such deceptive nature!**

 **Deadpool- Dude your aura is glowing red...**

 **Dragoritus- Didn't notice... ohh fuck that show... (sees Young justice season 3 announced) HURRAY THERE IS SOMETHING TO LOOK FORWARDS TOO!**

 **Deadpool- DC FAN BOY! BET YOU LOVED IT WHEN HULK LOST IN DEATH BATTLE!**

 **Dragoritus- Well I don't like these Marvesl movies, Avengers age of ultra, Thor the dark world, Iron man 2, iron man 3, and sorta of captain america 3.**

 **Deapdool- OH YOU DO CARE ABOUT ME AND MY MOVIE!**

 **Dragoritus- Yeah... you know I loved it... plus FUCK ANYONE WHO SAYS SUICIDE SQUAD WAS TRASH.**

 **Deadpool- Well... it did have bad CGI... like Ghostbusters.**

 **Dragoritus- Ok... movies from Asylum or studies that make Mega-shark vs Giant octopus THAT'S BAD CGI!**

 **Deadpool- Good point. But the story...**

 **Dragoritus- Fans wanted a lighter toned movie they got it... you see just like in my Halo trailer from way back when... the "fans" asked they bitch about how they got EXACTLY what they wanted.**

 **Deadpool- How so?**

 **Dragoritus- Fans wanted a lighter toned DC movie, in terms of looks and feels they got a GREAT mix of both, did they lack a bit on the story? Yes but I ask why are you giving so much shit for giving fans what they want and then they bitch about it?**

 **Deadpool- Well that didn't happen to me and my plot was... ok it was all over the place I admit.**

 **Dragoritus- And yet Guardians of the Galaxy did the exact same thing and was praised for it, Suicide squad? gets hated for it...**

 **Deadpool- Well to be honest we're... used to everyone sucking Marvel's cock.**

 **Dragoritus- See that pisses me off cause Marvel started rough too don't be a hypocrite and say DC is shit compared to Marvel and see Marvel was struggling too it's just their much more experienced now... though the actors still seem to loose their interests with each movie.**

 **Deadpool- Oh so you will watch that my little pony show with me right?**

 **Dragoritus- Fine... but I refuse to become a brony... just saying I can be a fan but taking it too far is just... ugh! I'm just doing this so that people can make fun of me and joke about it.**

 **Deadpool- HAHAHA! And for that we thank you.**

 **Erza- Where's Natsu at?**

 **Deadpool- Just bend a little more... and YES PANTIES!**

 **Dragoritus- Hey Deadpool what are youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu...**

 **Erza- Huh?**

 **Dragoritus- Well I may ask...**

 **Erza- You too skinny for me.**

 **Dragoritus (Tears of rejection)- Not again...**

 **Deadpool (Pats Dragoritus' back)- There, there you might get laid one day... me on the other hand I've got my babe Lady Death!**

 **Dragoritus- DAMN IT WADE!**

 **Deadpool- Oh Dragoritus Batmd he heats it when you make a new story without finishing the last one.**

 **Dragoritus- Umm**

 **Miss Martian- HELLO MEGAN!**

 **Dragoritus- My name isn't Megan it's... (CRASH)**

 **Deadpool- Holy shit... I think we lost him... my time to shine! NOW ON WITH THE MOTEHRFUCKING COCK BLOCKING SHOW!**

IN THE LEGENDARY BAR OF BADASSES

Kratos sat in his office with his son as they practiced throwing knifes at Deadpool who shouted "I CAN'T DIE FROM THIS READERS, COME ON!"

Then Kratos' son stated "Dad I gotta go have friends who want to hang out."

Kratos then asked "Who?"

Then the door opened slamming into Deadpool who shouted "MOTHERFUCKER!"

The person opening the door was a teen as Kratos said "Sora? Nice friend son."

 **(Sora- from kingdom hearts, ugh I love kingdom hearts but sometimes I feel they need to stop over thinking shit... any ways Sora, the Teen Badass, who faced the Heartless Nobodies and the most diabolical Disney villains... oh and Final Fantasy's greatest VILLAIN OF ALL TIME... Sephiroth.**

 **The guy could kill Sora with one swing of his sword in the first game... if you had less amount of health... sora got so badass he was able to keep up with Sephiroth and win just barely... kids more badass than most.**

 **Also SoraXKairi forever!)**

Then another kid with long spiky silvery hair walked with Sora walked in as Kratos said "Riku... very nice."

 **(Riku- Sora's rival/childhood best friend... this kid was the Darth vader of Kingdom hearts... seriously turned against sora cause of Maleficent deceiving him, became obsessed of taking the Keybalde from Sora, was power thirsty to surpass Sora shit... the list goes on.**

 **But I gotta admit I've waited TOO long for Kingdom hearts 3, Kingdom hearts 2 got me hyped for it... and it only took so many spins offs and prequels to even announce** **officially for Kingdom hearts 3 after so many years... IT BETTER BE FUCKING WORTH IT!)**

Riku then asked "Oh crap it's Kratos... please we don't want any trouble we just want to hang out you know like friends..."

 _ **(Fuck spell check sometimes)**_

Kratos then squinted his eyes and thought "Friends?"

Then a memory bubble opened up as we see Kratos, Goku, Death, Asura along with others during that fight with their villains as Kratos widened his eyes and said "OHHHHH... So that is what friends are."

Kratos then waved off his son and said "We can rain another time boy."

Kratos' son then leap into the air and said "Yes thanks dad!"

Kratos had his hand on his chin and thought out loud "We need something other than jokes... in this bar... time for some action!"

 **the next morning, Death's house**

Death woke up groggy and stood up from his bed as Bayonetta still laid asleep and talked in her sleep "That's my Death meat stick... you can have it when I'm done."

Death squinted at his wife and sighed as he entered Raven's room who was awake "GET OUT!"

Death then waved his hand blocking an incoming book and said "Raven... why are you... whose that?"

Raven smirked as a green boy was seen and Death's eyes glowed and pointed his thumb out the door and warned "TEN. NINE. EIGHT. SEVEN..."

The boy had changed into a dog and ran out the door as Raven asked 'Aren't gonna chasing him dad?"

Death sighed and said "No... I just woke up. And your grounded."

Raven then sighed and said "but dad he's a good person."

Death then stated "He's also got Tera as his girlfriend."

Raven then stated "But you and mom have an open relationship."

Death then stated "Like I have a choice with your mother's wanting to share me?"

Raven then sighed and said "Oh yeah my bad..."

Death then stated "Oh and... grandpa Crowfather is coming for a visit."

Raven raised her fist in the air and said "Love Grandpa Crowfather!"

Death took a shower as Bayonetta interrupted and had her hand placed on Death's chest and said "That was fun last night wanna do it tonight?"

Death growled as he remembered him being tired up to the bed with Bayonetta, Morrigan and Mandy all taking turns.

X circle circl triangle Left stick right stick left bumper right bumper square!

Death groaned and said "No..."

Bayonetta then raised a brow and asked "No?"

Death groaned as Bayonetta other hand reach below the camera could show as Death's eyes widened and said "I mean yes..."

Bayonetta then patted Death's head and said "Good."

Death sighed in relief as Bayonetta let go of his priceless reaper gems and thought I BETTER BE ALLOWED TO HIT SOMEBODY TODAY!"

 **a few minutes later**

Death had gone to work and pulled out the bar keys as a man asked "One of those days Death?"

Death turn to see a skeleton in robes with a staff along with a fallen angel woman in white dress and yellow eyes, having her arms around the skeleton's left arm, as Death said "Oh Momonga I'm glad you finally showed up... and Albedo a pleasure to meet you."

 **(Momonga- from the anime Overlord, what do you get if you crossover SAO and One Punch man in terms of virtual world and OP? FUCKING OVERLORD IS WHAT! Momonga... which is is original name I can't remember his new name but anyway was the leader of a virtual game guild and though he was the last person known to be online as the game servers were shut down... he somehow was sent to another world.**

 **I personally just think Momonga's real life body died as a result of hunger and dehydration which after his death somehow had his personality dumped into the game or actually merged with his mind and created a whole new world of.**

 **But enough theories.. why is he so badass? HE'S THE FIRST ANIME PROTAGONIST TO BE A SKELETON OVERLORD!**

 **ENOUGH SAID!**

 **Albedo- Momonga's... love interest I would think, I like Albedo she's for one not that True vampire Set... fuck it her name is just hard to remember... but Albedo has a dark knight armor and she is obsessed with being Momonga's true wife she accepts of Momonga may want a harem but... MOMONGA DOESN'T NEED ONE HOPEFULLY!**

 **But the best part about her is that she doesn't even realize that she's just going to be banging a skeleton that has no penis... I mean the term getting a boner might be too literal here.)**

Albedo then nodded and said "A great pleasure to make your acquaintance Lord death and by the way Bayonetta invited me to..."

Death then interrupted her and said "Ohhh no..."

Albedo then stated "Don't worry I only have eyes for Lord Ainz here."

Death then sighed in relief and said "Thank you."

Then Death opened the door and saw Kratos and War fighting in the new fighting ring as Death asked "Hey why so early?"

War then blocked Kratos' kick as he stated while fighting "Kratos wants us to fight and have jokes every chance we get."

Then Kratos punched War's chin upwards as War punched Kratos' head downwards while Kratos stated "Deadpool said the jokes are getting repetitive and sloppy so we're gonna mix things up with fighting that won't make any sense but would be fucking badass anyways!"

Deadpool then waved at "YOU" and said "Your welcome readers!"

Death then stated "Took us long enough."

Then a man with a cowboy hat walked in and asked "Howdy partner can I have some whiskey?"

Death turned to see the man and said "Ahhh John Marston how's it been?"

 **(John Marston- the man of modern western gaming, guy took on his old gang buddies and their new organized outlaw gangs... and he took on a zombie apocalypse... rode all four horses of the apocalypse, committed mass genocide of the Big foot race, killed a chupracobra I think how it's spelt? and rode/killed a unicorn that had rainbows coming out it's ass...**

 **I could not make this shit up even if I wanted to.)**

John then stated "Well sir... I'm doin just fine."

Death then stated "get yourself a drink and leave the money."

Then a young woman walked in and asked "Is this the bar of badasses?"

Death turned to see the womn who had purple hair and wore a much more exposed outfit with a short skirt, black stockings, a school uniform shirt and had a katana in her hands as death asked "Miss Saeko is it?"

 **(Saeko Bushido- How to make the best anime zombie show?**

 **Step 1: Have big breasted sexy women whose boobs can defy physical** **possibilities.**

 **Step 2: Have the women be badasses with guns and katanas**

 **Step 3: Have lots of blood and gore (Mandatory)**

 **Final step: Have the women be in the middle of the zombie outbreak (No joke that's Highschool of the dead)**

 **Saeko is THE badass of the group, she's so badass she even causes some zombies to stop in fear for a moment just by her pointing a wooden sword at them and telling them to. Plus riding on top of a humvee while only wearing a thong and a kitchen apron gives her even more points.)**

Saeko then stated "Yes I'm here to accept the challenge of... Death here in the bar?"

Death lowered his eye lids and turn dots see War sweating with a hesitant smirk and stated "I'm Death miss but I didn't send you any challenge."

Saeko then stated "Too bad."

Saeko then dashed with her katana still sheathed and pointed at Death's throat and said "You dead."

Death then asked "Am I?"

Saeko looked down and saw Death had already drawn out his scythe and stabbed her with it as Death said "See you when you respawn."

Saako fell down as her body began to flash for a few moments and disappeared as Saeko ran through the door and demanded "TEACH ME SENSEI!"

Death shot his eyes open and said "How did you? Where did you? You know what sure!"

* * *

 **Deadpool- Hahaha! I messed with the** **respawn points.**

 **Dragoritus- YOU DOUCHE!**

* * *

Then thematic them music of Batman as heard as Kevin Conroy's voice was heard "I AM VENGEANCE I AM THE NIGHT I AM BATMAN!"

 **(Batman- He's the god damn Batman! who does need superpowers to kick your ass and beat super beings, cause Batman always has a plan to take down his foes sure it's unfair but life isn't fair so why should he?)**

Death then asked "So Bats... you sent her to me didn't you?"

Batman then stated "If you wanted to be a hero might consider having a sidekick."

Death then pointed at a poster titled "Riders of the Balance by Dragoritus" and stated "If you wanted me to have a sidekick go read that shit!"

 **Deadpool- will do Death! Now Dragoritus... what about that Teen Titans go episode?**

 **Dragoritus (growls)- It was disgusted as the original Teen Titans and was titled "The Cape" It gave me a headache from hell.**

 **Deadpool- Oh jesus...**

 **Dragoritus- BUT GREAT NEWS EVERYONE! YOUNG JUSTICE SEASON 3 IS COMING!**

 **EVERYONE- FUCK YES!**

 **Dragoritus- TEEN TITANS GO FUCK YOURSELF YOUR TRUUUUUUUUE REPLACEMENTS IS COMING BACK! AND I SWEAR IF IT'S PUT BACK ON CARTOON NETWORK INSTEAD OF NETFLIX I'M GONNA BE PISSED... or if it's both I wouldn't mind.**

 **Oh and Batmd sorry that I've got so many ideas in my head which is hard to focus on just one story concept at a time.**

 **New ben 10... another Teen titans go reskin, now we've got Teen titans go, Powershit girls and Ben 10 shits again!**

 **Cartoon network is making me worried for Samurai Jack, but got a stay positive cause Gendy's working on it again and that man is the animation god!**

 **And I saw the Kong skull island trailer... it looks good but I still refuse to call that King Kong, Toho Kong was the Japanese one and this I'll just called the LEGENDARY KONG due to Legendary pictures working in.**


	41. Thanksgiving special

Thanksgiving special

 **Dragoritus- Hey everybody so anyone who celebrates thanksgiving have a nice...**

 **Kratos- FEATS ON THEIR BLOOD FOR WE SHALL DINE IN HELL!**

 **Deadpool- Uh... wrong franchise dude.**

 **Death- And you're more badass than they are.**

 **Asura- ARRRRRGGGGGGH!**

 **Dragoritus- What?**

 **Asura- THAT TROLL OF YOUR PISSES ME OFF!  
**

 **Dragoritus- Oh... I laughing at them trolling me so...**

 **Everyone- HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!**

 **Deadpool- And this is why we love you in all ways.**

 **Dragoritus- Um... I'm flattered?**

 **Deadpool- No problem!**

 **Samuel L Jackson- Ya'll motherfuckers are crazy!**

 **Dragoritus- Says the badass whose a recurring actor for the Quentin Tarantino films.**

 **Samuel L Jackson- Don't forget my purple light saber.**

 **Dragoritus- Can't deny that you were pretty badass in that film too and as Nick Fury.**

 **Morgan Freeman- I can smell you.**

 **Dragoritus- Hey it's god!**

 **Morgan Freeman- Hello Dragoritus.**

 **Deadpool- Please read this with Morgan Freeman's voice.**

 **Morgan Freeman- Hello readers I've let spawn take my place for some time now and he'll be back but for now let me just say... I too support Death X Bayonetta.**

 **Dragoritus, Death and Bayonetta- YES!**

 **Dragoritus- We'll now that's over let's get on with the mother fucking show!**

IN THE LEGENDARY BAR OF BADASSES!

Kratos was punched in the face by War and returned the punch to his face as the two spat out a tooth and War looked at the time and said "Oh I need to leave."

Kratos then sighed and said "Yeah me too. Need to figure out what I should do with my son."

 _Later at Death's house_

Death sat on the couch with Bayonetta while Raven was meditating with Crowfather as the door bell rang and Death walked up to see War, Lilith, Samael, Fury and Strife.

 **(Crowfather- The keeper of secrets, the mentor of Death and a badass old man who can take on anyone's form while also having a huge amount of knowledge.**

 **Fury- Death and War's only living sister, she cares for he siblings while also remains loyal to the Charred council she's like a well balanced Death and War's** **personalities.**

 **Strife- Strife is the one who argues out of the four he bickers he starts shit and he has two badass guns that I dare say rival that of the Ebony and Ivory in terms of design.)**

Death then sighed and said "Let's get this over with..."

Then Bayonetta saw two more people and shouted "MUMMY, DADDY!"

 **(Rosa- Bayonetta's mother and from what is shown a equal badass to her daughter herself.**

 **Balder- Now this guy's story is sad he fell in love with Rosa had a daughter with her and because of the prophecy that a child born from light and dark would bring the end of the universe the two were punished and Balder was exiled while Rosa was imprisoned while a war was waged between their clans and sometime Balder gets corrupted by an evil god and tries to end the universe.**

 **Deadpool- Damn that got depressing...)**

Bayonetta leaped at her parents into a hug as Lilith asked "Where's my hug Death?"

Death's glowed red and growled "Not on your life."

Later the family were dining as Raven asked Rosa "So grandma..."

Rosa quickly turned her head towards Raven and asked "What did you call me?"

Balder then placed his hand on Rosa's shoulder and asked "Well you are her grandmother..."

Rosa then hissed at Balder making him shut up as Lilith stared at Rosa's boobs and asked "How big are they miss Rosa?"

Rosa then stated "Big enough why?"

Lilith climbed over the table as Strife shouted "MOM THAT'S MY FOOD!"

Samael then leaned next to the Crowfather and said while looking up Lilith's dress "Mmmmm... nice view."

Crowfather then stated "Agreed."

Fury sat with Bayonetta and asked "So how is it with you two in bed?"

Death slowly descended under the table as Bayonetta said "I share Death with some.. friends."

Lilith had pressed her boobs up against Rosa's as Samael gave smirk as well as Balder while Death shouted "OFF THE TABLE MOTHER!"

Lilith then pouted and said "Oh your no fun Death."

Death growled in annoyance as Raven asked "So... no one here has kids my age?"

Everyone then shook their heads except for Death and Bayoentta obviously as raven squinted her eyes and said "This blows!"

Then Fury asked "So who wants a summoning contest?"

Then Raven widened her eyes and said "I'm in!"

 **Happy thanksgiving everyone hope you have a good day!**


	42. Episode 33: BAT SLAP!

Episode 33: CHIRTSMAS SPECIAL

 **Dragoritus- Just started watching Justice league's first few episodes and I've gotta say... it's not Teen titans go FUCK YOUrSELF! It's like the Original justice league but with more funny moments that don't seem out of place like Marvel's movies.**

 **Deadpool- HEY WHAT ABOUT MY MOVIE?!**

 **Dragoritus- Deadpool your movie was supposed to have that because it fits character to make be funny in serious parts of everything as apposed to a majority of Marvel films. The only marvel movie that manage to get the funny moments in the right moment and knows when to be serious when it's needed is Guardians of the galaxy and that has a fucking walking tree with a raccoon riding it.**

 **Deadpool- Point taken.**

 **Dragoritus- After seeing a few episodes and getting the feel of the show, Martian manhunter's attempt of humor he just looks** **somewhat adorable at trying to joke towards Batman whose like "I'm not the right person to joke to."**

 **Deadpool- Cause he's Batman!**

 **Dragoritus- I'm liking the feel of the show even if it's 11 minutes long... a bit disappointing but at least it does what it can with the short amount of time it's given very well... shame it can't be said the same for Teen titans go... ah you know fuck it. You know what Batman go see the fourth wall and the Cape episodes of Teen titans go.**

 **Batman- Why me?**

 **Dragoritus- Cause Robin is in it.**

 **(Batman cringe watches the Cape and the fourth wall and leaves)**

 **Dragoritus- Oh man his brooding face increased the brooding by a thousand percent!**

 **(Batman's bitch slaps being heard)**

 **Deadpool (Chewing on popcorn)- Ooooooohhhh this getting real good.**

 **Batman- YEARS OF GOD DAMN TRAINING AND DISCIPLINE AND THIS IS WHAT YOUR REDUCED TO?!**

 **Dragoritus (Sits next to Deadpool)- Don't sharing?**

 **Deadpool- No at all.**

 **(Dragoritus takes a hand full of popcorn)**

 **Teeny Robin- But... but Batman...**

 **(Bat slap!)**

 **Deadpool and Dragoritus- OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHH!**

 **Batman- NOT ANOTHER WORD!**

 **Teeny Robin (rubs slapped cheek)- Yes sir...**

 **Teeny Starfire- OMG it's...**

 **(BAT SLAP!)**

 **Dragoritus- OOOOOOOOOOOOHHHH OH MY GOD THAT'S WAS A GOOD ONE!**

 **Batman- Be quiet.**

 **Starfire- Y-yes sir.**

 **Beastboy- Hey dudes and dudettes what's...**

 **(BAT SLAP!)**

 **Beastboy- HEY WHAT DID I DO?**

 **Batman- oh my bad wrong you...**

 **Teeny Beastboy- Oh no...**

 **(DOUBLE BAT SLAP!)**

 **Teeny cyborg- Hey what's going on here?**

 **(METALIC BAT SLAP!)**

 **Cyborg- OW HEY YOU DIDN'T NEED TO PUT ON BRASS KNUCKLES FOR THAT!**

 **Batman- Yes I did.**

 **Teeny Raven (Holding my little pony rip off toy)- What's that my...**

 **(Batman's eyes glow white as Raven is overshadowed under him and hears him crack his knuckles)**

 **Raven- Hey Batman have you seen my dad?**

 **(Batman turns around revealing Teeny Raven)**

 **Raven (Poker face)- Azarath Metrion zinthos!**

 **(10,000 RAVEN BITCH SLAPS)**

 **Death (Fist in the air)- That's my girl!**

 **Trigon- No she's mine!**

 **Death- You want to fight me over Raven, even though you claimed she was no threat to you?**

 **Trigon- ...I'll take my leave.**

 **Death- That's right just keep walking you demonic bitch.**

 **Raven- So dad...**

 **Trigon- Yes?**

 **Raven- I was talking to my REAL dad you know the one whose actually taking me in and raising me.**

 **Trigon- Ohhhhhhh...**

 **Dragoritus- Sorry Trigon you failed as a father.**

 **Death- Ugh you two leave.**

 **Dragoritus- Oh yes sir.**

 **Death- Yes what is it Raven?**

 **Raven- So you and mom aren't gonna have an OC child that Dragoritus might have planned right?**

 **Dragoritus- WOAH, WOAH, WOAH SPOILERS FOR BAYONETTA A JOURNEY WITH DEATH!**

 **Raven- Oh so that's not gonna happen here in this story?**

 **Dragoritus- I mean I guess it could happen but with an already existing character.**

 **Raven- So in other words I might have a sibling in the future.**

 **Bayonetta- Yeah... about that.**

 **Raven, Dragoritus and Death- What?**

 **Bayoentta- I kinda went on an adopting spree...**

 **Death- WHAT?!**

 **Raven- Oh... so who are my new siblings?**

 **Bayonetta- You'll know it in this episode.**

 **Death- Great more mouths to feed for Christmas.**

 **Santa claus- YOU COAL, YOU GET A COAL AND YOU GET A COAL, COALS FOR EVERYONE!**

 **EVERYONE- HAVE A HAPPY CHRISTMAS UNLESS YOU DON'T CELEBRATE IT THEN HAVE A NICE DAY! NOW ON WITH THE MOTHER FUCKING SHOW!**

IN THE LEGENDARY BAR OF BADASSES

Kratos had lifted Sasuke up from the ground and slammed him on his knee breaking his back as Bane shouted "YOU'VE ARE BROKEN SHINOBI!"

 **(Bane- A drug addict whose drugs make him a super beefed up badass who literally broke the Batman's back... what do more do you want? Oh he's very** **intelligent and a physical and mental threat to Batman... holy shit.  
**

 **Deadpool- way to go to start off the show with a back breaker...)**

Death cleared more glasses as Raven walked into the door and said "Dad! Mom called me and told me that we need to go home right now."

Death palmed his mask and stated "I'm working I can't go again..."

(X! CIRCLE! SQUARE! SQUARE! XXX!

 **Deadpool (singing** ) **\- NOW GRAB YOUR DESTINY IF YOU KNOW WHAT MEAN!**

 **Dragoritus- Starbomb?**

 **Deadpool- Yup.** **)**

Kratos then stated "IF YOU WALK OUT THAT DOOR YOUR FIRED!"

Kratos' phone began to ring as he answered "Hello this is Kratos?"

Bayonetta who called shouted "DO THAT AND PUNCH YOUR SOUL INTO THE SUN!"

Kratos then hung up and said with an unamused look "...You may leave."

Death and sighed as he and Raven went home to see Bayonetta with two teenage girls in the living room as Death asked "Uhhh... honey... who are these kids?"

Bayonetta then confessed "I went on a adopting spree..."

Death's lowered and said "You must be joking..."

The teenage girl with black hair then said with sarcasm "Gee and I wanted to move away from my biological family to these."

Death's glowed red and said "WATCH IT LITTLE PUNK I'VE REAP THE SOULS OF THE LIVING AND PUNCH DEMONS IN THE FACE ALL THE TIME!"

The girl crossed her arms and said "Ok that's goth."

Death's eyes stopped glowing and asked "What?"

Bayonetta then stated "That's Sam Manson.

 **(Sam Manson- from Danny phantom whose also Danny's girlfriend.)**

Death then asked "What? What does goth mean?"

Sam then stated "Fighting Demons and stealing souls I pretty goth."

Death then stated "Ok... even though I've been doing it since before humans have ever existed."

Sam then gasped and said "Then you must be the first Goth!"

Everyone turned to look at Death who squinted his eyes and asked "Ok so?"

Bayonetta then introduced the other girl "And this is Jinx, Raven I do believe you two have met."

Raven then stated "She's a Titan."

 **(Jinx- Before Young justice gave us Kid flash and Artemis couple we were introduced to the Kid flash and Jinx couple originally Jinx was a villain who was Raven's rival in my mind and I do admit I always thought that they were gonna be a lesbian couple I dunno know why. Ok I do but I dream can't I?)**

Jinx then asked "So how this is Death's house..."

Death crossed his arms and stated "Technically it's a castle."

Jinx then said "Yeah seeing how big it was from the outside."

Death sighed and said "Great now I've got to go on a shopping spree for my daughters. WHY DO WE HAVE TO HAVE THREE DAUGHTERS?!"

Bayonetta then smirked and joked "Cause I knew you'd say no."

Death gave unamused look and said "Point taken dear."

Bayonetta then stated "Now go out with your daughters and have some fun."

Then all four sighed in annoyance and asked "Must we?"

Bayonetta then pointed at them and said "See they act like you at times..."

Death dropped his head and said "Very well..."

 **BACK AT THE BAR**

Kratos sat in his office as Asura entere and stated "I'm heading out getting Mithra a present."

Kratos waved off and said "Go ahead guess I just need to lock up then."

Asura then dragged Kratos' son in his office and said "DO SOMETHING WITH HIM!"

Asura left with his daughter but a random mugger pointed a gun at her and said "GIVE ME YOUR MONEY!"

Asura then pointed at the bar and demanded "Read that sign out loud!"

The man read the sign and widened his eyes in shock and said "Dude I had no idea..."

Asura cracked his knuckles and punched the man into nothing as Mithra said "Dad... you didn't need to go that far."

Asura then stated "Oh I needed to... for you."

Mithra sighed and laughed as she said "Ok dad hahaha..."

Kratos sat at his desk as he was awkwardly with his son and asked "So... what's going on kiddo?"

Kratos' son whose name is still unknown said "I wanna see mom."

Kratos then randomly shouted "YOUR MOTEHR IS MORE THAN LIKELY DEAD!"

 **(Dragoritus- And the saddest thing is... that's more likely true knowing, Kratos' life.)**

Asura had bought his daughter a new dress as he saw Death with, Raven, Jinx and Sam as he asked "Death... so these are your daughters?"

Death then said with sarcasm "Wow Asura I your figured it out so fast how did you know? From my wife?"

Asura then stated "Ok need to be a smartass."

Death then continued on as Raven, Jinx and Sam all looked with awe "I'd be a smartass then be a dumbass."

Asura then looked at Death and asked "Are you challenging me?"

Death stated as he looked at his group of daughters "I would... but not right now priorities first."

Asura then sighed and agreed "I hear that."

Death and Asura left with their daughters as Raven asked "So dad... what "colorful" presents are you getting us?"

Sam then signed and said "Please anything but colorful and filled with life."

Death turn this head towards Sam and asked sarcastically "Do I look like I'm colorful other than purple, black and white?"

Sam then asked "White?"

Death pointed at his iconic mask as Sam "Oh that's reasonable."

Death then stated "Well just get some magical relics see if any of you three will like it."

 **(Have a merry christmas or not depends how you feel)**

 _ **DRAGORITUS IN... THE JUSTICE LEAGUE ACTION CAUSE FUCK GO!**_

 ** _When I first saw the trailer I was concerned with it seeing how much comedy was placed in and knowing Teen titans go was shit Cartoon Network had a lot of balls to even make and apology cartoon for it._**

 ** _But after watching a few episodes I must say... This is the best Apology cartoon from CN yet._**

 ** _However I do feel that maybe Bruce Timm one of the creators of the DCAU series and which this new series is highly based off of... I feel like this is what happened:_**

 ** _Bruce Timm kicks down the door of whom ever is running in Cartoon Network and bitch slapped everyone on his way especially the people who created Teen Titans go... make that ONE MILLION TIMM SLAPS!_**

 ** _Bruce Timm- WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TO CARTOON NETWORK SINCE I WAS GONE?!_**

 ** _CN- Well... we had a dark age and..._**

 ** _(TIMM SLAP!)_**

 ** _CN- OW! WHAT WAS THAT FOR?_**

 ** _Bruce Timm- Shut. Up._**

 ** _CN- Ok..._**

 ** _Bruce Timm- You're making an apology cartoon for this atrocity. (Shows Teen Titans Go)_**

 ** _CN- But it makes us more money plus the kids love it._**

 ** _Bruce- I bet their parents who watched the original made them stopped and bought the complete series of the Original._**

 ** _CN- ..._**

 ** _Bruce- Yeah you are making an apology cartoon._**

* * *

 ** _Deadpool- And that my dear readers is why we love to imagine things that may or may not have happened._**

 ** _Dragoritus- Though I do admit the show is very limited to non-epsidodic it has a well balanced Action and comedy but more action involved_** ** _. Do I accept this apology cartoon? Unless more cartoons from the channel make more of this kind of cartoons I won't._**

 ** _Deadpool- Agreed oh and you're not gonna like this but we're Cringe watching Teen Titans go._**

 ** _Dragoritus- ...No._**

 ** _Deadpool- Yes._**

 ** _Dragoritus- FUCK YOU I'LL BREAK THE TV THE GLORIOUS TV WE HAVE!_**

 ** _Deadpool- NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Ok, ok we won't cringe watch Teen Titans Go_**

 ** _Dragoritus- Good now don't you EVER suggest that again... please?_**

 ** _Deadpool- Ok._**


	43. Reading reviews (WELCOME BACK TROLL!)

Reading your reviews with Deadpool

 **Dragoritus- I wanted to** **change things up a bit by looking at some of the reviews with Deadpool and respond properly to em.**

 **Deadpool- This is gonna be fucking epic.**

 **Dragoritus- And starting off with... _Politicallyangryvampire, who just joined not so long ago..._**

 ** _"No really. All your ideas are fucking awful."_**

 **Dragoritus- HEY IT'S MY TROLL AGAIN! HEY I MISSED YOU, IT WAS GETTING QUITE FUCKING BORING WITHOUT YOU WELCOME BACK JUST HOPE YOU DIDN'T RUN INTO THE BILLY GOATS!**

 **Deadpool- Well tell that Batmd who actually likes one of Dragorits' not so great fanfics. And I get it you hate everything and evryone and won't change your mind, So here's some advice for ya, opinions are like assholes and they all stink so go sniff your own asshole troll.**

 **Dragoritus- Hey that's no way to treat our "Favorite" troll this calls for a celebration! Oh and Batmd I'm sorry but I don't agree with the Four horsemen of the alchemical apocalypse being a good fanfic, it had some good ideas that I had but ultimately was not executed right.**

 **Dragoritus- Now OP yeah last year... shit was so fucking bad in almost everything though it started pretty well... then quickly went to shit. And Thedemonoverlord238...**

 _ **"I am that this show and you exist to make me laugh :)"**_

 **Deadpool- Awwwwww that's so Kawaii!**

 **Dragoritus- Ummm... ignore him demonoverlord... thanks for that nice review. Now to the SGT! You wanted Deadpool, Pinky pie, the Mask and Valkery to join... well Death battle just did a Deadpool vs Pinkie pie so... adding to the insanity... with the mask and I don't even know who Valkery is I should start watching RWBY though, are you trying to get me killed?!**

 **Deadpool- Say yes!**

 **Pinkie Pie- We can't do that he needs to smile at something happy!**

 **Dragoritus- I smile to troll my trolls cause I fucking love trolling my own trolls, you know what I just follow my own trolls just to let them know I'm smiling while I troll them back!**

 **The Mask- Note to self... author is kinda crazy when trolls his own trolls.**

 **Dragoritus- YESSSS! Trolls feed me your hatred and I use that hatred as fuel for my stories! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA!**

 **Deadpool- Holy shit... Dragoritus' madness is...**

 **Vegeta- IT'S OVER 9,000!**

 **Dragoritus- BRING IT ON I'M LAUGHING AT YOU MY TROLLS FEED ME YOUR HATRED CAUSE I CAN'T STOP LAUGHING AT YOUR TROLLING!**

 **Joker (To batman)- Your parents are dead and I can't stop laughing, I'm even dead and I can't stop laughing your boy wonder is dead and I can't stop laughing!**

 **Dragoritus- Ok that's taking it too far... oh what am I doing he's the Joker he takes everything too far. Well that ends our little respond to the readers hope you enjoy the fight...**

IN THE LEGENDARY BAR OF BADASSES!

Link clashed blades with Death and was pushed back with little effort as Kratos shouted "GO FOR THE THROAT DEATH!"

Link then shouted "HYAAAAAA!"

Death punched Link's face and shouted "SHUT UP PRETTY GREEEEEEEEEEEEEN!"

War was seen quiet as he slowly clapped his hands while Death picked Link over head and slammed him onto the ground and rapidly punched his face and smashed a health potion on him healing his wound and stated "I'm not done yet!"

Death grabbed Link's face and threw him in the air and punched his gut making Link cough up blood as Death quickly grabbed Link by the leg and began to slam him on the ground in different areas of the fighting ring and quickly head butted the hero of time breaking his nose. Death upper cut Link's chin break it and finally ended it with Death drop kicking him out of the ring and onto a bar table with Iron bull sitting there as his drink was smashed by Link and shouted "HEY I WAS DRINKING THAT!"

Death round housed kicked Iron Bull and asked "Anyone else?"

Then suddenly Chuck Norris appeared and pointed his fingers at Death appearing to looking like a gun and simply said "Bang."

Death grabbed his chest and fell back dead as everyone gasped as they turn dot Death and back at Chuck Norris who mysertiously disappeared as Kratos suggested "Don't worry Death will get out of Hell like some of us have."

Asura then asked "Yeah... but a question is why did the author just kill his favorite badass?"

* * *

 **Dragoritus- Holy shit... he can do that?**

 **Deadpool- I guess my powers rubbed off on him...**

 **Draoritus- Bullshit!**

* * *

MEANWHILE IN BADASS HELL

Death sat with his arms crossed and eyes twitching as he sat with Lilith and Samael and thought "I HATE IT HERE! I HATE IT HERE! I HATE IT HERE!"


	44. Rumors and leaks

Dragoritus' thoughts on rumors of Bayonetta 3 and screenshots of "Darksiders 3"

 **Deadpool (whispers)- Hey readers just letting ya know the author's been quite in a not so good mood... ok he's kinda pissed and sad that he's running out of cool shit for ya. And so I've heard rumors of Bayonetta 3's tease and Darksiders 3's screenshots being leaked and have decided to "Record" his reaction... god damn wish we had a youtube account right now.**

 **Dragoritus- Hey Deadpool you know where the beer is at?**

 **Deadpool- No but hey come see this.**

 **Dragoritus- Come on dude I'm tired and just fucking...**

 **(Sees Darksiders 3 screenshot leaks)**

 **Dragoritius- Wait a minute... is that... no... you're fucking me!**

 **Deadpool- Hey I'm not judging.**

 **Dragoritus- I KNOW THAT DESIGN IT'S FURY FROM DARKSIDERS! OH MY GOD! IS THIS REAL?!**

 **Deadpool- Supposedly maybe...**

 **Dragoritus- OH MY BODY IS FUCKING READY IF THIS IS REAL!**

 **Deadpool- Oh and rumors are that Bayonetta 3 is being teased by** **Platinum.**

 **Dragoritus- Strange to see that both Darksiders and Bayonetta maybe are getting a third equal either by being teased or by early leaks...**

 **Deadpool- Oh boy yes Dragoritus we know how much you love Bayonetta and Darksiders crossing over hence why you've made Bayonetta the keeper of the Reaper... three times now.**

 **Dragoritus- It's like Batman and Catwoman is so interesting and fun how the two interact plus it's a better love idea than Twilight.**

 **Deadpool- Not a better story though?**

 **Dragoritus- Hey I'm proud of the Bayonetta a journey with Death but I'm not gonna be overzealous about it... anyway if this is true than the future of two great franchises are still alive and not going anywhere yet!**

 **Deadpool- Oh so you've got something to say to the Zelda fans.**

 **Dragoritus- I want to play the new zelda game it actually looks quite good.**

 **Deadpool- Oh your not gonna say your sorry?**

 **Dragoritus- No. Because at the time the only games that were zelda had a reputation of annoying characters and had no REAL voice acting,now granted the new zelda game doesn't have voice acting as good as Darksiders it still works... but I think they need to have their voice acting perfected more they mostly sound bored from what I hear from random clips online... except that Gerudo lady her voice works SO fucking well.**

 **Deadpool- Mmmmm... Urbosa's got some abs and seems so badass.**

 **Dragoritus- Strange that more characters feel a lot more sexy... even Zelda has an ass... yeah I know Zelda has an ass... even over a hundred years old and she's still looking good. Hey bonus points for saying FUCK YOU to the modern feminists that can't be happy.**

 **Deadpool- HAHAHAHA! The Triggering has began?**

 **Dragoritus- The Triggering has definitely begun. Bring it on trolls.**

 **Deadpool- Just don't come on...**

 **Dragoritus- SHUT UP!**

 **Deadpool- ... Us.**

 **Dragoritus- You know what... If I die because of you...**

 **Deadpool- You're the one who typed my dialogue.**

 **Dragoritus- No one needs to know that.**

 **Deadpool- Pussy.**

 **Dragoritus- Avocado fucker.**

 **Deadpool- Ehehehehehe!**

 **Dragoritus- Oh I'm hoping that these rumors and screenshot leaks are true and that two promising franchises like** **these are still alive.**

 **Deadpool- You're welcome.**

 **Dragoritus- Sorry, thanks a lot dude.**

 **Deadpool- Awwww that's sweat, wanna give me a kiss?**

 **Dragoritus- No.**

 **Deadpool- Why not?**

 **Dragoritus- Well one I'm don't date guys but I have no problems if other guys do.**

 **Deadpool- Oh not even for me?**

 **Dragoritus- Two clearly I would be killed by the fangirls and boys for it plus Mistress Death would be knocking at my door...**

 **Deadpool- Hey you'll have some attention right?**

 **Dragoritus- I don't want that kind of attention.**

 **Deadpool- Then why are you even on the internet typing this?**

 **Dragoritus- Uhhhhhhh... good point. Mum I guess it's... ENJOY THE SCENE!**

* * *

 **IN THE LEGENDARY BAR OF BADASSES!**

A woman in a skintight catsuit that had purple and pink colors was seen having a drink and flirted with Death "Come on Death give me a bone here to break."

Death sighed at the woman and said "Listen Juri I'm flattered that you want to have som S and M sex with me but I'm married with children."

 **(Juri- Don't fuck with this crazy lady... she acts like she gets aroused from hurting people and also... she's voiced by the same person who voices Lilith from Darksiders 2 which you could say Death's new admirer has his mother's voice.)**

Juri then sighed and then smirked while licking her lips and teased "Oh come on Bayonetta shares you with every other girl."

Death then stated "Yes because they're friends in some way or fashion..."

Bayonetta then eternal the bar and shouted "HEY JURI YOU WANNA SHARE MY HUSBAND WITH ME?!"

Death dropped the glass and shouted "I QUIT! I GET NO RESPECT IN THIS JOB!"

Death walked out of the bar as Kratos then saw and sighed before picking up a phone and said "Yeah Rodin... can you be my stand-in bartender?"

Rodin while on the phone then stated "Sure thing man whatever ya need."

The two hung up as Kratos then asked "So whose gonna track him down?"

Juri and Bayonetta looked at each other and both smirk and said "We can get him for ya for a price of course."


	45. Thank you everyone

Thank you THQ Nordic and Gunfire games

* * *

 **Dragoritus- FUCK YES!**

 **Deadpool- Alright let it all out dude.**

 **Iron Bull- Mind if I join?**

 **Dragoritus- PLEASE DO!**

 **Iron Bull- FUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK YESSSSSSSS!**

 **Dragoritus- FUUUUUUCK YEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSS!**

 **Deadpool (Sighs)- OH FUCK YES!**

 **Dragoritus- Readers if you're wwondering why we're saying this it's because the Darksiders 3 official trailer is out and I must say... I wasn't expecting quite this much within 24 hours.**

 **Deadpool- I like how the trailer showed Fury's hip movements... makes it seem she knows she's got some package if you know what I mean.**

 **Dragoritus- But the most interesting part of the entire trailer is not actually about Fury's looks or how she's seen portrayed... no it's the simple interaction with War in this fucking trailer is what really sold me. Never before in the games have we seen the interactions of the four horsemen with each other, this simple scene with Fury and War is the most interesting part of the trailer in my opinion.**

 **Deadpool- Yeah plus her armor looks really cool and it still shows how much boobs she's got.**

 **Dragoritus- I do find her eyes to be a little big but other than that minor gripe a very beautiful looking woman we've got here... despite her having really badass purple ghost hair.**

 **Death- Yeah... the amount of shampoo she uses...**

 **Fury- Brother you have a wife that uses more shampoo than me.**

 **Death- Fair enough.**

 **Dragoritus- Fury's interaction with War is as if she believes War has truly started the apocalypse and just leaves him to rot for the crime, I'm very curious how she'll feel when she finds that War is innocent. Unlike Death who knows War is innocent Fury seems to believe that War isn't. with good reason, if you had read the Darksiders 1 prequel comic War almost killed Fury before Death took the blow and cut his hand off.**

 **War- Hence why one of a hands is bigger than the other and is used as a shield.**

 **Deadpool- Really? I'd figure you just masturbated too much.**

 **Death- HAHAHAHAHA!**

 **Dragoritus- I love how Fury looks overall, the only thing that bugs me is her eyes seem a little too big, and her overall personality from what few moments we get is that she's takes pride as an enforcer of the Charred Council and she seems to have some sass from her facial expressions and body language.**

 **Bayonetta- Who are we talking about?**

 **(shows Bayonetta Darksiders 3 trailer)**

 **Bayonetta- Wow I like her heels and hair.**

 **Death- Of course you would.**

 **Dragoritus- And I've heard some complaints about Fury being a girl and complaints about complaints and I gotta say... from the trailer it my not show any cleavage and while I'm ok with that and am more happy that Darksiders 3 is a thing now I can see it this trailer a big ass middle finger to the modern feminists cause Fury's overall facial expressions and body language tells me she's a bit like Bayonetta to a** **degree.**

 **Bayonetta- You don't like modern feminists do you?**

 **Dragoritus- Only if they try to shove bullshit down my throat, plus I don't see why a character like you, Lara Croft and others who are fun, great or just lovable characters are taken too seriously... you don't exist in real life.**

 **Bayonetta- And here you are talking to us.**

 **Dragoritus- ... I'm weird ok... plus this is a comedy story... you expect me to just not be involved?**

 **Deadpool- Normal writers would leave themselves out as it looks like your too full of yourself.**

 **Dragoritus- Yeah... because we never made fun of me before right?**

 **Deadpool- I take that back.**

 **Dragoritus- Well enough of the jokes right now...**

 **Deadpool- Oh man...**

 **Dragoritus- I would just like to thank THQ Nordic and Gunfire games for not being Activision and just let the Darksiders franchise die, I would also like to thank everyone who bought the Deathinitive and Warmastered editions of Darksiders 1 and 2. Because not only does that show the love for the Darksiders franchise, it also ensures it surviving longer than we'd expected.**

 **I would like to every fan of Darksiders, people who gave Darksiders a chance and also the people who read, follow and favorite my Darksiders stories cause it's truly a great time to be a Darksiders fan... now let's see if Bayonetta 3 is being announced soon or not.**

 **Hope you all have a nice day and that...**

 **Deadpool- WAIT!**

 **Dragoritus- What?**

 **Deadpool- Does this mean this show is canceled?**

 **Dragoritus Fuck no.**


	46. Episode 34: The anime Overlord

Episode 34: The anime Overlord

* * *

 **Dragoritus- So I saw the pre-alpha gameplay of Darksiders 3, and as far as art style is concerned it is Darksiders signature style but ramped up to 50. And my concern of Fury's large eyes was put to ease because Fury's eyes in the gameplay if you pay attention are much smaller and feel just the right size for the art style.**

 **Deadpool- Plus some of the demons from darksiders 2 make a return, with the spiders of darkeners 1 and those hornet-like enemies from the past two games are also still around. A three new enemies are seen Sloth's minions, a bomb-like bug and a bug that seems to hang upside down in caves that has green glowing claws and HEY IT'S ULTHANE!**

 **Ulthane- Shove off Pigeons!**

 **Deadpool- God I love how just calls Angels pigeons.**

 **Dragoritus- The combat I will say does feel weaker, however I'm not expecting darksiders 2 level of combat since I don't know... Death is the fastest of four horsemen and their leader? The gameplay being shown this early in development so hey there's room to** **improve. I do hope the whip have some weight to it or at least make the impacts of the whip attacks look like they're hurting something.**

 **Deadpool- The camera could be readjusted further behind Fury to let us see incoming enemies because that blue demon felt like it came out of nowhere despite us already notcing him before the fight began him just attacking seemed like he just spawn right behind you and tried to play dirty.**

 **Dragoritus- The hair animation looks better than Bioware's Dragon age hair styles, which I must say is awful, they all look plastic, even Death's hair from Darksiders 2 felt like plastic despite still being a cool style one of the very few minor gripes of that game I have. It feels like Fury's hair will have some sort of significance to this game's combat and Fury's character overall... Oh boy another female character with crazy hair... reminding you of anyone?**

 **Deadpool- Ok Darksiders and Bayonetta being crossed over is really starting look like it's not a bad crossover more and more everyday now.**

 **Bayonetta- Ok maybe she'll be like a combination of my magic, Catwoman's and my whip gameplay and with of course Zelda stuff.**

 **Dragoritus- You're right Fury does feel a lot like Catwoman's combat style in the arkham games, and hell Fury can even crouch into vets and under certain places. Now does this mean we're going to have the option of Stealth in the game? While some might feel that would take away what made Darksiders, I myself would welcome this idea if done correctly and executed well.**

 **Deadpool- Hey as long as there's an option to go gunsblazin and sword swingin I'll be just fine.**

 **Dragoritus- Now let's get to the first of the Seven Deadly Sins, Sloth the Lord of Flies...**

 **Deadpool- Oh so Beelzebub kinda said fuck it I'm lazy to Lucifer and decided to just sit on top of a stone throne being carried by his minions... getting fat... Cool.**

 **Dragoritus- I love Sloth's design, he looks like something you'd wouldn't see in a embodiment of laziness while still maintaining the things you'd expect, he's a giant green bug and I like how he uses his minion to move around while still sitting on his throne... but when his minions get all slaughter and his throne get's dropped he the way he gets out of his throne is like "All of my minions being so worthless to kill one measly horsemen! Fine I'll deal with her myself!"**

 **Deadpool- Please let him say something like that in the final product!**

 **Dragoritus- NOW ON WITH THE MOTHEFUCKING SHOW!**

 **Deadpool- You Mean Mother fucking show.**

 **Dragoritus- Yes... a tpyo.**

 **Deadpool- You mean Typo?**

 **Dragoritus- Yes...**

IN THE LEGENDARY BAR OF BADASSES

Rodin was cleaning the bar counter as he said "Yo another brother in the house. What ya need Dutch?"

 **(Dutch- This man is like Rodin except not on the same level he's Revy's boss and the guy's got some badass sunglasses. Also he's got a cool english dub voice.**

 **Dragoritus- I have a new baby niece.**

 **Deadpool- AWWWWWWW!**

 **Dragoritus- Though she's not related by blood she's too cute and already a badass... She scared me when by making a sound when I didn't see where she was...**

 **Deadpool- Wait you got scared of a baby?**

 **Everyone- HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!**

 **Dragorirtus- The's a badass baby what'd you'd expect?** **I wanted to call her Erika Savage but I was the minority and got out voted.**

 **Deadpool- Wow naming a girl Erika Savage... sounds badass.**

 **Dragoritus- I try be creative.**

 **Vandel Savage- Oh really?**

 **Dragoritus- Eheheheh...**

 **Racist- But wait she's...**

 **Dragoritus- She's what?**

 **Racist- Half black and your a skinny as white dude**

 **(THIS SCENE IS TOO MATURE FOR VIEWING)**

 **Dragoritus- Anyone else has a problem with my niece being half black?**

 **Death- No...**

 **Kratos- Noooo...**

 **Deadpool- Dude you kicked the shit out of that guy!**

 **Rodin- Nah man I good...**

 **Bayonetta- Erika Savage sounds... like a comic book character.**

 **Vandel Savage- HELLOOOO!**

 **Racist- My legs... you bastard, you broke my legs!**

 **Dragoritus- Talk some shit about my niece again.**

 **Racist- I'm good...)**

Dutch was seen with a woman who wore jean short shorts and a black tank top along with a tattoo on her arm and said "Can you give Revy somethin?"

Rodin then summoned a bottle and said "Cheers baby."

Then the Cole Train walked in and said "Cheers!"

Revy snatched the bottle and popped the cork while kicking her feet up and said "Huh I like this guy, Rodin is it? You sure you aren't Dutch's brother or something?"

Dutch and Rodin then huddled together away from Revy as Rodin whispered "She knows..."

Dutch then responded "I had no clue she was that perceptive..."

Rey then eyed the two and said "You know I can still hear you two?"

Then Dutch said "She heard us again bro."

Then Momonga entered the bar and asked "Kratos where is Death at?"

Kratos then stated "He's... on the run from his wife and Juri."

 **(Dragoritus- I just absolutely love Momonga's english dub voice actor's take on the anime skeletal Overlord, I've heard he was part of the Dragon Ball z abridged as cooler... well that makes sense Cooler always had a better voice than Freiza in my opinion especially in his final form.**

 **Sub fans- OHHHHH YOU ARE NOT AN ANIME FAN WE DISOWN YOU!**

 **Deadpool- Don't look now dude but I think you just triggered the sub fans.**

 **Dragoritus (Squints eyes in confusion)- What is your problem?**

 **Sub Fans- You think dub is better than sub!**

 **Dragoritus- Well I'd rather watch animation than read what is being displayed and miss the action.**

 **Sub Fan- Yes but at the expense of bad voice acting!**

 **Dragoritus- Fullmetal alchemist, Fullmetal alchemist brotherhood, Hellsing ultimate, Bayonetta the anime movie, Dragon ball Z kai, Overlord, Future Diary, Fairy Tail, shall I keep going?**

 **Sub Fans- Plus they're inarcurate to their original portrayals!**

 **Dragoritus- Oh come on they already fixed Goku's character in Dragon Ball Z kai and yet people thought it was not as good as the original.**

 **Sub Fans- Yeah well... I fucked your mom!**

 **Dragoritus- Ewwwwww you know she's an ugly racist bitch that has no teeth also she looks like she's done lots of drugs... hint, hint.**

 **Deadpool- Wow... you just said that about your own mother.**

 **Dragoritus- Well one I fucking hate my mom for one she's a liar, a hypocrite and a manipulative sack of dog shit. Also she's racist towards hispanics and Mexicans... thankfully I had awesome Mexican neighbors when I was growing up that invited me to their parties... I miss going to those parties now they were fun.**

 **Deadpool- Oh you like chimichangas or at least say you love tacos**

 **Dragoritus- I never ate the food just enjoyed being around the people. With reminds me I Danny Trejo is also badass his handle bar mustache and gruff look has made him very fucking badass... Plus Machete.**

 **Deadpool- ... You're weird.**

 **Dragoritus- Thank you.**

 **Deadpool- ... I rest my case.**

 **Sub fan- YOU DIDN'T SAY HIS NAME IT'S NOT MOMONGA IT'S AINZ OOAL GOWN!**

 **Dragoritus- Ok... but here's the thing he's also called Momon as a disguise and also calls himself Ainz so technically speaking they're all right. It's just that I think Momonga sounds better to me anyway. The Overlord Anime is a good fantasy anime disguised as a trap in a game anime, the art style reminds me of the movie the Flight of Dragons... which is my childhood movie.**

 **HEY SHOUT OUT TO ANYONE WHOSE SEEN THE ANIMATED MOVIE; THE FLIGHT OF DRAGONS!)**

Momonga then lowered his head and said "I see, I was wondering if he could assist me in summoning an undead Leviathan from his games."

Revy then scoffed and said "Fucking nerds."

Rodin then nodded and said "You got that right miss."

The a man sang 'ONE PUUUUUUUUUNCH!"

Then Saitama walked in still with a bored expression and said "Hey."

Momonga then looked down at Saitama and said "Ahh Saiatam how is the Over powered life?"

Saitama then shrugged and said "Boring."

Momonga then sighed and said "I know the feeling."

Deadpool was then seen sitting next to Revy and said "Hey the OP anime dudes."

Revy quickly turned to see deadpan and said "How the fuck did you sneak up behind me?!"

Deadpool then shrugged and joked "I'm batman."

Then Batman was seen behind Deadpool and said "Is that so?"

Deadpool leaned back and saw Batman's white eyed cowl and said "Before you do anything can I just say... it is an honor."

Batman then grabbed Deadpool by the color and threw him across the bar as Revy then gave a blood thirsty grin and shouted "BAR FIGHT!"

Momonga and Saitama then sighed as Saitama picked up a bottle and gently threw it at Deadpool causing half of the bar and the buildings in the same direction to just vanish leaving only a trail of destruction from Saitama's throw which made Momonga grunt and said "That's insane among of physical strength.!"

Batman then pushed bar table off as Revy then said "Of course the Mary sue would survive that!"

Batman then stated "I dodged worse."

Then a man that had dark grey skin that made it look kinda like stone floated down and said "True he did out maneuvered my Omega beams."

Batman then saw the man and said "Darkseid."

 **(Darkseid- Lord of Apokolips, a New God and a fucking badass villain from DC comics, the guy can go toe to toe with Superman and the entire justice league. Even more impressive are his quotes such as "I am many things Kal El... but here I AM God."**

 **Deadpool- I thinks I just shat myself...)**

Kratos walked out of his office and asked "What the hell is going..."

Kratos then saw half of his bar was gone and shouted "AHHHHHHHHH! WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TO MY BAAAAAAAAAAR?!"

Saitama then raised his hand and said "Sorry my bad..."

Kratos' face glowed red as his teeth gritted as Dutch picked up his bottle and said "Time leave everybody."

Then everyone ran out out of the bar as Kratos shouted "DEAAAAAAAAAAAAAATH! YOU BETTER CLEAN THIS SHIT!"

Death walked in though the door and saw the mess and pointed at Kratos' face and said "Fuck you. I quit remember?!"

Asura then entered the bar and said "Hey come let's not ruin the bar more than it already is."

Death and Kratos turned towards Asura as Death asked "You alright?"

Asura then frowned and stated "Yes I'm fine I'm trying not to get mad over something like this."

Kratos then whispered to Death "This is kinda scary to witness."

Death then whispered back "Agreed..."

Asura then stated "You know I can still hear you two right?"

Death then whispered "He has super hearing now?"

Kratos them responded "Definitely not our Asura."

Asura's gave an unamused look and said "Make up or break up..."

Then Bayonetta's voice was heard "OH HONEY!"

Death then froze in place and said "Oh no... it's the wife."

And at the destroyed end of the bar a red glowing eyes was seen while a cloud of dust slowly revealed Bayonetta staring at Death with a smirk and licked her lips as Death then slowly stepped back as Bayonetta chased after him and shouted "OH NO DON'T MY HUSBAND!"

Kratos and Asura only watched as Bayonetta tackled Death and said "Come now dear, we're have baby and we'll name her Ashley!"

 **(Better know her name cause it's Ashley!)**


	47. Episode 35: The Boar Hat

Episode 35: Don't fuck with Death's daughters

 **Dragoritus- So E3 had some... really disappointing announcements to me anyway, with few new interesting and unique games that aren't apart of franchises or different versions of the same game.**

 **Deadpool- I'm nowhere to be seen! 1 out of 10!**

 **Dragoritus- But let me get to the actual good announcements, Metro Exodus fuck yes. I 'veplayed a few Fallout games before but I never... cared for them because they didn't appeal to me story-wise and they lack the intensity of what the Metro games have set. But with the Metro games, especially the redux versions holy shit man... I am at awe of the environments... the first game had an icy radiated surface while the second had dark burnt forests, deadly swamps and even underground rivers all looked incredibly fantastic even by today's standards.**

 **Deadpool-** **Deathclaw YEAH!**

 **Dragoritus- God of War (4) showed something new... kinda. It's showing how much it is a The Last of us clone than it should it be. Granted, I do like the dad of war fan title but when we're given a whole year with nothing and given a short video like that... it's not quite as worth it as I expected it to be for a GOW game... except the world serpent's introduction and desire to help Kratos... that shit was amazing.**

 **Kratos- HA!**

 **Deadpool- Too bad that most likely it's going to betray you... like everyone else has.**

 **Kratos- FUCK YOU!**

 **Dragoritus- Now with assassin's creed origins... why are people hyped about this? It's a fucking assassin's creed you know the games that have a serious story problem and have bugs and glitches galore? And some major story problems, I'm not sold on assassin's creed origins because of the past games and I never really cared for the series anyway.**

 **Deadpool- But what about assassin's creed 2?**

 **Dragoritus- Never cared, because I've never been a fan. And Bethesda showing of VR Doom, Fallout and... ugh Skyrim... seriously... why? Hey at least we get some Wolfenstein the colossus trailer and gameplay... and Dishonored 2 DLC... WTF?! I do not agree that DLC and micro-transactions are a necessary thing and seeing how some games actually block off major story points with dlc is a shame.**

 **Deadpool- GREEDY CORPRATE ASSHOLES!**

 **Dragoritus- Ori is getting a sequel... wait... there was a first game?**

 **Deadpool- Yeah apparently it was a tear jerker 2d platformer.**

 **Dragoritus- Huh, never heard of it before... more zombie games... again?! WHAT THE FUCK?! WHY IS IT THAT WE'RE GETTING AN OVER SATURATION OF ZOMBIE GAMES THAT ARE ALL THE EXACT SAME?! Except dying light and Red dead undead nightmare those games are excused because they do something different! Dying light for it's parkour and red dead for adding more than just zombies... unicorns and four horses of the apocalypse... a Chipricabbra (I hope I didn't misspelled that) plus Sasquatch!**

 **Deadpool- Yeah...**

 **Dragoritus- Anthem looks... interesting. Hey at least the facial animations are done far better than the Mass effect for dip shits... horror and a cringe worth game.**

 **Deadpool- Oh boy it's looks like destiny done right added iron man and possibly mass effect...**

 **Dragoritus- Destiny 2 and EA's Star wars battle front 2... why is it that these are hyped games? Destiny was... I can't even describe how terrible that was done... NEVER USE DLC as a means to sell your games. Activision, EA just stop making us hate you more. So making another Star wars battlefront... why? Oh? It has a story mode? And it has factions from the clone wars? So did the original Battlefront 2 and that had space battles at launch.**

 **Deadpool- Evil within 2?**

 **Dragoritus- Never played the first game but heard you had to buy dlc to understand the story which is NEVER a good idea. Hey another Skylander rip off...**

 **Spyro- The fuck is this shit?!**

 **Dragoritus- Woah...**

 **Spyro- FUCK ACTIVISION FOR NOT MAKING A GAME ABOUT ME I'M A FUCKING ICONIC GAME CHARACTER FOR FUCK'S SAKE!**

 **Deadpool- Dude... chill.**

 **Spyro- AT LEAST THE LEGEND OF SPYRO GAMES DIDN'T MAKE PEOPLE BUY OTHER STUFF TO ENJOY MY GAMES!**

 **Dragoritus- Ok... calm down man.**

 **Spyro- FUCK YOU!**

 **(crash)**

 **Dragoritus- ugh... Call of duty ww2... OK what the fuck?! Hyping up Call of duty is like hyping up Michael bay's transformers... yes I just compared Call of duty to bayformers suck it, it's because everyone falls for the same shit, sadly Michael bay knows how to make a trailer, sadly knows nothing of how to make a GREAT film, some films he's made I enjoyed but that doesn't excuse the more glaring problems his films have.**

 **Deadpool- And from what people are saying the newest bayformer is god awful.**

 **Dragoritus- (sarcasm mode: On) NO REALLY?! I WOULDN'T HAVE GUESSED! (Sarcasm mode: off) How did anyone think that movie was going to be better? Hey I admit that the past movies are a guilty pleasure to watch... just try not to expect any good story telling and expect lot's of explosions and fights and you'll be fine but from what I'm hearing the newest film doesn't have much of that.**

 **Deadpool- Oh boy...**

 **Dragoritus- Nintendo honestly did win the E3... with only two games... but are of the same series... a remake of Metroid 2 that showed gameplay and Metroid prime 4... with no gameplay... and the fanboys are eating it up wow... Metroid prime 4 being announced is good... when you have something to show... showing speaks louder than just telling... sure showing off the title is ok but it being less than a minute is... a big ballsy move, but for a Metroid fan I am happy that your franchise is getting the attention it deserves, let's hope they don't poorly do the story like other M, I like the idea that Riddly was responsible for destroying Samus' home planet but from the manga not other M.**

 **Deadpool- Monster hunter... is coming to the consoles again.**

 **Dragoritus- Why was it only for portable games for a long time in the first place? That's honestly the stupidest idea to make a game where you hunt monsters originally on the ps2 and only more sequels on a portable... when the conoles and pc's have honestly have gotten graphically better... so why is it that now they are bringing this back is beyond me.**

 **Deadpool- And Farcry 5!**

 **Dragoritus- The fact that people are talking about this game and say that it is racist and set in a fictional cultist town in america already makes me want to buy this game. As if GTA has never done that before.**

 **Trevor- Pull your pants down lets fuck.**

 **Deadpool- Oh Trevor... wouldn't be able to handle me.**

 **Dragoritus- Hey I'm not judgin just don't talk to me about it I'd rather not have imagine such things.**

 **Deadpool- Jokes on the readers then huh?**

 **Dragoritus-... Oh shit.**

 **Deadpool- Watch you get so much hate and trolls after this.**

 **Dragoritus- Yeah...** **Crackdown 3... terry crews... I want this game if what I'm getting is true and that the environments can be destroyed, than I sold, but as far as I can see the only two games worth getting that have environmental destruction is Red Faction Guerrilla and Red Faction armageddon simply because they're fucking amazing games made by the defunct THQ... RIP.**

 **Deadpool- So you tried out the new Hitman digitally.**

 **Dragoritus- It was free on Xbox one so I couldn't say no to that... but what I will say no to is the idea of having a game be episodic. Sure it can extend the game's lifespan and be engaging... but when you're focusing so much on gameplay like Hitman what is the point of even having a episodic game? One of many reasons why I think Telltale "games" aren't games in my eyes is because it isn't a game with gameplay. It's simply a game about story and choices, Dragon age, Mass Effect and The Witcher games have all done story, choices and gameplay which tells me that Telltale games are more suited as an animated studio more so than a game developer and publisher.**

 **Deadpool- Welp you just pissed off a whole fan base of Telltale gamers. They love their Walking dead and Batman... and oddly enough Guardians of the galaxy.**

 **Dragoritus- Batman I can understand because of how much story the Batman franchise has going for it, but with Guardians of the galaxy which I only knew existed because of the first film it to me doesn't quite feel like it needs a game like this seeing how story driven Batman is. The Walking dead is another example of a story heavy franchise deserving it's own video game take which is not so concentrated on the gameplay but focuses on the story. If your going to make an episodic game then at least give me more damn good reasons to buy a full season like fun gameplay.**

 **Deadpool- You really don't like episodic games do you?**

 **Dragoritus- Hell no. The games might be a masterpiece but it is muddled down to it being able to buy the episodes... when I could just go out and buy a whole season of the fucking Walking dead. I do not care for Telltale games obviously, I saw they made a Jurassic park game... thought the idea of a dinosaur survival game is a perfect and unique idea compared to a zombie** **apocalypse which is now being over saturated.**

 **Deadpool- Damn...**

 **Dragoritus- But if anyone has noticed like I have... all these recent announcements for cult following games, such as; Darksiders, Beyond good and evil, Metroid, Metro and more... (raises glass) well here's to the coming year of the cult following.**

 **Bayonetta- Cheers love!**

 **Death- Fine...**

 **Artyom- ...**

 **Doom Guy (thumbs up)**

 **Samus Aran- Why not?! (raises glass)**

 **Dragaoritus- NOW ON WITH THE MOTHERFUCKING SHOW!**

IN THE LEGENDARY BAR OF...

 **Deadpool- WAIT!**

 **Dragoritus- Dude!**

 **Deadpool- Forgot to mention that I'm taking over and placing the characters in a temporary bar.**

 **Dragoritus- What why?!**

 **Deadpool- Last episode it got destroyed again.**

 **Dragoritus- Fair enough but where?**

THE BOAR HAT

A young boy with blonde hair with green hair, wearing a black vest and white shirt under that vest and kept his hands in his pockets and gave a happy smile and said "Ban! you have that meal ready?!"

 **(Ban- The Fox sin of Greed, imagine Greed fro Fullmetal Alchemist had white hair and wore red while being unkillable, that's Ban. However he's not as greedy but still fun when he's on screen.)**

Then a man with light blue hair, red leather opened shirt and pants while wearing an apron over his clothes and stated "One sec Captain, you can't rush perfection on meals!"

Death was seen sitting in the bar sighing as Raven asked "Dad you alright?"

Sam then pointed out "Yeah you look kinda tired."

Jinx then asked "Was it mom?"

Death then eyed his adopted daughters and stated "Worse... your baby sister."

Then all three girls turned to see Bayonetta holding a baby with twin pony tails and wearing a red dress as it gave a sinister but cute smile Death sighed and stated "I had to stay up all night because of her."

Bayonetta then stated "Well she only let's one of us take care of her, she's real picky about it, aren't you little Ashley?"

 **(Baby Ashley- This kid is going to grow up and grant kids to hell I swear it.)**

Then Ashley laughed happily at the sight of Bayonetta as Death closed his eyes and leaned back and asked Dante "So how's your relationship with Trish?"

Dante shivered and stated "I'm forced into bondage when she's in charge of the fun..."

Death then patted Dante's shoulder and stated "Stay strong it will only get harder..."

Deadpool then appeared and shouted "THAT'S WAT SHE SAID!"

Kratos then walked into the Boar hat and sat down and said "The costs are... utterly up-surd! Luckily Rodin was happy to pay for the expanses."

Death then asked "And at the cost of...?"

Kratos then stated "I sold the souls of the Greek gods."

Death then chuckled and said "Nice. So Meliodas hows your bar's reputation?"

 **(Meliodas- The Dragon sin of wrath, the guy is fucking badass and such a lovable perv. The guy is so damn badass he groped a princess's boobs in front of her father who is a king obviously... the balls he must have, to do that are clearly second to none, he's not another Goku rip-off which that character has recently made me question why is he a badass, he knows how to fight yes but when it comes to reason and logical choices fuck no. Meliodas on the other hand is smart he knows when to be serious when he has to be and doesn't make many poor choices.**

 **Matter of fact just go watch The Seven Deadly sins anime or read the manga your choice, but I myself love the anime, it's like what happens when you have Dragon ball Z's fighting while adding multiple One Punch man-like characters along with fantasy like Overlord and perfectly mix it to where it's not unappealing.)**

Goku then walked in as Death pointed at him and said "GET THE FUCK OUT!"

Goku then scratched his head and asked "What why?"

Death then sighed and said "I'm not able to say... Deadpool would kindly?"

 **(Deadpool- YOU DUMBASS MOTEHRFUCKER! If any of the universes are destroyed because of YOUR stupidity then you'll have LESS fighters that can test your limits you god damn fool.)**

Death then pointed at Deadpool and said "That's exactly it."

Goku then dropped his head and said "But come one it's a tournament."

Death then crossed his arms and stated "That will end with more universes destroyed, and you with less fighters to test yourself and enjoy it."

Goku dropped his jaw and thought "He's... right."

Deadpool then shouted dramatically "YOU HAVE LOST YOU BADASSERY STATUS! YOU WILL BE CAST OUT OF THE THE BAR... until you prove yourself a badass again. (Whispers towards you) Dragoritus did not agree to having Goku being kicked out because of the fandom, but he reluctantly allowed it when I showed him that Goku has not once not tried to talk Zeno out of destroying universes so that he can have more challenges in the future."

Death then asked Deadpool "What?"

Deadpool then shrugged and said "Oh nothing."

Goku then dropped his head and said "We'll see after what happens in Super I guess..."

Bayonetta then stood up and handed Death Ashley and said "Here hold her for a moment I need to order something..."

Death held Ashley who only stared back at him with red eyes as he only gave an unamused look and said "You have my eyes."

Raven then leaned forward and said "And mom's crazy hair."

Sam then noticed Ashley's hair was beginning to move on it's own and asked "Doesn't Aunt Fury's hair move on it's own?"

Death then pointed out and said "Why don't you ask her yourself."

Then Death's adopted daughters turned to see Fury sitting in her new armor crossing her legs while reading a newspaper and her hair flowed as if it was underwater. Bayonetta sat back down and saw Fury and said "Hey like the new hair due girl."

Fury then lowered the newspaper and said "Thank you, it's..."

Deadpool then shouted "FABULOUS!"

Everyone turned towards Deadpool giving him an unamused look as he lowered his head down and said "Time out time for me!"

Then Whitebeard was seen drinking ale as Deadpool looked at him and said "Holy shit... the guy who died and left his dead body standing up..."

 **(Dragoritus- Yeah only One Piece character I actually think is badass is Whitebeard, died and remained standing... how many people you know had died and remained standing?**

 **Deadpool- Well Vegeta did die and remained** **floating after he tried to kill Buu.**

 **Dragoritus- Ok... Vegeta is proven his badassery...)**

Then a man in a red helmet walked in weilding two hand guns shouted "DIE YOU SCUM!"

Death then waved at the man and said "Hey Jason."

 **(Jason Todd (AKA Red Hood)- The second Robin in Batman mythos, beaten and killed by Joker, came back pissed off at Batman for not killing the Joker to avenge him fought Batman, was trained by Batman, showing the flaw in Batman's code of no killing but shows his own flaws of when he's killing, was voiced by Jensen Ackles in the Under the red Hood batman animated film and... is now part of Injustice 2's roster.)**

Jason then lowered his weapons and said "Oh... Death... your not going to..."

Death then stated "If you shoot up this place then I will."

Jason then silently walked over to a table and sat down and asked a waitress "Hey can I get a drink?"

The waitress then asked "Sure honey, apple sauce or you want to big a big boy and a beer?"

Deadpool then snickered and said "Hehehehe apple sauce."

Jason then shot Deadpool's head and stated "Beer."

Ashley jumped at the gun shot and began to tear up and cry as Deadpool regenerated and said "Ow!"

Death eyes darkened under his mask as Asura noticed and said "Oh shit... EVERYONE GET OUT!"

Then Death gave Ashley who was still crying to Raven as everyone ran out of the boar hat but death grabbed Jason as he grunted before Death looked up at him showing his angry glowing red eyes as Deadpool's voice could be heard "It was at this moment that Jason Todd knew... he fucked up!"

Death then slammed Jason on the floor as Meliodas asked while cleaning a glass "Hey could you guys take that outside? You just scared off the costumers."

Death then threw Jason out of front door and charged after him as everyone ran back in and Bayonetta said "Awww he's beating up a kid just for his daughters."

Raven then leaned towards Sam and said "Badass."

Sam then saw Raven holding Ashley and said "Awww she's so cute and so goth. And at such a young age... cute."

Jinx then said "Noticed that we're all looking kinda goth?"

Bayonetta then said "Yeah."

Then Everyone heard Jason screaming in pain as well as death shouting "YOU SCARED MY DAUGHTER YOU ASS!"

Asura's hand began to shake with a glass of water in hand as Mithra gently removed the glass and placed on the table as Asura said "Do I look like that when I'm angry?"

Mithra then sighed and stated "Sadly father yes..."


	48. If a kaiju had a good game

The survival/horror game I'd like to see

 **Dragoritus- Batmd, I've told you before, I'm NOT going to revisit The Four Horsemen of the Alchemical apocalypse! So get you head out of my ass about that it WON'T happen.**

 **Deadpool- Yeah even I find it annoying, and I can't die. So Dragoritus you have an idea for a survival game?**

 **Dragoritus- Yeah kinda, I hope that this idea is realized one day, an FPS, survival/horror game, but not with zombies, or normal** **animals, with mutants like Metro that are hard to kill, but... with an even bigger twist. Having giant un-killable monsters, combine the likes of Metro for it's stealth and Alien isolation for having a un-killable force.**

 **Deadpool- Holy shit... I think you just described the Godzilla game no one has made yet.**

 **Dragoritus- I know that a upcoming PS4 game will have kaiju in it and you have to survive as a human, but from what I've seen it's most third person and unless it's like the Last of us' sense of detail and similar story I'm cautious about it... though I don't even own a PS4 either so...**

 **Deadpool- So wait you'd want a Last of us clone centered around a post apocalyptic kaiju world?**

 **Dragoritus- Yes, but I would change the parent-child relationship to something more unique... like imagine if Joel's daughter survived much longer than she did and grew up only to die from protecting a mutant baby animal after it had lost it's mother or something from a giant monster.**

 **Deadpool- Ok... feels kinda pointless but continue.**

 **Dragoritus- Now imagine Joel who found his daughter dead while protecting this animal and instead of blaming the creature for his daughter's death he would try to raise the animal and it would a form a sense of parental relationship, and while time passes we'd next see Joel running from a dangerous mutant animal only to be covered and whistle.**

 **Deadpool- Ok I'm liking this idea already...**

 **Dragoritus- That whistle would call the mutant he raised which has now grown into a large animal that fights off the chasing mutant and after the fight is over and the chasing mutant flees Joel would elbow the mutant and say something like "Took ya long enough big guy."**

 **But here's the twist after awhile Joel would notice that he mutant is still growing and eventually we find out it's growing into a kaiju, the first tamed kaiju. I don't care if it's scientifically impossible for a kaiju to exist, I like having giant ass monsters in video games. But how will the mutants be different from the kaiju? Well I'd like to imagine that the Kaiju in this particular idea are their own group of animals, they all appear different from one and another but they all share a greater size compared to the smaller mutants.**

 **Deadpool- Oh my god... why hans't anyone thought of this yet?**

 **Dragoritus- No clue, and of course the giant monsters would have to be sized down for frame rate purposes an such, but I want to know what you readers think? Would a survival/horror game set in a post apocalyptic kaiju world with a character that looses his only family and adopts a mutant baby animal and has to survive with said animal work? Or am I asking too much?**


	49. Episode 36: Disney is savage

Episode 36: Fuck EA

 **Dragoritus- I see that Overwatch still lacks a story.**

 **Deadpool- So? It doesn't need one.**

 **Dragoritus- Unreal tournament 4 I think it was... had a story mode and it was an arena shooter. But then again Overwatch has these fucking amazing animated shorts of each character that suggests there is a story in this game. But nope you've been lied to... hey kinda like Halo 5 was supposed to be about Master chief being hunted down by Locke and fight him which only happens once in the game which was pitiful and poorly executed.**

 **Deadpool- Ok you've made your point don't make shorts about the game unless it's actually going to be in the game.**

 **Dragoritus- Exactly... so I've gotten bored and watched some gameplayt of Alice madness returns, people keep telling me it's a good game. I tried it once but at the time I wasn't interested and stopped now I'm willing to give it a second chance. Cause I'm getting burnt out from all the ultra realistic games that have very little art style or flare other than being looking so real.**

 **Deadpool- Hey EA pulled another EA.**

 **Dragoritus- Huh (sees Visceral games is shutting down) Oh fuck you EA. FUCK YOU! We just lost a chance for a Dead space 4 or a Dante's inferno sequel because of you and you killed your own franchise that is Mass Effect. (Sees battle front 2's loot crates being shut off due to Disney getting off it's ass) HAHAHAHAHAHA!**

 **Deadpool- Well shit...**

 **Dragoritus- I fear for Dragon age more than ever now... Fuck EA with a giant ass street pole with a stop sign on it up it's own ass.**

 **Deadpool- Damn... That sounds unbelievably painful...**

 **Dragoritus- Activision has kept pretty quiet mostly except for Destiny 2 actually having a mediocre story. But now people are leaving Destiny 2 cause you know it has done nothing new other than a decent story one that when compared to Bungie's other works which is comprised of most of the Halo games very depressing.**

 **Deadpool- Goku somehow achieved Ultra instinct and... overall I hated the idea of Goku getting this power, BUUUUUUUT it's dragon ball Goku MUST ALWAYS BULLSHIT HIS WAY AND HAVE PLOT ARMOR always. The episode itself was cool but it was predictable and the form's design looked awfully lazy. The animation was amazing when compared to the rest of the show, but the best part about this episode was the fact that Goku got his ass beaten.**

 **Goku- Does that mean I get to come back?**

 **Deadpool- Fuck no, your stupidity has gotten overbearingly annoying, the fact you don't know where babies come from is mind numbing even to virgins who simply know the fact of it. I'd argue your more of a gary-sue than any other character in the franchise, sure the new Saiyans are certainly Mary-sues but so where Goten and Trunks, and while Goku spent years dead and achieved the stupid looking super saiyan 3** **while Gotenks does it within a few months within the hyperbolic time chamber.**

 **Dragoritus- I gues I'm taking a break from the rantings now eh?**

 **Deadpool- Just sit back and enjoy the Pool of Death's epic rant... Goku, y** **ou don't know what a kiss is, you only know how to fight, and you don't have any fucking logic or common sense, such as convincing the omni king to spare the universes that are in the tournament so that you could have more fights in the future. But fuck that idea lets have all of them erased so that they can be returned by the super Dragon balls or be simply scrapped just to be scrapped.**

 **Goku- But the Super balls are a good idea...**

 **Deadpool- And if you loose? Oh wait it's Dragon ball you're not allowed to loose, kinda like Superman, all that power and you always have to win in most of your fights. You never actually grow as a character you have had very few traumatic** **experiences that doesn't make you better as a character and no one else, that is more worthy than you actually get some attention they rightfully deserve. I want to know more Beerus and the other gods... more that hot Angel Vados...**

 **Vados- Oh my...**

 **Goku- Look whose talkin' I never beat Cell.**

 **Deadpool- Hey I'm a gag character whose also a badass with his sword.** **You forfeited the match, and even then it was your own son who defeated him oh and somehow you bullshit being dead and are spiritually present to help Gohan defeat cell. Sure Buu is stronger than cell because you know he was unpredictable, the first villain to destroy the Earth just for the giggles but you used something that takes energy from everything it wasn't just you technically it was the entire Earth who killed Buu not necessarily you.**

 **Plus you chose to train Uub over your granddaughter for your own enjoyment of a fight. Sure it's in your saiyan blood to do so but Vegeta has surpassed even the one limit YOU haven't even been able to. He outright refused to fight in the tournament just to ensure that his daughter and wife would be alright. That's something you lack Goku, any legit reason and behave that of annoying child.**

 **Goku- No I don't.**

 **Dragoritus- (Shows Goku punching Monoka to see how strong he is and is pouting after Beerus tells him to stop)**

 **Goku- ...**

 **Deadpool- What happens if you accidentally kill some dude in a friendly fight?**

 **Goku- Dragon balls.**

 **Dragoritus- ... Seriously?**

 **Deadpool- Get the fuck out of here until you've actually re-earned your badasery don't come back. Jesus christ the idiot doesn't understand anything else besides fighting, even his enemies have more character development than he does. Piccolo learned how to let his evil nature go become more of a father to Gohan than even Goku. Vegeta finally got the chance to show he can become a good person underneath that hardened shell and semi-redeemed himself, Buu had a heart tugging moment with Hercule Satan of all people, and funny enough even Frieza set his bitterness with Goku aside to ensure the universe would survive though he's more than likely still a evil prick and plotting to kill Goku.**

 **Dragoritus- Yet he hasn't changed since... well ever. So** **Halo wars 2's single player story dlc about the Flood is available... I'm not paying** **extra for a single player experience nor am I paying for the horde mode. Dlc that is story based or single player only, shouldn't be payed for, if it's to add to the already existing story or a game mode that should have been there at launch then make that free Witcher 3 did it why not anyone else? I'm looking at you Dragon age and Batman Arkham knight shitty overpriced dlc what's wrong you!**

 **Death- Still no news of your entry sister Fury.**

 **Fury- People think I look ugly and that my armor is... feminist inspired? Huh I wonder if they ever looked at Death at the begining of Darksiders 2 without any of his armor equipped he's just wearing leather pants and boots now look at him in the comics see he's quite different too. In the comics he has green eyes and has that awesome armor which is in game as a set. I mean I was also redesigned by the same guy who designed the entire series' characters. Plus War had a different armor set, Death had multiple so why can't I?**

 **Darksiders fan poser- YOU'RE COMIC BOOK LOOK WAS BETTER!**

 **Fury- Yes I know I was rocking with my cleavage, and in fact I'm wearing boob armor it doesn't even make sense but hey Uriel is doing it! So let's hope I get to have multiple outfits like Death... or Bayonetta you know takes some inspiration from my brother's wife.**

 **Bayonetta- Love the shoes my dear.**

 **Fury- Thank you.**

 **Darksiders fan poser #2- HIGH HEELS DON'T BELONG IN DARKSIDERS!**

 **Uriel (Shows high heeled armored shoes)- Is that so?**

 **Lilith (rocking her demonic heels)- Excuuuuse me?**

 **Darksiders fan poser #2- Oh uhhhhhhh... DARKSIDERS IS RUINED AND IS APPEALING TO FEMINISTS!**

 **Dragoritus- Stop trying to ruin the return of a series that deserves a 3rd sequel and actually has reasons for having sequels.**

 **EA- WE HAVE A PLAN TO RUIN STAR WARS MORE THAN GEORGE LUCAS!**

 **George Lucas (Palms face)- Not this again...**

 **Mickey Mouse- EA, THE FUCK DID YOU DO?!**

 **EA- Uuuummmmm uhhhhhhhh...**

 **Mickey (beats the shit out of EA)- FIX! THIS! SHIT! DON'T RUIN MY REPUTATION AND MAKE ME HAVE TO REMIND YPU WHOSE THE BITCH!**

 **EA- I'M SORRY I FIX IT... temporarily...**

 **Mickey (beats up Ea again)- GET THE FUCK UP BITCH! AND UNFUCK YOUR SHIT!**

 **Deadpool- Damn...**

 **Hellboy- Oh crap...**

 **Some guy- The four horsemen are Death, War, Pestilence, and Famine! Not Fury and Strife.**

 **Dragoritus- Death is the only one named, War is implied while the last two is up for debate and therefore could be anything due to them not being given a name.**

 **Fury- Can we get back to the argument of my "fashion sense" not this petty (sighs) argument.**

 **Dragoritus- Agreed.**

 **Same guy- NO I AM RIGHT AND YOU ARE GOING TO HELL FOR LYING SATAN WORSHIPPING SCUM!**

 **Dragoritus- Ummmm... ok? You do you random guy overzealous guy, not judgin ya.**

 **Sam- So... Goth fashion?**

 **Fury- Yes! Look at my armor!**

 **Raven- Not bad.**

 **Jinx- I like the demonic eye placed above your boobs.**

 **Fury- Awww thanks!**

 **Alice- You're hair is rather floaty.**

 **Death- Wait... I thought we only had three teenage daughters...**

 **Bayonetta- (Whistles nervously)**

 **Death- You adopted another?**

 **Bayonetta- (shows Alice's magnificent hair physics and dresses) She makes my hair physics look like plastic. Even more so when compared to yours!**

 **Death (looks at Alice)- You don't mind us adopting you right?**

 **Alice- This is rather odd, no one has ever decided to adopt me before.**

 **Chesire cat- Quite delicious if I'd say so myself.**

 **Bayonetta- Oh hell yes, Chesire!**

 **Luka- You call Bayonetta?**

 **Death- Fuck off she's my wife in this story, boy.**

 **Luka (Runs away)**

 **Death- Creep.**

 **Bayonetta- Oh are you jealous?**

 **Death- No...**

 **Alice (Points)- He's cheeks are blushing.**

 **Raven- Oh wow I didn't see that.**

 **Jinx- That's cute.**

 **Sam- Huh good eye.**

 **Bayonetta- Awwww you do have feelings. (kisses Death's mask)**

 **Death- Stop. (Bayonetta kisses his mask again) Stop that.**

 **Jack Sparrow- They could stop but that would imply they will stop so why not just go with with what the seas takes you.**

 **Revy- Hey you got a drink I can have?**

 **Jack Sparrow- Maybe... what's in it for me?**

 **Revy (Shows off tits and flips him off)- This work.**

 **Jack Sparrow (hands over a bottle of rum)- Why is rum gone?**

 **Death- Of course...**

 **Dragoritus- Well this is interesting... NOW ON WITH TEH MOTHER FUCKING SHOW!**

IN THE LEGENDARY BAR OF BADASSES

Death was seen in the bar again as Asura was sitting and asked "So you're back huh?"

Death then stated while pouring a drink for Asura "Kratos is paying me triple the amount I was payed before."

Asura then shrugged and said "Well you did earn it."

Death then handed Asura the drink and said "Your damn I did, I literally had to clean up a broken down building... I don't clean up buildings."

Then the door was kicked down as a musclier blonde man with a smile on his face was seen as Death waved and said "Hey All Might."

 **(All Might- This guy... this fucking guy. He's an older man whose teaching younger heroes and has incredible strength, from My hero academia and the most powerful and most popular Hero in the series. Plus he's voiced by Chris Sabat, who is Piccolo and Vegeta... and Shenron. You know when this man voices a character he owns that character now.)**

All Might placed his hands on his waist and gave a forced laugh "HAHAHA! I AM HERE!"

Death gave an unamused stare and said "I clearly see... All Might."

Then there was a long silence as All Might dropped a sweat and began to steam and thought "Shit not now!"

All Might then raised his hand and said "NOW I AM GONE! (runs off)"

Death and Asura looked at each other as Death asked "Why did that happen?'

Asura shrugged and suggested "Maybe a date with Midnight?"

Death shivered and said "No I doubt that...

 **Death and Bayonetta's house Last Night**

Death was strapped to the bed naked as Bayonetta was in a dominatrix outfit along with the character Midnight and said "Ready my dear husband."

Death groaned as Midnight gave a sinister smile and said "Oh don't worry we'll make this last the night..."

X TRIANGLE CIRCLE SQUARE SQUARE LEFT STICK RIGHT STICK X X X!

 **Presently**

Death shuddered and said "Why does my wife have so many friends who are willing to go into a threesome?"

Asura then shrugged and stated "I don't know maybe it's a umbra witch thing?"

Death then stated "Her mother doesn't do that as far as I'm told."

Then the door opened again and a humanoid creature walked in, his face was comparable to an octopus, his beard was made from a numerous amount of tentacles which coiled and wiggled in place. He had a crab claw, a crab peg leg, an a black trench coat with barnacles growing out of it and said "Do ya fear Death?"

Death then pointed at the man and said "I AM Death, Davy Jones."

 **(Davy Jones- From Pirates of the Caribbean, Davy Jones is... single handedly the best villain in the entire franchise, because when he showed up Jack was afraid and would do anything to get Jones away from him. Things got dark with the introduction of Jones, his design was unique and life like, and better yet was the fact he had a submarine sailing ship known as the legendary Flying Dutchman plus he had a pet Kraken which is badass enough on itself. But the mots badass thing Jones has ever done when you think about it... he literally killed a man with his beard... gross yes but still the fact he killed a man with his beard is insanely badass.)**

Davy Jones then scoffed and said "And yet so easily coerced into a bartender."

Death eyed Jones as Kratos burst out of the office and shouted "Death we need more beer!"

Death grunted and slammed his head onto the counter shouting "FUCK!"

Davy Jones gave a sinister smirk and left the bar as Death growled in rage before Bayonetta walked in with baby Ashley in her arms and kissed Death's mask and said "Calm down hubby... plus I adopted another daughter..."

Then a girl with Black hair or was it dark brown... it it's hard to tell, she wore a white and blue dress with a bow over the back of her hips which had a skull at the center, the girl had bright green eyes and a bloody knife in hand. Death stared at the girl and said "Why am I not surprised by another adopted daughter?"

Bayonetta looked at the girl and said "This is Alice Liddle."

 **(Alice Liddle- From American Mcgee's Alice series... yes the man is named American Mcgee oddly enough, the series is a twisted dark take on Alice in wonderland. Alice seems unstable and somehow she's gain the ability to enter other people's minds, their own** **wonderland so to speak...**

 **Deadpool- So basically she's a not so scary Alma Wade from F.E.A.R.)**

Death eyed Alice whose hair physics literally broke reality as Death pointed at Asura who was chuckling and said "I'M NOT CLEANING THAT!"

Asura then countered "Heheheh well she is your daughter now right? So she is your responsibility."

Death gave an unamused glare at Asura who took a drink out of a cup and said "Savage."


End file.
